I made it

Well the day is coming to an end and some how I am still standing. I did everything that I needed to do. My eyes ares ore from crying and I so worn out. But I am still standing.

This morning I called my friend Ray. Now Ray and I have a love hate relationship, so when he answered the phone he barked at me! I amsked him if he could talk and he so no, that he would have to call me back. So about five min. later he called back, and I just lost it. Through my sobs I heard Ray the marine start barking orders. " you get in and answer my phone, if anyone calls take a message. You get in here and guard the hatch, if anyone shows up tell them to hang tight, and dont bother me until I come back in" Then I told him what happened. Ray let me have a pitty party and then told me that God knew I could handle the stress and that is why this was put on us. Well maybe God should not trust me so much.... lol

I really believe that a friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out, well last night the chips were down for us and today I found out who our true friend were. Ray was one of them. Can you believe that he actually offered to take leave and come get all of my children if rusty ever goes into the hospital! He has three small children of his own and lives in a single wide trailer. I call a guy that we are in bis. with and asked him to step in and run our bis. today. He was right there! He did awesome. He not only ran our bis, but he was actuall concerned about us. What a friend. The people that are staying with however .... well I am glad that I did not give the title of friend out to them! They were here last night when everything happened, so they knew that I was under a lot of stress. They got up this morning and went to the beach. They did not offer to take the girls, they did not aask if we needed anything.... NOTHING. oh well I can now see the kind of people that they are.

I am very scared and yet very hopeful. I am scared that I am going to loose Rusty, yet hopeful that since we caught this problem early it wont be a problem in the future. Hope is what keeps me going.

I called my mom today and told her what happened. My mom explained all the medical stuff to me, since doctors talk in their own language! mom informed me that me dad is doing worse and at the end of the month he has to hav a scope stuck into his lungs to find out what is wrong with them. I do not know what I will do if my dad dies. He is my best friend and I will never recover from loosing him.

OH! last night at the hospital our doctor use to be Balboa! Then our nurse was a corpsmen!  I asked this guy if he liked serving with the navy or the marines better, and he said the marines! So I made the joke that I could yll corpsman up and the doc and the corp men would know what I meant. We just cant get away from the marines!

I made it, so I dont want to hear other people complaining!