Friday, June 29, 2007

another friday

I am up early for me. I have no idea why, but  I am upright so that must be a good thing.

Today I just have the same old shit planned. Clean up the house. Does anyone want to join in on all of this fun.

So last night I told Rusty about talking his dad and about hearing my dad talk. He just smiled and said "well you know they both loved you".

I called Dustin ( one of the marines) last night and asked if I could talk to his mom. So I called his mom and she was so shocked to hear from me, but that is o.k. I am good at shocking people. Talking to Dustins mom really gave me some insight into him, Now that I have talked to his mom I have something special planned for his quilt. I can't tell you guys because Dustin reads my journal! LOL

Amber was on my last nerve yesterday. What is it with teenagers? I have to remember that she is 17 and knows everything. So with that said..... Rusty found out last night that it is going to cost about $250 a month to have Amber added to our insurance. So we will not be adding her. That really pissed Amber off. I had to explain to her that while we can afford the $250 a month I do not feel that it is our responsibility to pay her car insurance.

Amber things I am being very unreasonable because I make her pay for her own cell phone and buy her own clothes.

I believe that it is called reality. I noticed that her shopping habits went way down when she had to buy her own stuff. Don't get me wrong we still buy her clothes for her birthday and for Christmas, but everything else is on her.  We will see just how bad she wants to drive once she gets back from her vacation.

I am so looking forward to next Wednesday, yes that is the fourth of July, but for me it means that all of the children will be going to my moms house! Yes, two weeks with no children. I can so see myself sitting on the beach for a few days.

After they are done at my moms house Amber will be going to Iowa for a few weeks to visit our friends. Nikki and Ryan will be coming home, and then Nikki will be leaving for a road trip to northern California.

It must be nice to be young and be able to just pick up and go.

With that said I am going to go get dressed and start my day.


Thursday, June 28, 2007

I need to get it together

The other day I turned on the computer and I found my play list and hit play. I went about cleaning up and doing other things. I was standing in the kitchen when I realized that the music over. I am a music lover and I have to have tunes going all the time. So I looked over at the computer and I said "Hey Rick put some music on". Nothing happened. I just knew that I had just seen him sitting at the computer. I looked again and the chair was empty. Rick is my late father in law and he has been dead for a few years. I swear to you guys the other day he was sitting here, just like he use to do.

Then today I was standing at the ironing board and Nikki was at the computer. I heard my dad say "I am so proud of you for going out there and changing the world. You will have a lot to write about when they tell you to write what you did over your summer vacation" I turned around to answer my dad, but we was not here. Those word that I heard today were the last coherent words he spoke to Nikki.

Am I loosing my mind?

Anyway last night everyone was gone and Rusty said that he was staying after work to cook out with the guys. Then four marines walk in. They said what's for dinner? I just looked at them/ I had no idea that they were coming home. Then Rusty showed up! So much for a nice calm evening of sewing. Oh well it was good to see everyone. I do not usually get to se the marines during the week.

Today I have pulled out a bunch of meat, since I know that they are coming back tonight.

I have finished another quilt for one of the marines. I will take a picture of it once I give it her. I must admit that while I love to quilt, it also brings me great sadness. I am making yet another round of quilts for yet more of our friends that will be leaving for Iraq. I would to make them quilts just because.  Maybe one day I will be able to make some baby quilts for them.  That is once they have settled down with and started a family of their own.

Well I need to get back to my day. Lyn and Heather I tried to read your journals, but aohell was giving me a hard time.


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

story time

Yesterday I got Nikki up and took her to McDonalds for a cheeseburger. Nikki said that she does not want to see chicken or rice for a very long time, so she requested McDonalds! LOL

Heather, if I had known that Nikki was going to be stuck in Atlanta I would have had you go meet her. They were suppose to have like a 20 min. lay over, but then they got delayed for two hours!

So while we were talking she told me that they did great things down there and that they in return were so blessed.

Nikki said the children that stick out in her mind were these two little girls that just looked so sad. She found out that their parents had left them and that their uncle beats them. In one of the pictures you will see a lady holding these girls. Nikki said that what you can't see is that the older one has a cut on her head from uncle hit her. The cut was sown up with blue thread. Nikki went to these girls and told them that she was once beat by a man that was suppose to protect them. She also told them that they too can over come this.

Nikki said that Nicaragua was very hot this year and that putting on the clown makeup just made her face itch.

On the last day that they children were there they got to go horse back riding and four wheeling on the beach. That sounds like a lot of fun to me.

I got a call from Nikkis team leader yesterday. She had to laugh at Nikki because the bus that the group was traveling on kept breaking down. Nikki was always the first one to get back on the bus while everyone else was not to sure about this.

I had to laugh. I have two cars that are just like that bus! That is why Nikki was not afraid.

The leader also told me that they are going to do another mission trip to Mexico this year. This one has a price tag of only $350 dollars, because they are driving down there. The group will be building a church. Nikki is so excited about this trip because she has never been on a building trip before.

It also looks like they are going to cut the Africa trip short and do both Africa and Nicaragua next year.

I better get moving. I do have a lot to get done today.

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Walmart at 1 a.m.

So Amber and Sam come home around mid night. I was ready for bed and all I wanted to do was sleep, but we went to wal mart instead.

It was just like a scene right out of the movie forces of nature. I was just amazed at what people buy in the middle of the night. One lady bought a jumbo industrial thing of t.p. Man it must really suck if some one is at home waiting on her.

I tried to buy some fabric last night, but their fabri department closed before I got there. Whats that about? I thought this was a 24 hour wal mart. That's o.k. I should not be buying fabric while I am trying to stay awake.

Then I found Amber and Sam in the Barbie aisle. They also had some of those children recliner chairs, so we all sat in them and played with the toys. Can you believe that we got kicked out of wal mart? Well we did.

So we went back to the church to wait on Nikki. We were all so tired that we fell asleep in the car. We did not wake up until Nikki opened the door! It was so good to see her.

I have not heard to much about the trip. I do know that Nikki was sick most of the trip and that her leader wanted to take her to hospital, but Nikki would not go. Nikki got me a hammock! I have so been wanting one of those.

The reason I want one is because I have never had sex in one. I thought that would be something fun to try. Now I just have to figure out where to hang it so that we won't scare people while we are trying to have sex in it.

I was thinking that I should hang it above the bed. There would have to be studs up there that we could drillonto. Then if we fell out we would at least land on something soft. Now I just have to convince Rusty of this.

I am going to go drop off Nikkis cameras and go back to wal mart. I think we are doing tacos for dinner. There is a little local place that has them 2 for $1 on Tuesday. Oh crap Nikki will not want that. Nikki said that she does not want to see chicken or rice for a very long time.

I am to worn out to worry about dinner right now.

Monday, June 25, 2007


As many of you know, my life is an open book. There are times in my life when I do not share what is going on. I do not share them because I do not want people to think I am bragging about myself, but I have to tell you what happened today.

I was going through the mail and I got a letter from someone that I did not know, that only live a few blocks from me.

I opened the letter and I was shocked at what I read. This lady had gone behind a thrift store and had picked up some of the donations that we had dropped off. The lady told me that she was doing that to help make ends meet.

inside one of the boxes was home video's of a baby born in 1997, and she wanted to return the videos to me. I do not know how she got our address. She said that she found a piece of paper with our address on it in one of the boxes.

They were not our videos. I did not have a baby born in 1997 and I do not have many videos of the children anyway.

I grabbed a bunch of grocery sacks and I started filling them with food. Then I went out to the garage and started grabbing stuff off the shelf.

That is when Amber came out and asked what I was doing. I told her that I found out that a family needed some help and that SHE was going to do something about it. Then we went back inside and started grabbing some meat from the freezer.

I gave Amber and Sam the lady's letter and the envelope with the address on it and sent them out the door.

Amber called me and said " mom, the lady was not home but her husband was. He did not want to take the food at first, but he took it and smiled. Mom I know they needed food."

I do not know how that lady got our address, but she did and her letter did not fall on deaf ears.

I try to do the right things and I try to teach my children that random acts of kindness are good. This was the first time I had Amber do it on her own. Usually the girls see my acts and never really say anything.

I do hope that Amber learn's to give. Amber is not a selfish child, but I do not think that children today at taught to look out side the box at the big picture.

I want to teach my children to give and to not expect anything in return. Giving is a good thing. Caring for people that you do not know is a good thing.

On another note. Nikki called me from Atlanta and she should be in my arms in just a few hours. I just know that my children are going to change the world for the better.

Nikki will be home today!

I am so jazzed that Nikki will be home today! She will be landing at lax at 10:05 p.m.! I so want to hug her and hear all about her trip. I also can't  to see her pictures, but I will have to wait a few days until we get the cameras developed!

Today I am going to spend the day doing the dull stuff that moms do. I need to get a ton of laundry folded, and I am going to wash all of Nikkis bedding, so she will have nice clean sheets to crawl into.

One of the marines mom sent me a ton of home made soap. Man my bathroom smelled so good. I just love stuff like that. I will have to post her web page when I get it. I did however share the soap with all of the female marines that were here yesterday.

I got one of the quilts for the marines finished over the weekend. I will take a picture of it the next time she brings it back. Anyway, some of the other marines said well where is our quilt? O.K. now hold on a second. I am only one person trying to get 7 quilts done by February. Actually I need to have another one done by August. Anyway, I am trying to use the material that I have, and I was asked to double bat the quilts, so that they would be warmer. I guess I better get busy! Oh crap I will also have to make some service flags for the marines that do not have yet.

Rusty is feeling a little better but his ear's are still plugged up. I feel so bad for Rusty. We have had to yell at him all weekend. Rusty even said that it was hard to be around a lot of people this weekend because he could not hear what was going on. I guess I have just gotten use to a new normal. Once Rusty lost hearing in his left ear, I just got use to making sure that his right ear was toward me when I talked to him. Now the one good ear is still blocked and he is struggling to hear.

I actually got a child support check the other day. It was for a $363. That may sound like a lot, but I will not see another one for 6 months. I could get cash aid and food stamps for the girls, but Rusty will not have any part of that. Rusty said " we will make it and thegirls will grow up knowing that we did it all with out any help". That they have.

Amber has been looking into changing her last names to Nelson. I made everyone wait on the whole name changing thing. Rusty wanted to adopted the girls, but I said no because I wanted the sperm donor to have to pay his child support. Not that he does, but I do not want him to get off the hook. So, now that Amber will be 18 next year, she can just go file the papers and change her name.

Today I am going to stay focused. I have a lot of stuff to get done, and I need to take a nap, because today is going to be a long one. Nikki will not get back from LAX until after mid night. I will have to try to get some pictures of her.


Sunday, June 24, 2007

white trash

You might be white trash if: You have friends that do nude jello shots.

You might be white trash if : You agree to let your girlfriend wax your chest and she runs out of papers and wax.

You might be white trash if: two of your friends go to the garage to have sex of the sofa that you keep in there.

You might be white trash if: you find two grown men with flashlights looking in the garage window to watch your friends have sex.

You might be white trash if: everyone runs to the garage to grab a firearm, and the same couple keeps having sex.

You might be white trash if: You have thirteen combat veterans with loaded weapons standing in your front yard, sitting on tailgate of trucks, and two on the porch swing.

You might be white trash if: Your husband tells you to go get the 357 and to use it, if you need to.

You might be white trash if: you get the 357 and then go back to your sewing.

You might be white trash if: The peeping tom's come back and thirteen locked and loaded marines start walking toward you.

You might be white trash if: You tell your son to go pee by the tree or to go pee in the lake, and your son pulls his trunks down and pee's into the lake.

You might be white trash if: Two of your friends try to have sex in the lake and some children scream " THEY ARE HAVING SEX.

So how's was everyone else's weekend? I will try to catch up with everyone tomorrow.

OH I was told that I would make a good regimental sergeant major. I went out looked at all the marines, asked a few questions, and then went back to what I was doing.


Friday, June 22, 2007

cool down

I so love my Starbucks, and yes I know that I should not go there because they do not support the military. So I found out how to make my own stuff. I hope these will help everyone cool down!

Starbucks Frozen Frappuccino
From: Top Secret Recipes: Sodas, Smoothies, Spirits, and Shakes
by Todd Wilbur
(Plume; February 2002; ISBN: 0452283183; PB)
Cookbook Heaven

It was in 1995 that Starbucks stores started selling this frozen drink, one of the company's most successful new products. The Frappuccino is blended with strong coffee, sugar; a dairy base, and ice. Each one is made to order and each one is guaranteed to give you a throbbing brain freeze if you sip too hard. The drinks come in several different varieties, the most popular of which I've cloned here for your frontal lobe-pounding; caffeine-buzzing pleasure.

Make double-strength coffee by measuring 2 tablespoons of ground coffee per cup (serving) in your coffee maker: The drink will be even more authentic if you use Starbucks beans and grind them yourself just before brewing.

Makes 2 "Grande" Drinks


  • 3/4 cup double-strength coffee, cold
  • 3 tablespoons granulated sugar
  • 1 cup low-fat milk
  • 2 cups ice
  1. Make double-strength coffee by brewing with twice the coffee required by your coffee maker: That should be 2 tablespoons of ground coffee per each cup of coffee. Chill before using.
  2. To make drink, combine all ingredients in a blender and blend on high speed until ice is crushed and drink is smooth. Pour into two 16-ounce glasses, and serve with a straw.


For this version, add 3 tablespoons of caramel topping to the original recipe and prepare as described. Top each glass with whipped cream and drizzle additional caramel over the whipped cream.


For this version, add 3 tablespoons Hershey's chocolate syrup to the original recipe and prepare as described. Top each glass with whipped cream, if desired


Wendy's Frosty
From: Top Secret Recipes: Sodas, Smoothies, Spirits, and Shakes
by Todd Wilbur
(Plume; February 2002; ISBN: 0452283183; PB)
Cookbook Heaven

First served at Wendy's in 1969, the Frosty continues as a favorite in fast food shakes, even if it only comes in chocolate flavor: This clone recipe is an improved version of the recipe that appears in the first book, Top Secret Recipes. I've designed this for just a one- person serving and have reduced the chocolate in the shake so that it's more like the real thing served today. I find the smaller yield also helps to make the thing blend better:

Makes 1 serving

  • 1/2 cup milk
  • 2 cups vanilla ice cream
  • 4 teaspoons Nesquik chocolate drink mix

Combine all of the ingredients in a blender: Blend on medium speed, stopping to stir several times with a long spoon, if necessary; to help the ingredients blend well.


7-11 Cherry Slurpee

2 cups club soda, chilled
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon kool-aid cherry powdered drink mix
1/2 teaspoon maraschino cherry juice
2 1/2 cups crushed ice

Combine 1 cup of club soda, sugar, cherry powder and the cherry juice in a blender until completely mixed.

  1. Add the crushed ice and process until blended smooth.
  2. Pour cherry mixture into a pitcher and add the remaining club soda.
  3. Stir just to mix then pour into glasses.

catching up time

 For the past few days, I have been e mailing back and forth with Louise. Louise lives in the U.K. and has offered to drive the 70 to London, just she can show Amber around for a night! Louise, you rock! Here is the link to her journal

As for the pictures I posted yesterday. Amber is the one covered in sand. Sam in the one covering Amber in sand and Ryan is the one playing in the ocean.

Rusty finally went to the doctors today and he has a double ear infection. I do hope that the meds kick in soon. Rusty has been so miserable for over a week now. The hard part is that Rusty can't take a lot of the over counter meds because of his heart and high blood pressure. For those of you who do know Rusty had a massive heart attack and actually flat lined twice. All of this at the age of 37.

Rusty has talking about taking some vacation time. Then house guest from hell bought a boat here in Lake Elsinore. Then Rusty tells me yesterday that his vacation time has been moved back and that actually works out well for him, since the boat will not be ready to go to Oregon until about that time.

Now wait just a minute here. I told Rusty and house guest from hell that I was not going to go drive a boat all the way up to Oregon. My idea of a vacation is not be crammed in a truck that smells like ass, just to listen to my children bitch for 16 plus hours, so that we can haul boat for someone else.

My idea of a vacation is going some place like Puerto Rico, and sipping a drink in some little town in Mexico while the sun goes down.

We will have to see when the time gets closer. I am thinking this would be a good year for separate vacations. Rusty can take Ryan and go to Oregon, and I will go do what I want to do.

Nikki will be home very late on Monday and I can't to see her and to hear all about her trip! Nikki's goal is to change the world by helping as many people as she can. I so love that about her.

Amber got another sponsor check in the mail yesterday, and she is very happy about that. Now Amber is only $24 dollars short of this months payment. I must give Amber credit for doing what ever she has to do to get the job done. I am proud of her for working toward her goals.

Well I am going to go soak in a tea bath and see if I cant get some of this stink out of my legs. I can't believe that I burned the back of my legs!

Thursday, June 21, 2007

surfs up

 Amber comes into my room this morning and says "lets go to the ocean!" I said well pack everything up!

While we were getting ready to go the animal shelter called me and asked me to foster 4 kittens that had just been dumped. I told the lady that I would be by after we were done at the beach.

Man I had a blast today just hanging out with the children.

 I took my kite down to the ocean and I had a hard time getting it airborne. There was a large group of marines eating lunch on the beach, and I just know they were watching me. I was going to be damned if I did not get the kite off the ground. Once it was up, it flew all day. I think I want another kite. A big Chinese dragon kite. I love the kite I have now because it is a dragonfly, but I think I am ready to move on.

Ryan and I went for a walk on the beach to look for some shells, but did not find any. So we decided to pick up all the trash on the beach. I explained to Ryan why we needed to this and he was like o.k.

Ryan has taken to body surfing and bogie boarding! I am so jazzed. I love the ocean and I love to swim. I think we have found something that both of us like to do.

After we were done at the ocean I swung by the animal shelter to pick up the kittens. I do not know the story behind these kittens other then they are small for their age. One of the kittens was cover in its own waste! The people that owned these kittens must not have taken very good care of them. I will try to get some pictures of them tomorrow.

I have a sudden craving for burger king. Lets see.... kittens are down for the night, Rusty and Ryan are sleeping, and Amber is with Sam. Yep I am going to burger king.


Wednesday, June 20, 2007

some bubbles

Jake showed up sometime Monday night. I heard the door open, but the dogs did not bark, so I went back to sleep.

Tuesday morning Jake said that he had to go down to base, so I rode down with him since I had to go down there anyway.

We stopped and had lunch with Rusty. I was so hungry and I was just pigging out. The I turned to grab my drink and I saw a roach sitting on the wall next to me. I jumped up and my chair slid across floor. Rusty and Jake just looked at me. I said " look at the roach". Rusty and Jake, both put their forks down and grabbed their hats, and out the door we went. That was just so gross!

Jake and I are walking through the commissary, and this older lady looked at us and said " I see you have a sugar dad just like me" This lady spoke as if she was from the U.K. and I immediately thought about Lyn. Jake just laughed and said it is more like that he has a sugar momma, since I had all of the money.

Then we went to the package store and we could not find this certain type of whisky that Jake wanted, but I found some pink Champaign!

Jake ended up bbqing some ribs last night and I got trashed on Champaign. Man I love that stuff.

As for today, well I am not sure what I am going to do. I know I have to do the usual. I got out some material so I could make a quilt, so I might start on that today. I only have about six quilts to get done before February.

I spoke to my mom the other day and she mentioned that she and my Aunt have rented a condo for a month down in Mexico. I am thinking about going down there for a few days. I have been to Mexico before and I can take it or leave it, but I am thinking it would be a nice break for me. Of coarse I still need to find out if my sister and hell child will going, I so do not want to be there when they are there. I will need to go apply for my passport. So I have a few details to work out.

Sam and Amber got the yard done for me. The city should be by today to check and see if I cut my weeds down. Rusty said that I should go sit on the front porch and wait for them. I do not think so. We have been hitting record breaking heat, so I will not be sitting on my front porch all day!

Well I better get my body moving.

Monday, June 18, 2007

it is going to be a long summer

I was looking at Jessica Parkers new line of clothing when I saw this picture. I love her hair. I just wish I could see the back of her hair. I just know with my curls that this hair style would look so cute on me.

I am about to go on a rant so watch out.

Nikki is gone, Amber was out with Sam and another friend. I was stuck at home with Ryan. I told Ryan to turn the video games off and that he was not going to spend his summer playing video games and watching t.v.

I sure hope that today is not what I have to look forward to. None of the children in the neighborhood will play with Ryan. O.K. Ryan will not play with them, and I can't blame him ,since all of the children pick on him. So he sat on the floor and stared at the wall. Then he will go outside and skip the length of the yard, and then it is back to staring at the wall.

I was thinking about going to the lake, but Ryan only wants to go to the lake if someone is "entertaining" him. I just wanted to worship the sun god.

I went to talk to my neighbor who has a daughter with c.p. and I told her what was going on. She said that the t.v. and the video games are the only friends that they really have. What else can we do? We can't force the other children to be nice to him. I can't force him to go hiking, or surfing, or any of the other things that I want to go do.

So where does that leave me? Stuck at home all day? I am just thankful that summer school will be starting soon and at least he will be in class with all of his friends from this year.

I want to know where the guide book is for raising a mentally handicap  child. If they were passing them out then I missed it.

Rusty is still sick. I so wanted Rusty to come home so that I could have some adult conversation, but that will not be happening tonight.

I had no adult conversation all day and I won't have any tonight. Right now is the time when I would love to have a job. At least I would have someone to talk to.

Oh I need a girlfriend that I can go get some coffee with.

O.K. enough of the bitching. It will get me no where.

Love the marines

While we were gone this weekend the marines and the children made a flower bed for me.

A few weeks ago George and I were sitting on the porch swing and I told her that I had always wanted a rose garden. So this weekend everyone made me a rose garden. I was just so thrilled that they took the time to do this for me. I have such awesome children!

I do have a lot of little things that I need to get done today. Just the usual Monday stuff, nothing to exciting.

I am going to break down and go chop down all of the "weeds" before the city comes back to inspect. I do hope that they were an eye sore for the lady that reported us.

A friend gave me some bulbs so I am going to try to get them planted, but we have been having record breaking heat so I am not sure.

I got a call over the weekend and Nikki and her team arrived and they were all doing good. I should not hear anything else until the arrive back here in the states.

Our friends that live in Iowa called yesterday and they want Amber to come out for a few weeks. Amber is thinking about going out there. Amber is still working at the same little pizza joint and they have really cut her hours, so she is not making that much money. Amber so wants a new job. We are going to have to sit down and talk about all of this. OH Amber made $200 at her yard sale this weekend! I am so proud of her for doing it with out me pushing her. We figured it up and she will need to make $244 a month so that she can pay for her trip.

One of the kittens that I was doing foster care for is back. The kittens were still to young to get fixed so we brought Fluffy back here so that he could grow a little bit more. The other kitten is in foster care with the lady that is going to adopt her. I am just so happy that they survived.

Well enough about my boring life. It is time for me to get moving. If it gets to hot today I think I am going to go to the lake and worship the sun god.



Sunday, June 17, 2007

I am home

Well, we made it back home, and I am so glad to be home!

Well, as you can see from the pictures Rusty got me some earrings for my birthday. I love silver and dragonflies. So Rusty found some silver dragonfly earrings. The wings are Amethyst and the body has diamonds. They are perfect.

Yes, I finally got to go rock climbing. I must tell you that my ass is not that big. Those are not good pictures of me! That is o.k. because I had a blast rock climbing. Oh I also got to repel. That was fun. Then I lost my footing and was spinning on a little rope high above the ground. The guys on the ground had eyes as big as saucers, and I was just laughing. I thought that was cool!

I would just like to say to everyone out there who might think that 37 is old..... you are so wrong. I am 37 and I am ready to conquer the world. To everyone including my husband who thinks that all vegans are these weak little people..... you are wrong. And yes Rusty and I had that conversation over the weekend!

After we were done rock climbing I asked the guys to take me back to where Rusty was. Rusty was in the middle of a bunch of guys just working his ass off. Then he saw me walking up. Rusty's eyes lit up and he just smiled. That meant the world to me. It is nice to know that just the sight of me can still bring a smile to his face.

I am so happy to be home. I just want to sleep in my own bed.

OH and yes I will do rock climbing again. That was so much fun and it is an awesome work out.

Saturday, June 16, 2007

a quick up date

Well, we made it to 29 Palms on Friday. Man it is so great out here. Rusty still will not let us move out here.

Rusty is for work, so yesterday I hung out with him. It was a good thing that I did. Rusty is sick again and the tent sale was a huge success! They sold $34,000 worth of gear yesterday.

We did have record breaking here yesterday. We hit a high of 110 degrees. I did not think that it felt that bad. The only thing that I did not like was the fact that the wind was blowing so much that the sand and gravel would be hitting us.

There is a huge training exercise going on out here. I was shocked at the number of people that I have seen. We have marines from Hawaii and a lot from the east coast. The army is actually here as well. I guess they think they can play with the big boys. There is also an ass load of navy.

Today I am going to go rock climbing. Rusty is not to happy about this. he is worried that I will get hurt, but I am not worried.

Well people are waiting for the computer so I better go. Oh today is my birthday! I am 37.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

finally everyone is gone

 Amber went to see Sam graduate. Nikki and Ryan are at youth group, and Rusty is not home yet. I finally have the house to myself.

I broke down today and turned on the air conditioner. Rusty will be happy. He likes the house so cold that we can hang meat in it. I do not mind the heat, but I did not want him to complain that the house was hot.

For now I put my anger aside. I had to keep my eye on her trip. I think we now have everything. Her bag is packed, and her room is clean.

Amber's Sam is going to take her to the church tomorrow. I asked one of my friends to come over and pray for Nikki. So she will be here about 4. This lady is just a power house in prayer.

Amber said that she did not want to stay with Ryan on Thursday night. I just gave her a look of whatever. Then she explained to me that she was scared to be here by herself. Our friend Beth is going to come spend the night with her.

Rusty said that he has had enough of Amber. When we get back from 29 Palms he is going to take her shooting and teach her how to use a firearm. Then she will be some type of self defense class.

My children often me random questions. Today was one of those days. One of them asked me why I sew quilts for pet. I said why not? Our pets have their quilts and it is better then wasting our scrap material. Then the other one said why did you choose to make animals your cause. That is a good question. I finally said because I want to be their voice and I showed them this video.

I could not add this to my journal, so you will have to click on the link to watch it.

I was asked why I was going to Marshalltown Iowa. Well some of dear friends got transfers there. I miss their triplets so much! Sometimes I really hate the marine corps because they take our friends away. So I am going to visit them in October. I figure the leaves will be changing by then and it won't be to cold. Here is a picture of the triplets.

getting ready to run

I am going to spend today getting ready to head out to the dessert! I so love the desert. We are going back to 29 Palm for the weekend. Rusty has tent sale going on out there and it is my birthday weekend, so I am going to run away with him. I am suppose to go rock climbing this weekend but I have not heard from the guys yet, so if they do not call then I am just going to hang out and do my own thing.

Amber asked me last night how old I was going to be. I very proudly said I will be 37. Then Amber asked me if I felt old. i told her no because I only get better with age.

 It just now hit me. This will be the first year that my dad will not call me and say happy birthday. This will be the first year that I will not call my dad and say happy fathers day, or wish him a happy birthday. My dad was born on June 19, and I was born on June 16.

I once asked Rusty if it gets easier. He said it does except you never stop missing them. Damn it I want my dad. Why couldn't someone on death row die instead of my dad.

Enough. My dad would never let wollow in self pitty. He say you can always someone worse off then you.

I have a call into Nikkis school. I talked to the teacher from last night. Not only was the bus an hour late getting back to the school, but one of the other children's mom was in a car accident. The dad sat there waiting for an hour while his wife was in the e.r. All of the other parents have said that they want everyone to go easy on the children.

I just got back from Nikki's school. They only gave her a 1 day suspension! And that was today! They said that if the suspended here for the whole 5 days that she would be dropped from school. My exact words were " You are so full of shit. It is apublic school and you HAVE to educate her. This is why the schools have the problems that they do.You guys never follow through with anything. Nikki get your ass in the car." I slammed the door behind me.

Oh I so need a happy place right now. If I was a drinker then I would be drunk right now.


Tuesday, June 12, 2007

school of hard knocks

 Mind games are great. The only sad thing is... well my children have not learned how to play them yet.

Nikki has been giving me attitude all day. The sad thing is she is up at Disney! So yes I am getting attitude over the phone. We started argue about what time she needs to be home. Nikki still needs to clean her room and pack for her trip. Then it hit me. I am arguing with a 15 year old! I very calmly said " Nikki you are so good at running your life. I think that you should do whatever you want to do. If your room is not cleaned when you leave then I will just throw everything away. So anything that is not in your dresser or on a hanger will be thrown away. I hope you have a great time at Disney"

Then I get a call from Nikki's teacher. She was late getting to the bus to leave disney. So her and a group of kids are going to be suspended for 5 days at the start of the next school year. I told the teacher who by the way is a former marine. Anyway I told the teacher to pull the bus over and kick the shit out of Nikki. He said that he could not do that, I told him that I gave him my permission.

First thing in the morning I am going to go down to Nikki's school and make sure that her suspension sticks. I am hoping for an in school suspension, but if it is not then Rusty said that Nikki would be going to work with him. Nikki will get the great pleasure of spending the first week of high school on suspension. Oh that is right. My give a damn button is broken.

Rusty and I have also decided that she will be getting a job when she gets back from her grandmothers. That will put a damper on her social life and give her an attitude adjustment.

I guess every teenager needs to get a degree from the school ofhard knocks.

I asked Rusty if his dad played game or just beat his ass. He just said yes. My parents did both.

Other then that today went very well. So I think I am going to go have angry sex with Rusty.

Oh Nikki is the one in red.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Where are my bon bons?!

I do not know what is up with aohell. I cannot get to my e mail tonight and where have all of my comments gone? Hmmm

Anyway on to today's entry.

Last night I was just so worn out. I did not want to cook dinner or do anything. So I made Ryan something simple for dinner. Then Rusty comes into the kitchen and says that he does not feel good. He was burning up with fever.

Rusty requested something to eat, so I made it for him and then he went to lay down. I gave him some Tylenol and I kept placing cold towels on him in hopes that his fever would break. Once he got to sleep I walked through the house and turned off all of the lights and headed for a bath.

I sank into a nice bubble bath and said "o.k. Lord please show me how to stretch my last $50 to cover everything that I still need to buy". Then I went to bed.

I got up this morning had to hit the ground running. I got the kittens up and fed, got dressed and started loading up the car for the trip down to base.

Then I took a chance and called the bank and asked to speak to the branch manager. I finally got our funds released except the actually amount that the irs wants. Yes, finally I caught a break.

I called Rusty to tell him the good news and he told me to pull all of the money out of the accounts. Right..... that was not going to happen. I would be leaving the bank with a large brown bag. Now if that does not scream rob me I do not know what does! I only took out $400.

I headed down to base. I had to stop and pick up a girlfriend, she is going to adopt one of the kittens. Then we went to the shelter. I was so sad to be giving the kittens back, but I know that they are going to good home. While I was down there I volunteered to help rescue animals. Then I volunteered my friend! We are going to Thelma and Louise. We will be going into high kill shelters and getting their animals on death row.

I left base and I had to start running around getting the last of Nikkis stuff together for her trip. I now have a mental list going. Wal mart, Avon store, and the post office to mail in the last of her money. Oh shit, I forgot that Ryan had a field trip today, so I will also need to pick him up. Now I am on a short time schedule.

Nikki calls me and asks me to call her school and have someone added to her pick up list. O.K. I am a talented mom, however I can't drive, smoke, write and talk all at the same time. So I called Amber had her act like she was me and had her get all of this done for me.

O.K. I am running late. I have time to get a money order, and then go to the post office. I also managed to squeeze in some time to go to the Avon store. Then it was off to get Ryan.

Got Ryan and headed off to wal mart. Then my phone rings. It is the group leader for Nikki's trip. She sounded so stressed out. I am also frantic because I have a lot to do. I very calmly say " What can I do to make your day go smoother?" So she tells me and it was nothing major, so I was able to help her.

I finally get to wal mart and I am on a mission. I swear if one person got in my way I was going to run them over! I finally got everything and I decided to head back to fabric section to take a quick look. I bent down to look at something and I stood up I almost passed out. Oh shit! I had not eaten yet today. I make a bee line to check out and then to McDonalds for something to eat.

I have food and all of my running around done. I now have to jump on the Nikki roller coaster. Tonight is Nikki's 8th grade dinner dance. I had to hurry up and get home so I could help her do her hair, and make up, and then get dressed.

Our friend CJ was going with Nikki to the dance. Not as a date but as a chaperone. Anyway, CJ shows up and he jumps into the shower. I now have only 30 minutes to finish getting Nikki ready and to get CJ into his blues.

There was another girls at the dance that had the same dress as Nikki, but I just told her "You have a marine and that make you look better then anyone"

I somehow made that deadline. Oh crap Rusty is now on his way home from work, and I have nothing ready for dinner. Hmmm, I jumped back into the car and headed to kfc. There is nothing that screams I love like dinner from a bucket.

I cleaned up around the house a little bit and then I just ran out of steam. I to tired to upload pictures. I am to tired to care if my house is a mess. I am just tired.

Here are some side notes. Yes I forgot to take pictures of all the pet quilts I dropped off today. Amber went and bought Nikki some clothes for her trip....with her own money, and Rusty was shock that I spent $300 and did not really have much to show for it.

Good night all.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

where corn don't grow

Where Corn Don't Grow Travis Tritt

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I was having a conversation with Dustin, one of the marine. I knew that he was straight off the farm, but that was about all I really knew about him.

Once we got to talking this song popped in to my head. "were corn don't grow". I can remember as a teenager wanting out of the corn fields. I want to be anywhere but there.

I kept listening to this song. Then my dad said " you need to listen to the end of the song, hard times will follow you". Boy, was he right.

I sat here this afternoon wondering how different my life would be if I had stayed where I grew up. Would I have ended up working in steel mill, or buying that little farm house that I use to like. Who would I have settled down with, and how different would my life be today? I guess I will never know.

Do I regret running from there as fast as I could? Sometimes. Sometimes I wish I would have stayed closer so that I could have been around more before my dad died. I do miss seeing a thunder storm roll across the sky. I really miss seeing the leaves change colors in the fall.

However if I had stayed I would not have the wonderful children that I have today. I would have never met Rusty, or done a lot of the cool things that I have done.

I have learned one thing. You can never go home. My home is here in southern California. That place in Illinois, well that is where my parents live.

I was also talking to CJ over the weekend and I said " you know you have come a long way since I first met you". CJ just looked at me and finally said " what are you talking about"

I said " CJ when I first met you, you were very uptight. You about jumped out of your skin and you spilt your beer when I grabbed your ass.  Now you are out skinny dipping" Side note.... CJ was in uniform and his ass just looked so good! Cj said " Yes I am finally staring to let go and starting to enjoy life". I was so happy to hear that!

I have a very busy week a head of me. I am going to try like hell to get some stuff done tonight so that tomorrow morning will go a little smoother.

As for some of the comments about me skinny dipping. No I do not have a perfect body, but I do not care. This is me flaws and all. I would love to go skinny dipping in the dead sea. The dead sea is on my list of things to see before I die.

OH I almost forgot. Dustin took me for a ride on his Harley and George said that I looked on the back of his bike. You know I have been told that before. I think my new accessory should be a Harley.




Saturday, June 9, 2007

skinny dipping



Last night started out so calm. Kevin showed up and offered to buy Ryan and I dinner. So we went.

I got home everyone was here ready to start their weekend. I however was on a mission to finish one of those tie blankets. I was only making some small one for the pets, but I wanted to finish them. So I grabbed my stuff and went and sat on the porch swing.

George comes out and say " what are you doing mom" and sits down. Now George is not her real name. We call her George because her real name is Nikki and we have a Nikki already. So, I show her what I am doing and she starts helping me. Then she says "I can do this" So off to wal mart we went and last night she made her own rag tied quilt. George was so proud of herself and I was so proud of her. When George was almost done  she asked everyone to come tie one so that way everyone could say that they helped!

Then the night went on and somehow the conversation turned and I suggest we go down to the lake and go skinny dipping.

So we all got naked and headed out to the cars. Then it hit us. There were only two sober people. So we ended up putting one person in the trunk! That was so funny, especially sine he is on of the tallest guys here.

Then I discover that the car I driving has no radio. So I told every to start singing. Well that did not turn out how I expected since all of the drunks were singing different songs. Then they finally found one that they all knew.... amazing grace. No I thought that was wrong on so many levels. A bunch of drunks heading to the lake to go skinny dipping and they were singing amazing grace?

So we all get down to the lake and all you see is a blur of white asses heading into the lake. I did take the cameras but Rusty did not want us to take any pictures.

George was the first one to fall asleep so she got drawn on, but since she was still naked there are no pictures of that.

I just realized that I have to add skinny dipping to my list of first. I have skinny dipped before but never in our lake.

Today I am going to try to clean up a little and then who knows. We take our days as they come around here. I like it that way.

I like having a house full of people. I like having good friends. I love my life.

OH CJ and Beth were so nice and they brought me a carton of smokes! We are still working on getting the money released and we need it done soon. I have to finish paying off Nikki's trip. It is only 104 dollars, but I do not have that as any pocket change. I know that somehow, someway, it will get paid by Wednesday.




Friday, June 8, 2007

our closet is done

I cleaned out the closet and I am still here to talk about it. That is amazing! I started pulling boxes off the top shelf. I thought I have no idea what is even these boxes, so should I just pitch them? One box had a bunch of nice lady suits in it. Won't be needing those. So I threw that box out the door. The rest of the boxes were all Rusty's stuff. I asked him to go through them, but he just said that he wanted all of it. How can you tell you have even touched this stuff in two years! No sense in arguing, they went back into the closet.

I sorted through more of my clothes and got rid of another lawn and leaf bag full of stuff. Then it was on to sorting out my shoes. I have this huge box that I just throw all of them into. I dumped that on the floor. Anything that I did not wear last winter got pitched. Then I actually sorted the shoes by summer and winter. I figure this way it will be easier to get rid of them at the end of the season. Lets face it, if I did not wear them this summer then I do not need them.

Am I the only one with the black hole of a closet? Am I the only one who has a pack rat for a husband?

We finally got a letter from the irs and our bank. the irs is only suppose to hold x amount of dollars. So now Rusty is pissed. He was on the phone with the bank demanding that they release the rest of our checking, savings, and mutual funds. I however am not stressing it. I guess it is different for a guy. Who Knows.

Amber got her first response from some of the sponsor letters that she has been passing out. Amber was so excited to see the check! I was happy for her. It restored some of her faith.

I have to take Nikki shopping to go get the rest of her stuff for her trip. I need to buy her some sandals, hard candy, and some odds and ends for first aid kit. CJ said that he has a complete first aid kit that she can have, so we just need to add a few things to it. Oh I have to go to the avon store and buy their bug repellant. Then I will be done!

Amber asked Nikki yesterday if she had enough skirts for her trip and Nikki said no. Amber said " Well I get paid on Friday, I will take you down to the good will and buy you some outfits for the trip". I was blown over. That was very nice of Amber.

So, today I am hoping to work on cleaning out the garage. Maybe, if I get up the energy!

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I feel stupid

So Nikki calls me today and asks me to pick her up from school. She is worn out and needs to study for her math final. O.K. why not. Then she says to me "Mom I can't figure this problem out". I look at it and I just felt so stupid. I know that I never did that type of math when I was her age. So to not let her know that I had no clue what was going on I looked at the problem and said " Well baby take the multiple guess answers and start plugging them in until you get one that is right". It worked.

My goal for today was to get the back room cleaned up. I finally got that done. Why do I bother cleaning it when it will be trashed tomorrow? Oh well at least it is clean.

Now I think I am going to go start on a good cleaning of our room. I need to pull everything out of my 1/4 of the closet and get rid of a lot of stuff. As for Rusty's 3/4 well a bomb would make it look better, but what can a wife do?

I would like to get outside and get some yard work done, but I think I am going to let my "weeds" grow until the very last day that I an go. This way the bitch that complained about about "weeds" will have to look at them. I know I should take the high ground and just go cut them but I just don't feel like it.

The kittens have reached two pounds so they will be going back to the shelter on Monday. I will be sad to see them go.

Later on today CJ and I have to go meet a friend at the airport so that we can pick up his car. Other then that I have nothing that I have to do.

Enough about my boring day, I just need to get back to it.

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

bring it on

So here is what happened yesterday. I was having a bad morning because I could not get on the Internet. Then Rusty called

Rusty: hey baby what are you up to?

Me: I am trying to get on the Internet and it is pissing me off

Rusty: Well your day is about to get worse. The IRS just froze our account

Me: what? you have got to be kidding me.

Rusty: no I am not kidding.

Me: O.k. I will call and find out what the hell is going on.

So I called the IRS. They were less then helpful. It turns out that they not only froze our account but also took about $1,000 out of it.

I worked for this military charity a few years ago and according to my pay stub they were taking out taxes. The charity never sent the money to the IRS. We contacted the charity and they said that the accountant that was working there is no longer working there, but that they would correct the situation. That was the last I heard about it until yesterday.

I still do not know why they froze everything. And the irs can't tell me why they froze everything.

I was pissed, but I am not anymore.

A good friend called me and I told her what happened and she just laughed and said  " you have 85 until next Wednesday? Hell I have seen you go a lot longer with a lot less!"

She was right. All of our bills are paid, and we have food. I have gone longer with a lot less, so why was I stressing out over it?

Now I am laughing! Bring it on IRS. You can't get me down!

Just for the record everything will be unfrozen in 21 days. Whatever! We will be fine so the IRS can kiss my ass.

CJ has been building a cat tree for me. This thing is going to be huge and I can't wait for it to be done. I just know that the big cats will be so happy.

Rusty got the stomach flu yesterday. He was just so kind to share all of his food with us.

Then Amber's boyfriend was driving Rusty's truck and some pressure hoses for the power steering burst. Sam was worried about it, but I just said well life happens.

This morning Rusty and CJ got the hoses fixed and Rusty is no longer barfing.

I am going to go work on my cat tree, and then when I done with that I am going to go act like live in Mayberry. I am going to go sit on the porch swing and sew.

Tuesday, June 5, 2007

a lot going on

I got some really bad news this morning. I just can't talk about it right now. Not until we work everything out. However I will share the news in the future, so that someone else might learn from what I am going through.

Last night was just filled with blessings. I went and picked up some stuff that someone else was giving away. Then the lady asked me if I would like any of the other stuff. Amber and I just looked at each other. These people had a garage full of stuff. This will really help Amber out as she has been trying to gather stuff for another yard sale.

Nikki's mission trip leader called me and told me that the church gave her $250 for her trip and that she also raised another $50! Cool, that means that Nikki only needs to raise $174 more. Not a problem.

Then this morning we had a meeting at Ryan's school. We got everything that we wanted! I am so happy for Ryan. If Rusty and I do not fight for what is best for him, then no one will.

My mom actually e mailed Rusty and asked him what I would like for my birthday. That is a good question. My mom said that she did not want to send a gift card, but with her living so far away... Anyway, I have been wanting to go kayaking, so I am going to do some research and see if she might be able to get me a gift card to go kayaking.

Nikki is coming home today! I can't wait to see her. I know that she had a blast up in Oregon. Oh! Nikki was in LaGrand, I guess that is in eastern Oregon.

So I should be doing the usual house hold stuff, but I did not get to bed until late, and I hade to get up early, so I just have no energy. Blah


Monday, June 4, 2007

feeling good

Whatever bug got a hold of me is now gone! That was a nasty bug and I hope no one else gets it.

As you can see from the pictures we had a typical weekend here. Do you like our floor painting? Someone got Amber some sidewalk chalk and paint. Then Amber remembered that we have cement floors. I told her that they could only draw on the floors as long as they made body outlines. Oh the joys of living with our family!

The guy that is a markered up was the first one to pass out. So everyone had fun with him. I am glad that he has a sense of humor. He did not like the fact that we wrote usmc all over his leg..... but then again he is a sailor. LOL

I finally convinced two of the marines to go get the kitten weighed. They are not two pounds yet so I am going to keep them one more week.

Sunday I went and got my poarch swing! I am so happy with it. So beth and i go up to Lowes and I find the swing that I want and it is on sale! i just love a sale. However we could not find a cart to put this huge box in. So finally get it paid for and we are heading out the door when we spot a dolly. So we throw the swing on the dolly and off to the truck we go. We get the swing loaded and then we look at the dolly and load it up as well.

We get back and Rusty says, well let me see this swing and walks out to the truck. He grips the side of the truck and just shakes his head. He can't believe that we brought the dolly home! I am not allowed to play with Beth any more.

I tried loading the pictures of the swing, but they would not load, so I will try tomorrow. Our house is trashed and I really need to get busy cleaning it up. I slept in until 10 a.m. and now I feel so far behind.

Sunday, June 3, 2007

feeling better

Just a quick note. Note Amber did not toast a dog for me! O.K. I did not use spell check!b LOL  Rusty has said that dog was good, so hey.....

I am feeling much better and I have a lot of stuff to say.

I will write more in the morning!

Friday, June 1, 2007

amber is 17

Amber is 17 today! I cannot believe it. it does not seem all that long ago. I was living in Hawaii when i had her. Amber was born was crash c section and she was blue. I did not find out until the next day that she was also born with group b strep. It is a miracle that she is still here.

Amber opened her gift from us last night. We got her a gift card so that she could go buy her class ring. Amber was so happy!

Last night Kevin and I went to wal mart to get the gift card and there was this big bin of jumbo size candy. I made Kevin help me dig through this bin until I found lemon heads. Then I wrote I love you all over the box and placed the box of candy on Rusty's steering wheel. I do not remember the whole story behind the lemon heads, but I had sent him a care package and in side were some lemon heads. Rusty told me that they brought back a childhood memory.

So yesterday I thought I would surprise him. Kevin thought I was crazy, but I know it is the little things in life that mean the most.

Last night I got hit with some type of bug. My stomach is so cramped up. I could get nothing to come up. I laid on the bed just wishing I vomit. At least then I would have a reason to have these cramps. I finally took some gas pills and a strong pain killer. That lasted for two hours. I feel like shit. My stomach hurts. It hurts to sit, stand, or lay.

We were all suppose to go to the beach today but that is not happening now. I told Amber that her and Sam could still go. I however am going back to bed. This sucks.

Oh crap I still have to make Ambers birthday cake. I will do that this afternoon. Right now some pain killers and my bed are calling to me. Amber just toasted a beagle and that smell is turning my stomach.