I should probably not speak to soon, but I am hoping that I am seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

Yesterday Rusty and I went to look at a house and from the outside it is perfect. So today I went and toured the inside. I was so blown away! I want this house.

I went to the property management place today and filled out all of their paper work. Tomorrow morning I have to call them back.

The gentlemen that helped me is a retired marine. The owner of the house has lowered the rent by $100 and is willing to give January to us for 1/2 price. I am just so excited!

Will everyone please say a prayer that we get this house. I so do not want to live in a motor home or an apartment. I just want a fresh start. Please everyone send up a prayer for us.

Amber left for Costa Rica this morning, and she was just excited beyond belief. I must say that I am excited for her. I hope that she has a nice trip and that this trip will be something that she will remember for the rest of her life.

Last night George and I had to go down to San Diego's airport to pick up a friend. I thought that his plane would never land! He was delayed because they had to deice! I forgot what it is like to live in the mid west. LOL

We got home around 2:30 this morning, so I only got a few hour's of sleep before I had to hit the ground running to get my day started. I am so worn out. I just need to stay awake until about 7 or 8. If I go to bed now then I will be up at 2 a.m.

Rusty has to work this weekend. He is so not happy because the year end inventory has to be done. To top all of that someone broke into their store last weekend and some fire arms were stolen. So the ATF has been hanging around doing their thing all week.

I just thought of something. You know those gun laws that they are always trying to pass. Why? Honest people like me buy our gun's and fill out the forms. The gang bangers are the one stealing the weapons. So tell me again how the new gun law works?

Oh I am way to tired to be thinking this deep.

Please pray for us.

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Christmas was good

Well aohell will not let me edit the pictures! I swear sometimes I hate aol.

Christmas was so nice. I was so happy to have everyone here. I know everyone had a good day.

Now what would Christmas be without a little drama. Two of the marines did have words and one walked out before eating Christmas dinner. Some how I just could not be bothered to get involved. I was just going to concentrate on the people that were there.

I had an awesome day. I got a lot of the things that I had been wanting. Two of the marines actually searched antique stores for a tea cup and saucer for me. I was so thrilled.

Now it is back to reality. Rusty and I have decided not to say anything until after we go back to court.

However I am making plans. We will have to find a place to live for a few weeks until the house we want to rent comes available.

So I will need to go find a storage unit, and rent a u haul. I know someone that has a motor home, so I am going to ask them if we can rent it for a few weeks. There is a camp ground right across from the high school, so that will be easy for the girls. I will just have to drive Ryan to school.

In the back of my mind I just can't believe this is happening to us. Even after we leave this money pit, we are still going to be paying for it for several more years. All I can say is, we hit a learning curve and we are going to make the best out of it.

I guess I could choose to sit here and pout and lay blame, but that will get me no where. Instead I choose to move on and be the soft place for my husband land. I choose to be here for my children and for my husband. I choose to make the best out of a bad situation.

Amber is feeling a little bit better. I have started feeding her protein shakes and that is helping to give her some energy. I am going to take Amber to the doctor to tomorrow just to make sure that everything is o.k. before she gets up in the air and her ear drums burst.

Well, I am sure there is something that I need to be doing, so I better get to doing it.

 

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Christmas eve in the e.r.

I got woke up this morning at o dark 30, because Amber was sick. So it was to the ER Oh the joys of spending Christmas eve in the hospital.

It turns out that the doc is not sure if her infection is viral or bacterial. Amber is also dehydrated.He was going to wait for some cultures to come back. Then I mentioned that Amber will be leaving for Costa Rica on friday. So they gave her two shots and sent her home with some pain meds.

Right now Amber is sleeping in Rusty's bed. She even had to curl up with his blanket.

So here on sit on Christmas eve with a sick child sleeping in our bed. Back in the summer we had a 15 year old sleeping with us. I guess it is only fair that we now have a 17 year old sleeping with us.

Even with all my bitching, I know that we are going to have a great Christmas.

I know that we are going to have a great Christmas because right now our fellow Americans are fighting for our freedom.

Right now while we are preparing for Christmas their are service men and women wondering what their family back home is doing.

Right now their is a new dad who will miss his child's first Christmas.

Right now the middle east is under siege. Right now the cradle of civilization is in turmoil.

How sad to think that some countries know nothing but war.

Here are some video's of our troops. Please remember them this Christmas.

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yesterday was Rusty's birthday

Yesterday was Rusty's birthday. My baby turned 40. We kept it very low key. Rusty does not like "parties". So I made him some root beer glass candy. I had not made candy in a few year's and Rusty had been asking for it, so that is what he got for his birthday.

Rusty's mom and dad once told me the story behind Rusty. Rusty's mom and dad were both marines and they met in the chow hall at nas Memphis, fell in love and got married.

However they could not get stationed together. So Rusty's mom decided to get pregnant. Back then if a women got pregnant then they got out of the service. So, Rusty was their ticket to be together.

That dark cloud that has been hovering around us has moved. The other day I was so sick and worried, but now I am not.

We have lost our house.

When Rusty had his heart attack we blew through all of our savings and things just went down hill. We both made some bad decisions, so here we are.

The other day I wanted to hold on to this house, but now I don't. After a lot of soul searching I decided that this house is not worth fighting for.

The important thing is that we are all together, and that we are moving on. Rent is so much cheaper here, so that is what we are going to do.

We will rent a place for the next three years and then we are hoping to move out of state.

Rusty said that he would not move the girls out of state as long as they were in high school, so we are stuck here for another three years.

I am at peace with this decision.

We will tell the children that we are moving after Christmas.

Amber will be in Costa Rica while we move so she will be coming home to new place to live. No, for anyone reading this, we did not pay for that trip and that is not why we lost the house.

Today I am going to go talk to a friend that works for a property management company and see what she has. I do have a few other places to call as well.

I had so many journal alerts that I had to delete them, so I will be starting fresh today.

I have a lot of stuff to get done today, so I am going to go get busy.

 

 

 

 

 

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trying

I am trying to get through this day.

I am trying not to think that I ripped the knee out of a pair of jeans. I only own three pairs, so now I am down to two pairs that I can wear out in public.

I am trying to not think about the fact that I have 1/4 tank of gas and I still need to go deliver Christmas to several people.

I am trying not to think about a dark cloud that has been hanging over us.

I am trying to not think of the fact that I have just enough money to buy Christmas dinner, but there will be no extra's.

I am trying to stay positive. I should be proud of myself for saving a little bit through the year and that is what bought Christmas. I should be proud of myself for being able to take what I do have and give to others so that they can have a Christmas. I should be proud of the fact that I know when half price day at the goodwill is. I should be proud of the fact that I am still standing.

Today I must move on. It does not matter what is going on, I have people counting on me. I must do it for other people. Sorry for commenting that much. I have just been busy.

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awake

I was just falling asleep when a friend called. I am not complaining, but now I am awake.

I actually got a lot done today. I got half of the house cleaned up, did some laundry, and a lot of sewing. I do not know what got into me, but I just started sewing pet quilts.

I spoke with Nikki's mentor today. I asked her if she knew of anyone in the church that could use a food basket, and she told me about a lady. I do not know this lady very well, but Nikkis does.

So on Wednesday Nikki and two of her friends are going to help pack food baskets. If some people do not show up then I will get what is left and I can pass them out. So I wanted to have someone in the wings just in case.

Something spoke to me. I went and got out what is left of my Christmas material, and I am going to make her a scrap Christmas quilt. I also have a few scarf's so I will give her one. Then I am going to stuff a stocking for her. I can't wait to bring Christmas to someone else.

I got an early Christmas gift today. I got an e mail from one of our friends. He is coming home from Iraq! that is all I can say about that.

Tomorrow I am going to finish up my sewing and do some more cleaning. I have nothing exciting planned at all. Maybe I will get lucky and I will be able to squeeze in a nap.

 

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still sick

I have this nasty cough and my head is still congested. It seems to be going around. I have talked to a few people that have the same thing and they say that this thing hangs on for weeks. i was also told that it is a virus, so don't bother going to the doctor for it. So here I sit. Coughing and trying not to pee my pants at the same time.

This weekend was very uneventful and I am very thankful for that. I don't thin I could handle much activity.

Last night we got to see old friend. Our friends Sam and Lisa are foster parents and they always have different children in and out of their home.

Last night one of the boys arrived home for the Christmas holiday's. I am just so proud of him. Brandon ( the foster child) could have easily gone down a different path.

Brandon grew up in foster care. He saw his mom only from time to time. Their is no name on his birth certificate, so there is father to speak of.

Brandon is now letting the system help him. Brandon got a scholarship to North Dakota state, and the system is paying for his books, room and food. Brandon want to  become a teacher and eventually move back to the socal.

I am just so damn proud of him.

I was going to go up to the commissary today, but I forgot to get the card from Rusty. I guess I will go tomorrow. Besides one more day of staying in the house will do me good.

Amber is 17 and ready to drive me up a wall. I do not know what I am going to do next year when I have three teenagers in the house!

Anyway, Amber seems to be having money issues. Meaning she does not have enough money to support all that she needs to be doing.

So today I am going to give Amber a lesson in reality. The gas gauge in my car is leaning on e. So I am going to go to some local bars and pull their cans and bottles out of the trash. The I am going to go take them to the recycling center, and then go fill up the tank.

I can afford to put gas in the car, but I am hoping to show Amber that you have to do what the situation calls for. In Ambers case it calls for her taking recycling down and getting the cash so that she can pay her bills.

If this fail's and Amber does not go and pick up their recycling, well I just might keep dong it. I am not that proud and with the price of gas going up everyday I am so not worried about what people think of me.

Well I should get my ass in gear and get something done today. I Have a lot to do ,but I have no energy. All of the children are off school for three weeks, so I know that this is going to be very long Christmas break.

 

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