Friday, April 18, 2008

molded and dried

This morning I was thinking about myself. Not in a selfish way, but I was wondering why I am the way I am.

I know that everything that has ever happened to me has shaped me in some way.

I went to a private Baptist school where I just struggled to keep up. While I was there I was teased, picked on, spit on, and darn right humiliated. It was in that school that where my parents decided to hold me back. I will never forget having to go back to that school and face everyone I knew. It was in this school where a preachers son took advantage of me.

From there I went to a public high school. I did o.k. there. My grades were o.k. and I had friends. It was in this school that I met a gal from Austria and whom I would later go visit. It was in this school that I took night classes and graduated in three years.

I did not grow up in a broken up. I think my mother loved me, but I know my father did. It was in this house that my sister and I would fight like cats and dogs and eventually never stop. It was in this house that I learned the evil's of alcohol.

Growing up I spent a Halloween in a grave yard burying a grandmother. I spent summers at an Aunts house just hanging out with my cousins. I was never really pushed to get out of my box. I worked part time from the time I was 15.

Here I sit today. A lot of good and bad things have happened to me in the past and I know that they have all shaped me.

Trust. I don't trust anyone right away, everyone must prove themselves to me. If someone does break my trust I will never forgive them.

Love. I do not love very easily, but when I do love I love with all my heart. The people that I do love I will protect with my life and bite the head off anyone who tries to mess my loved ones.

Hope. I do hope for the future. I do hope that my children grow up to rich and happy. Yes, I said rich because being poor sucks.

Faith. I have been told that I have strong faith. Where I got this faith from I have no idea.

Out going. I woke up one morning and realized that life was passing me by. I was sick of hearing stories about other peoples adventures. So I started making my own adventures.

Forgiveness. I don't do this well at all. It takes me a very long time to forgive, and it takes an even longer time for me to forgive myself. You do me wrong watch out.

Karma or payback. What ever you call it I believe in it. I do believe that no deed goes unnoticed and that the universe will pay you back. Good or bad.

Giving. I am a giving person, but I give in secret.

So here I am. The most imperfect person you will ever meet. However if you are looking a true friend I am here. If you are looking for a good time, then I will be happy to show it to you. If you ever need anything I will give you the shirt off my back. If you ever need a good laugh then read my journal.

So today we are going back to Jacksonville Florida! Lyn today is your day to join us. We are all going to camp out at your house until we get on the ship! Do you have room for Paula's cow?

On Monday I will announce the ship that we are going to "borrow". I do think that we should allow the staff of the ship to stay. Lets face it I want to be waited on hand and foot.

If you gals have any special request then please let me know so I can make sure that we have everything we will need to a long boat ride.

Here is the link to favorite transplanted Brit! Hey Lyn I will bring the tea.


lanurseprn said...

I think you are a very special lady and I'm happy to know you.

plieck30 said...

Wonderful entry. I like the way you've been shaped and I'm glad I met you here. Hope there will be a massage therapist aboard. Paula

momiscool2 said...

I think you turned out awesome and I'm happy to call you my friend!
As for what we need on that ship -  a shit load of alcohol would be a good start lol


ukgal36 said...

I have Beer, Gin and Tonic, Pimms...tea Coffee and half naked sailors to serve it...;-)
Come on down and stay a while..I'm ready ..

glensfork4 said...

Well I for one am glad I found you through J-land!!!!!, definately spa stuff - massages, facials etc - booze - hot guys (just to look at ya know ;)  )

hey-that could potentially save Lyn airfare if we hijack the boat.


lisa41076 said...

Kelli, I am proud to call you my friend, Hope you have a great weekend, Love Lisa

lifes2odd said...

I've always known you had a beautiful spirit!
Can't wait until we get to Lyn's. Definitely make room for Paula's cow Lyn!
Martha ~

deshelestraci said...

I love this entry.  Very real, very normal human!  Can we bring John Mayer?

rdautumnsage said...

I wouldn't like you any other way than what you are, REAL and down to earth. It's not what you came from that defines you, rather what you decide to do from here on out. I've never seen you any other way than a compassionate, giving person. You have rough days just like the rest of us and that appeals to me. Your not trying to be someone your not. Stay as you are my dear friend, I like you just fine. (Hugs) Indigo

buggieboo1 said...

ON THE  ship??? jack daniels wild berry!!!! YUMMY

lovely entry!

hope you are having a great weekend!


helmswondermom said...

Very insightful entry.  
Have fun with Lyn in Jacksonville!

gehi6 said...

I enjoyed this thumbnail sketch of yourself.  And the song.  And the trip.  I love people to self analyze.  Gerry

pamal3 said...

Lovely entry. I stopped by to say Congratulations for being chosen as this week's Guest Editor's Pick. Love Pam xx

cayasm said...

Congratulations on being a "Guest Editor Pick"


plieck30 said...

Yee ha you're a guest editor's pick and you so deserve it. Congratulations! Paula

photographybymon said...

Congrats on being the guest editors pick this week.  I wouldn't have found you if Betty hadn't mentioned your journal.  A lot of what  you experienced in your childhood sounded a lot like my own ... same but, different.  I plan on stopping by again, I enjoyed reading your journal.


candlejmr said...

I am here because Sherry mentioned your journal as one of her Editors picks!  I have three teenagers too and I am always looking for "a totally impefrect, true friend who knows how to have a good time!"  You sound like someone I would love to get to know.   You also seem to know some of my great JLand friends....(Pam, Michelle, Lyn,  Martha) My journal is private, but if you'd like to stop by, let me know and I will certainly add you!


topazscorpio27 said...

Congrats on being a guest editor's pick!  -Dawn-

luvrte66 said...

Congrats on being a Guest Editor pick!


ukgal36 said...

OMG i wondered who all those people were in and out of my loo all weekend..the pool was full too..and the cow did a good number on the grass..saved hubby from having to mow!!!
It's monday let's go steal a ship...:-P

lurkynat said...

okay I give up what is in Jacksonville Florida? vacation?
What ever it is I hope you enjoyed it!