yes it is Monday

Yes it is Monday.

I can't find my sewing scissors and I want to sew.

I had to take Amber out to finish getting all of her crap done for Europe.

It is hotter then heck.

Did I mention that I can't find my sewing scissors?

Today is my 38th Birthday. So far today I have cleaned out the litter boxes, done laundry, ran the children around, lost my sewing scissors, and most of all I am missing my dad.

My dad was born on June 19th. For as long as I can remember I would always celebrate my birthday with my dad.

My father was in jail the night I was born. This is a true white trash story.

While my mom was in labor with me, my dad went to have a drink. He got arrested for drunk and disorderly. My mom bailed him out of jail on his birthday. It also happened to be fathers day.

I need to go get busy. I am just going to have to break out the quilting stuff so that I can cut some material. I bought this really cool material and I so want to get a curtain made today. Is that to much to ask?

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lets laugh

I must laugh at some of the things that my mom did to drive me nut. I must admit that I did things back that drove her up a wall!

One day we were getting ready to leave the lake and my mom told Ryan to go throw away his water bottle. I stopped Ryan and reminded him that we recycle and that I thought we should go pull all of the recyclables out of the trash cans. So we dug through trash on the beach.

I had stacks of boxes in the garage. My mom was looking at them and decided to go put them in the trash. I stopped her and I put them out front and then went and put an ad on craigslist for free moving boxes. I said " Why are we throwing things away that other people could use?"

My mom asked me if we had any popcorn. So I broke out the hot air popper. I got the dear in the head lights look and then my mom asked why I did not have microwave popcorn. I just explained that I use only organic popcorn. My mom is so not into organic.

My mom stayed in Nikki's room. Now Nikkis room was not unpacked and it was in a state of disaster. Whatever. We moved in a week ago and now Nikki is gone. My mother told me that I needed to get some curtains, some shelves...... oh the list was endless.

So we went to some yard sales. I was able to buy everything that my mom thought Nikki needed for about $10. Now that is recycling! My mom called me cheap.

My mom asked me what type of protein I was going to eat since I refused to eat the meat that she cooked. I opened up a bag of unsalted all organic sunflower seeds.

O.K. maybe I am a little out there and very set in my way. Yes I still dig through trash cans and pull the recycling out. That is just what I do.

O.K. so I don't use paper towels. I don't believe in buying something, to use only once and then to throw it away.

I am glad that my earth wise attitude got to her.

Well Nikki is having a blast! She spent a few days up in Pennsylvania, and then they went to the Ozarks. Today when she called she said that they were heading to Ohio to see the creation center.

So far this summer Nikki has gone rock climbing. She climber 70 feet straight up! Went cliff jumping, got in a mosh pit and is now looking forward to her next big adventure.

Who ever said that Christian children do not have fun? Nikki is on fire and is just loving the fact that she is out there doing so many things and yet is still spreading the word.

I must admit that I miss her. Every time she calls I want to tell her to come home. I want to hug her and fight with her. I want to do her laundry and I want to hear her stories.

I am just so proud of her. Nikki is my light.

 

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It is so not worth it

There is a tee shirt that the marines wear that say's " "pain is weakness leaving your body". If that is the case then I am getting stronger right now.

My mother left today and her visit was very painful to me.

My mother criticized me in front of my friends. My mother sat there in front of Elle and Beth and told me that I was wrong for not allowing the girls to go to Egypt. Then Elle asked me how long it had been since I had a vacation. I told her that I have not had a vacation in over 20 years. My mom offered to pay for half of each of the girls trips.

I got up and walked away. I did not want a fight.

Everytime I told Amber to do something my mother would contradict me.

My mother told me that she would not be coming out for this Christmas. She said that she just can't be away from my sister and hell child. Well thanks for sharing that info with me.

I asked my shrink why in the world she is even California. My shrink said that she is looking for an anchor. Hmm

The night Amber graduated my mom and one of my friends were talking. They were talking about how children return to the nest. My mom looked at me and said "They all return". I just snapped back " and some of us move to California because we can't afford to live in Samoa"

Today I took my mom down to the train. That's right. I did not even take my mom to the air port. I took her to the train station.

On the way down there I gave her all of the girls account information. I said " here is everything that you will need to pay half on the girls trip. I will pay the other half of Nikki's. Amber is on her own. If amber does not come up the money for the rest of the trip then that is between you and her. I do not want to see pictures, and don't bring me anything back and I defiantly don't want to hear about it."

My mom tried to convince me that I should get a job and pay for my trip. My mom does not get it.

Right before my mom got on the train I said "Well I will see you when ever you come back."

My mom said "well we will talk."

 I just smiled and said " there is nothing to talk about."

Oh I so want to cry. I want to scream. I don't want to be a mom any more.

Rusty and I sat down and talked about all of this tonight. The girls are going to Egypt and I am staying home. I guess good mom's do things like this for their children. Rusty is not happy.

Rusty had no real answers for me and that was fine. I just wanted to vent.

I did however come to the conclusion that I need to keep my mom at a distance. I cut her off for 10 years before. I think it is time for her to be cut off again. I just can't handle the stress that she brings into my home.

I told Rusty that if we had medical insurance that I would be on anti depressants! Rusty just laughed and said " You are stronger then that". I am glad that someone thinks so.

So here I sit tonight. I have no real answers and I am still holding back the tears.

I would like to say that you to everyone who sent Amber a card. We will be getting thank you cards out this week.

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up but not moving

Well, I am up early today and I don't know why. I could not turn my brain off last night, so I laid in bed thinking about all the stuff I needed to do.

I noticed something while I was laying there in the dark. When we moved into this house someone gave us a very nice king size bed. So Rusty and I are not sleeping separate beds anymore. But why? The bed is so big we don't touch anyway. Then I tried to move and noticed that sleeping between Rusty and I was Butter, and the kittens. At my feet I two more cats and another cat on my other side. Did we really get a bigger bed so more animals could sleep with us?

I had a very interesting conversation with Abers not boyfriend Sam. I am still not sure why they broke up. I heard one of the fights and Amber was in the wrong. Anyway they have been hanging out a lot more. So Sam and I were talking about Amber. Sam finally said "you know I am putting so much time and money into this relationship and it is getting me no where. I am not even getting sex out of all of this." I just laughed and said "Welcome to married life". Why I am discussing my daughters sex life with her not boyfriend?

Last night Rusty and I went to dinner. I told Rusty about the conversation that I had with Sam. Rusty just laughed and said " well even a good dog needs to be petted once in a while. He will learn."

Then Rusty shocked me and said that he was going to talk to his boss about not going out of town next weekend. I laughed and told him that I had made a comment about this in my journal. It scares me sometimes that Rusty and I can be thinking the same thing and we do not even know it.

Today I have some running around to do. Also Today our friend Elle is coming in! I can't wait to see her. I have not seen her in over a year. Elle said that she wants to spend a lot of time in the sun, so that way she can go back to Alaska looking all tanned and refreshed! That sounds like a good idea to me.

Well I better get moving, I want to have a lot of stuff done so that way when Elle comes in tonight I can just sit and enjoy having an old friend back in our home.

 

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packing it up

Yesterday I finished all of the laundry. For that I am grateful! One of my friends that I had not seen in a while stopped by, so while we chatted I had her help fold all that laundry.

Today I have to go dig out a sleeping bag and get it washed. I have to find this pad thing that my husband use to use. It goes under a sleeping bag and Nikki likes it. Then I have to go find all of our luggage.

Tomorrow Nikki is going to pack all of her stuff for her month long trip and then she is also going to pack for her trip to Nicaragua. Since she will only be home for three day's between trips I think this is a smart move.

We went through a long check list.

Inhalers... Nikki's asthma really acts up when she goes back east where it is so muggy.

Saint Christopher medal... got that. He is the saint of travelers and most of the marines wear it so it also reminds her of them.

Boys underwear..... she wears these because they are long and absorb more sweat.

pads, tampons, baby wipes, toilet paper, shampoo and conditioner...... Oh I hope we have everything. I am sure that I will be at wal mart Thursday night picking up all the last minute things.

Looking back to when I was in high school..... man my children have so many more opportunities then I had. Travel wise I mean. I am glad that our children do take advantage of these oppertunities, but sometimes I wish I would have those same oppertunities. Oh well.

My day has begun and I am need to keep up a good pace if I want to get everything done. If there is no rest for the wicked then I must be very wicked!

Oh last night Rusty tells me that he will gone next weekend for yet another business trip! O.K. now I know he is just doing his job, but damn he should just go back on active duty because at least then the money is tax free! Lets see Rusty is up and out of the house by 7 and then he is usually home by 7 in bed by 9 and he is gone every other weekend. Yep just like when he was in the military!\

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no rest

Here is sit with my first cup of coffee. I have so much to do today. I have 10 loads of laundry to fold. I have thought about leaving it because my mom loves to fold laundry. But since everyone has to jump over the laundry to get to some of the bed rooms I think I should go fold it.

I need to go clean up the kitchen. Ick.

Last night Rusty and I went back to the other house. We had to pick up a few remaining things. So I told Ryan to take everything that was on the kitchen counter and go put it in the trunk of my car.

That was when I noticed Ryan had on dirty sock.

Me: Ryan why are you wearing dirty socks?

Ryan: Because none of my socks are clean.

Me: are you suppose to wear dirty socks?

Ryan: no

Me: what are you suppose to do when your hamper is full?

Ryan: bring it out to be washed.

Me: then why haven't you done that?

Ryan: blank stare

Me: you use to have 20 pairs of socks, so why are you wearing dirty socks?

Ryan blank stare

Me: What did I say would happen if I caught you wearing dirty clothes again?

Ryan: I would get in trouble.

Me: You are grounded from play station and t.v. for a week.

I am not sure why I bother having these conversations with Ryan. We have had these conversations a million times. I am not sure why I bother disciplining him because he does not respond to it anyway.

I was so hoping that one day he might get it but I think I should just forget it.

Then I told Ryan to go get all of the stuff out of the trunk of the car and place everything on the dinning room table.

I walk into the kitchen and there stands Ryan putting everything on the counter.

Me: Ryan where did I say to put everything?

Ryan: on the table.

Me: well is this the table?

Ryan: no

Me: then take everything off the counter and go put it on the table!

Why do I bother? Will he ever be able to follow simple instruction?

Then I got a call from the place that Nikki will be traveling with. It turns out that Nikki will be leaving Friday instead of Saturday. What? I have to pick my mom up in San Diego on Friday. Nikki will be leaving from Orange County!

Some how some way I will figure all of this out.

I forgot to get Ambers car smogged. So I had to get a temp sticker for her car. I will add this to my long list of things to be done.

Well I better go pull something out of the freezer so I can cook dinner tonight. Then I will hit the ground running. I am on my second cup of coffee, so I should be good soon.

 

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well we made it!

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Well we are all moved in and for the most part unpacked. I am not as sore as  was yesterday, but I am still little sore. I cant shave my legs because I have nasty looking cuts on them. The sad thing is I did not lean them when it happened and I can't remember when my last time I got that one shot. I guess we will figure it out when I get lock jaw.

Yesterday was Ambers 18 birthday. My oldest daughter is 18!

Amber was born June 1, 1990 at tripler Army medical hospital, in Hawaii.

Amber was taken by crash c section, and was born with group b strep. ( did I spell that right)

Today you would never know that she was so sick when she was born.

We call Amber our little turtle. My dad gave her that name. So Amber has a lot of turtle stuff. Amber is even doing her room in a Hawaii theme and she has her turtles everywhere!

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Like this mother, I am sure that our children will not give us the mom of the year award.

Last night Nikki was late coming home from church, so we called her. She was at the boys house!

Rusty hit the roof. So Nikki comes home and Nikki and Rusty started fighting.

I was sitting five feet from them playing on the computer. I figured that this is their fight and I was going to stay out of it.

Then Nikki called Rusty and ass hole and she called me a liar! So Rusty sent Nikki to her room.

Oh that was so not going to happen. I went thought the house the other way and cough nikki in the hallway.

So here we are in the hallway. I have one foot in her stomach and the foot on the floor. Since we were both pinned up against the wall I took the opportunity to tell what I was thinking and brain dust her a few times.

Rusty pulled me off of her and told me to stop because the cops were next door.

Oh the joys of my life.

Today I need to go down to AAA and get Ambers car registered. Then I have to meet Rusty over at the other house to get a few last items and clean up just a little bit.

This week is going to be very crazy for me. Our friend Elle comes in on Thursday, my mom comes in on Friday and then Nikki leaves on Saturday. I can see my pocket book screaming because of all the gas I am going to be spending on gas. Ouch.

 

 

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