Friday, March 31, 2006

my husband

I have the most wonderful husband in the world!

Last night I talked to my parents and offered to fly them out here for Ambers sweet 16 party. Rusty was so jazzed that I came up with that idea. I told Rusty that if they come out we will have to do rearranging to help my dad. Rusty said that he does not care and that he will do whatever needs to be done!

I must have done something right to deserve such a great man!

Work is turning into a nightmare! I just keep telling myself only 6 more weeks left and then I am so out of there!

Well not to much else is going on, so I am going to go clean.

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

never a dull moment

So, when you live in California you can never know what to expect. My dad calls us the land of fruits and nuts and sometimes I think he is right!

For those of you who do not know what is going on here let me fill you in. There is a bill in the Senate that would make you a felon if you are in America ILLEGALLY! Go figure, since you are braking the law. Anyway since this bill looks like it is going to pass, all of the children of ILLGALL'S are walking out of schools and protesting on school grounds!

Now if that is not saying here I am come get us I don't know what is. Our 13 year old was forced to go to a rally to support these children. We are so pissed off!

The high school students are jumping fences and running out onto the freeway's! These children are so stupid.

I swear I just want to scream! Then we get this phone call from the school. ( a recorded message) Telling all of us parents that we should talk to our children about this issue. So now I am super pissed.

I did talk to our children and here is what I said. " o.k. girls here is the deal. I do not support the walk outs and I do not support Illegal. My grandparents had to come to this country LEGALLY. On my mom's side, who is 1/2 native American, has been here forever. If these people cannot come here the right way then they need to leave. If I find out that you went to a rally to support these these people then I will kick your ass. Is that clear?" The girls got the message.

Then Nikki tells me that they were locked in the lower field for an hour! What? it was wet and raining off and on all day. Then we get another recorded message from the school saying there was a bomb threat at the school. What the hell is going on here?

o.k. I am off my soap box now.

I think that I am going to do some sewing today and I don't know what else. I just do not feel like doing much.

Yesterday I did a good clean out on the house. I got rid of the games that the children to do not play, all of the puzzles that I have done, and most of all, I got rid of a ton of just crap.

I think our stuff just breeds and it never breeds into anything good! LOL

I did find Rick and Leslies flags yesterday. I had put them up so that they would not get ruined. I need to go get some flag boxes so that we can display them and keep them from getting ruined.

I hope everyone has a good day!

Tuesday, March 28, 2006


Well, I made it through two days of work. I offered to take some extra hours, since Ryans glasses broke. The things we parents do for our children! LOL Now don't get me wrong, I could just go take the money out savings, but I would rather not do that.

My goal is to go back and visit my father around fathers day. If for some reason that date does not work then, I will have to pick a new date.

One of my co workers is a breast cancer survivor and she asked me to walk in the walk for a cure. I just might do that. I do know that I am going to buy a candle and have my dads name put on it.

The girls have been in rare form for the last week. We have suddenly become the most stupid people on the planet. Well even more then before. I do see us coming to blows, but I am trying real hard for that not to happen. Every time something negative or mean comes out of their mouth I say something positive and nice back to them. That usually shuts them up.

Well it is back to my day. I have some cleaning to do and then I am going to do nothing for the rest of the day.

Sunday, March 26, 2006

bike riding

Rusty and I went for a bike ride this morning. I am just so happy that the weather is now nice again. I was really starting to miss our bike rides.

Rusty said that his fat boy jeans are now getting big on him, but he still is not back to pre heart attack weight. I know it will happen for him, we just need to moving and the weight will come off.

Yesterday I took Nikki shopping for some summer skirts and we found none. I did however find some clothes for Ryan.

Finding clothes that actually fit Ryan is very hard. He is just so small for his age and so damn skinny.

Any way there is not to much else going on here.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Saturday, March 25, 2006

no book

Well I did try to read a book yesterday! I just had to much energy for that! So instead I watered the grass real good and pulled weeds in the flower beds. I will be planting new flowers soon and I cant wait to get started on that!

Last night we went and watched Amber danced. She did awesome. I am glad that she has found something to do!

Ryan has a game this morning. I love watching the little guys play ball. They play with so much heart and they are just out there having a good time.

We are suppose to have some friends over for dinner tonight. The last time I spoke with them, they had same nasty cold at their house. So I really hope that they do still come over.

Today I am going to watch Ryan's game and try to do some stuff around here. If the weather is nice I know that the sunshine will drag me outside! Maybe the sun shine will drag me to the store to start buying some flowers. LOL

I hope everyone has an  awesome day!

Friday, March 24, 2006

nice day

Well the is shinning and I am feeling so much better. I am looking around the house at everything that I should be doing.

I think I am just going to leave it. It will be there in a few hours. I am going to go take a book and go sit in the sun! Thats right everyone I am going to take some me time!

I will talk to everyone later on. I think everyone should go enjoy the sunshine!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

still sick

My cold is still hanging on. I am going to beat this cold! I refuse to be sick. lol

Rusty is meeting with Ambers teachers this morning. I am telling everyone now that if you have a child going to school in California beware! The system sucks the older the children get. The high school exit exam is set at an 8th grade level and most of the children in high school can not pass it.

Tomorrow I am going to go shopping and start getting ready for the extra children. I do not usually have a lot of snack food, but I am going to stock up on it!

I am just so thrilled that our friend trust us enough to leave their children here and that we can spoil them and then send them home.

I have to work today so I should go finish getting ready and do some stuff around here.

I hope everyone has a great day!

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

full house


Our friend called us today and asked us to keep his children for 3 days. So we are. I must be crazy! There will be six children in the house! Let's see....15, 13, 11, 6 (twins), and a 5 year old.

I think it will be safe to say that I will be very busy, but that is o.k. because that is what friends are for.

Yesterday I started feeling really bad. I think I caught the cold that Rusty and nikki had. It sucks!

So I think I am going to go curl up with my knitting and do as little as I can.

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

ryans birthday

     Ryan's birthday was yesterday and he turned 11! For Ryans birthday we went down to base and played with the guns. The military has these new computer games where you can shoot the weapon at a screen. Let's see we shot an m16, a pistol, ma duce, and something else.

All of the children had a great time. I must say that I have new found respect for our service members who have to carry those weapons, because some of those weapons are heavy!

Ryans favorite one to shot was the m16, Nikki and Amber liked the pistols, and liked the ma duce.

Ryan wore his cammies down to base so one of our friends promoted him to major. Ryan is so proud of his major leaves.

I am so starting to get a cold. I can feel it in my chest and in my ears. This crazy weather is starting to really get to me. I cannot afford to be sick right now.

Now I must go clean up from yesterday.

Sunday, March 19, 2006

so blessed

I am just so glad that went to the spaghetti dinner fund raiser!

We spent the evening meeting some awesome people and meeting the other children that are going on this mission trip.

These children are so awesome. They did an awesome job last night as well.

As I was sitting there listening to a Jazz group play a few songs, I thought " man what a talented group of young people! These are the kind of people I want my children hanging out with" Then it hit me.... these are the type of people that the girls are hanging out with.

I will never again complain about running them around or about spending so much time with the youth group. At least the girls are hanging out with people who have character, and they are not in a gang running the streets. For that I am truly blessed!

I have no idea what I am doing up so early. I got to bed late last night, and I know that I will be working late to night. Oh well.

I am going to go work on knitting another scarf.

Saturday, March 18, 2006

busy day

While I would love to be soaking in a nice bubble bath and just relaxing, I am instead running children all around.

This Morning Ryan had his first baseball game of the spring season. I am so happy that we have the challenged league! All of the children have some type of disability, so they are all equal.

Then Nikki had to be up at the church early so that she could help set up for the spaghetti dinner/ fundraiser they are having tonight.

I will have to run Amber up there in a little while so that she can help do some other stuff. Then we are off to go have dinner.

I am so glad that the youth group is doing a lot of fundraiser to help pay for this trip!

Anyway I need to get moving and get some stuff done around here before we have to go have dinner.

Friday, March 17, 2006


Good morning and happy St. Patrick day everyone! I must admit that I am not a very good Irish person. I do not like beer, potatoes, or corn beef. My family says that I make a great shepherds pie, but since it has meet in it I wont eat it. I will however wear some green today.

My great grand parent tried to immigrate to America, but they were turned away at Ellis Island, so they went to Canada. My Grandmother was a girl when this happened and she said that it felt so bad to be rejected. Any way, my grandmother got married and his job transferred him to the states. My father is only the first generation u.s. citizen.

With that little bit of family history out of the way. Rusty is going to go out do a lot of running around today. He still needs to go get Ryan some Birthday gifts. Then he is going to go get one of those huge calendar dry erase boards. We can't keep up with everyone, so we are hoping this will help. Everyone will get a different color marker and the girls will have to write all of their activities down, so that we will know where everyone is suppose to be. I do hope that this will help.

I am not going to do to much today. I am thinking about getting dressed, but that is all I have done is think about it.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

just working

Here is wishing everyone the luck of the Irish! I must say that now would be a good time to be in Chicago. Chicago does a big party every year. They even turn the river green for a day! LOL

Well, I so totally goofed. I was suppose to donate a baby basket for a silent auction. I was thinking that I had a few weeks, but I was wrong....I have two days! So I am so glad that I got the quilt done at least. I am going to run out today and get some more stuff.

My hours at work have been extended so I am now working 12 -14 hour days. It is not so bad, except that it really cuts into my day. I would rather work longer hours at night.

Well I got the dogs moved and they were just so pretty! I need to start bringing a camera so that I can take pictures of all of these animals. I am just so glad that they don't all live here! Rascle and butter keep my busy most days.

I will chat with everyone later.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

moving dogs

I can't believe that I actually up and moving this early. Today I am going to move 2 dogs. Some breeder just dumped them at the pound so I am going to go take them to their new foster mom. I am just glad that I can still help in some small way.

I have to take the dogs down near Base, and I wanted Rusty to go with me, but we could not find anyone to keep Ryan. We really need to get Ryan a few more birthday gifts but we are just having a hard time finding anything that he might actually like.

The only thing Ryan plays with are his jets. Ryan has a computer, a game boy and a host of other high tech toys, but all he wants are jets!

I often hear about autistic children focusing one thing, and for Ryan it is jets. Ryan says that he is going to grow up and fly jets, and Rusty and I just bite our lips.

Anyway, we were able to find some jets that he did not have and I sewed up a blanket with jets on it, so now we are just need to get him something from the girls.

Well I better get moving if I want to get the shelter on time.

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

cleaning lady?

So as I sit here staring at the computer screen I realize that the cleaning lady did not come in last night! Oh thats right, I am the cleaning lady. LOL

We have some nice weather so I am trying to be outside as much as I can. Last week we had a huge winter storm come through and we are suppose to have another one this weekend!

Anyway, I think I have figured out what we are doing for all of the children's birthday's this year. Amber will be having a big sweet 16 party. Nikki is going to go drive a race car. And finally Ryan is going to go play this shoot em up video game that our troops use to train on. Actually all of the children will be doing everything. I don't really believe in "birthday parties". By the time I buy everything for the party, we could have gone and done some really cool stuff.

Let's see...... today I am going to go walk the dogs. We got butter a training collar so he is now walking very well. I want to go work in the flower beds so that I can get ready for spring.

I got a letter from my mom last night. She sent me a picture of her and my dad that was taken while they were on vacation. My dad looks so bad! She also sent us a check to go buy something for Ryan for his birthday. Rusty said that he is going to shred the check since we told my mom not to send us any money.

I really need to get busy, So I am going to go sit in the sun and chill for  while.

     Here is the link to that race car place.... if you want to check it out!

Monday, March 13, 2006

some people

Well I had to work last night. We usually get a good mix of people that come in, but last night just pissed me off! This new gal comes into the office and she brings her husband and baby with her. Well five hours latter the baby is very upset. So when I got my dinner I went out to find the parents. I was going to offer the baby some French fries, and another lady I worked with was also going to give this little some food. Anyway I go out there and the mother is in the office with our boss, and the dad is outside smoking ! They just left this 1 year old in a room full of strangers! So I go to pick him up and he is just soaked! I take him back into our office and fed this little guy some dinner. This little guy was so dirty that it was gross! He actually had fuzz stuck to his face! so we got him cleaned up. Then when he was done eating I went back out and his dad was still outside! So I grabbed a diaper, some wipes and the powder, and asked his dad to come in. I handed him everything and told him that his son needs to have his diaper changed. The dad goes and changes the diaper and then say to me. "unless he can pee from the chest down it was just water!" I said " well I few YOUR son dinner, got him cleaned up and I felt his diaper. It needed to be changed no matter what was in it" I am telling you if I see these parents in public I am going to kick the shit out of them!

Petitions are really picking up, so I am going to hit it hard for the next few weeks. I am hoping to make enough to put the girls over the top, and put some away for the bathroom.

So anyway, there is not much going on here so I am going to get started on my day.

Saturday, March 11, 2006

good morning

Well good morning everyone. I think today is going to be a good day even if it is cold and rainy!

Last night we went to thing at Amber's school. We got to see Amber dance and eat some dinner. Then they gave swing dancing lessons. Amber was very mad that Rusty and I would not get out there and take lessons. Then when it was finally time to dance Rusty and I got out there and showed those children a thing or two! We have been swing dancing long before they were born.

I think today we are going to take the children to see a movie. I want to see eight below. That looks like a good movie.

I have just finished using the crest white strips and they work so good! Now I am trying this stuff called boxtox in a pen. No there is not botox in it, but if it will help remove some of my wrinkles then I will be happy. I don't know why but for some reason I have been really noticing all of my flaws! I will have to let everyone know how it works.

Butter is settling in, and I think he is happy to finally have a home.

I going to go get started on the house work. I hope everyone has a great day!

By the way, this looks just like one of our cats.

Wednesday, March 8, 2006

good day

So Rusty and I went and did some running around today. It was then that I realized that I am not angry anymore. I am still a little disappointed that other people did not tell me, but there is nothing I can do about that now.

Rusty told me last night that he wanted to adopt butter. So we now have a new edition to our family! Butter is just so perfect.

I will no longer be able to do foster care, because we just could not handle three dogs! So instead Rusty and I are going to help transport the dogs from the shelter to their new foster home. We are also going to help out by posting pictures on the web.

I am going to spend the rest of the day cleaning and doing nothing! It feels good not to cry and to not be angry.

Tuesday, March 7, 2006


I did not get much sleep last night. The girls took the news hard and Nikki refused to even speak to my mother.

Life is unfair, but then again no one ever said it was. I am still angry at my mother and sister. I need to let this anger go. I know that if I do not it will slowly eat me away.

So I am going to try to move on today and just deal with the life that is before me.

Monday, March 6, 2006

my irish eyes


My Irish eyes are not smiling right now. My mom called today to tell me that my dad is dyeing.

I knew when the phone rang that something was wrong. I just had that feeling. Then when I heard my mom's voice I really knew.

My dad has been sick for a long time. That much I knew. He has a bacteria that is eating his lungs and they have not been able to cure it. His cancer is also back.

My mom said that my dad told her not to tell me because I have a family and that he does not want me to worry. I am so mad and I told my mom that! That is MY father and I have a right to know. That is MY father and I want to be there for him!

My mom just kept asking me to not be mad at her. She was just doing what my dad wanted. I am still mad.

Tomorrow my dad goes in for a transfusion. There is one last drug they can try, but my father does not want try it and my mom is not sure that she wants him to either. My dad is giving up.

According to my mom the house now looks like a hospital room. I.V. poles everywhere, oxygen in use at all time and machines to help beet his chest so that his lungs work better.

My mom is not sure when hospice will be coming in. My dad is starting to loose control of his body function. My dad is dyeing.

I so want to jump on an airplane and go to him. However my mother asked me to wait until after this week. Once hospice does come in I will go home and spend some time with my dad before he dies. Then of coarse we will all go out when he dies.

When my mom called she asked me where Rusty was. I so knew that something was wrong. I called Rusty and asked him to come right away. With in a few min. Rusty was at my side.

Rusty says that I am so lucky. I am lucky that I will have the opportunity to say good bye. Rusty says that I should be grateful for that. I guess he would know.

My mom just cried. She is so worn down from watching my dad slowly die right before her eyes. I told her that I would come out and help her, but my dad does not want that.

Why does my dad not want me there? He says that I need to be with my family. This house will not crumble if I am not here. I so want to rush back to Chicago just so I can give everyone a hug. Instead I am sitting here.

Rusty took the girls out to get their pass port pictures done. Then after dinner I have to tell the girls. I so hope that Rusty's shoulders are strong. Tonight is going to be a bad night.

Everyone says that my dad has about six months left to live. I am so sad and so mad, and my Irish eyes that are usually so filled with life are now filled with storm clouds.

When I was growing up my dad use to play the song cats in the cradle. Then one day my dad called and I could not talk because one of the girls was sick. Man my life has turned out just like the song. Except this time there will be no good times when I go home.

For as long as I could remember I knew that I would leave Chicago. I never wanted to live there. I knew that I did not want raise my children there. I wanted sun and sand. That was my choice and now I feel guilty for not living closer to my family. I feel guilty for going on with my life and not calling home enough.

My dad is from a big Irish, Catholic family. In total there are eight children. My mom said that she is only contacting my dads older sister. My father does not talk to any of his other siblings.

I asked Rusty if he thought it was possible for all of the children to put aside their differences and help us lay my father to rest. He did not answer me. I guess the bigger question should be... Can I put my anger away and not be mad at mom and sister for not telling me sooner.

I am going to go put the kettle on and make myself some tea. I really want Rusty to come home so I can just cry on his shoulder.

I also know that life must go on. So.... I will try to start living again tomorrow. Until then please excuse all of my speeling errors and all the words that I am sure I left out! LOL


Sunday, March 5, 2006

slow day

  So this lady calls me yesterday and introduces herself. I am half listening....member of the elks and the v.f.w........ Would you be interested in helping us make some quilts for some veterans. My first answer was sure I will make a few quilts. Then she tells me that they have to be an exact size, have a specific edge and a cretin batting and that I should use clear thread. Oh by the way, you will not get credit for making the quilts, instead all of the ladies at the v.f.w. will get credit for it!

O.K. first of all, if you ask me to make a quilt that is fine, but come on! You want me to use a certain type of thread? And you want me to do all of the work and let everyone else take the credit for it? I think not!

I told Rusty that I would rather make the quilts and deliver them myself.

The girls will be back from camp at some point today. I really hope they had a good time.

There is not to much else going on today. I do have to work this afternoon, so I am going to do as little as possible before then.

I hope that everyone has a great day!

Saturday, March 4, 2006

it rained

Today is nice and sunny and that kinda makes me mad since it rained yesterday! Once again I did not get to see the drill team because of rain. O.K. truth be told I did see them for about 5 min. then they called it because of rain.

Today I am going to go mail some packages and then finish cleaning up and then the rest of the day is mine!!!! My free time.

Lets see.... I am going to do some sewing, and a whole lot of nothing.

Life is good.

Friday, March 3, 2006

just wondering

So Today Rusty asks Amber why she wants to marry a marine. Ambers exact words were " because you make mom so happy".

Well that got me thinking. Which at 2 a.m. is not a good thing.....anyway. So is it Rusty or the marines that make me happy? Well it sure as hell was not the marines.

Has Amber forgotten all of the tears I have cried. The tears I cried every time I saw the flight line at March. The tears I cried when I would send a package. The tears I cried when I would see a marine and want to spit on him! Just because he was here and Rusty was not. What about the tears I have shed when there was no money for Christmas or new shoes. Does Amber not remember picking me up off a gym floor when I got the news that my husband was just ordered into war.....again? What about the tears I cried when rusty had his heart attack and the find out that it the Navy's fault.  The list of all the times I have cried is endless.

So then why did Amber not see these tears? Did I do a good job of hiding my tears, or does she just wish to see the good times?

Rusty is what makes me happy, not the marine corps. Now don't get me wrong I love all of my marines and I sure as hell know every word to the marines hymn, but it is Rusty who make me happy.

Maybe, as a mom, I have finally done something right. I have sheltered my children from my pain.

Anyway, My boss called an office meeting today. We are getting ready to get slammed for the next two months. He said that if we ride this out he will give all of us a $2 an hour bonus at the end of the season! Well hell, I was going to finish out the season anyway, but the extra money will be nice.]

I finally got the tire on the car fixed. We have just been putting it off since we now own three cars! Anyway it was suppose to be as simple as getting a new rim and tire put on. Oh no that would be way to easy! Some damn part was ready to break in half which would have caused me to loose my breaks! I have only been saying that the car has been driving funny for months now,...... I am going to my happy place....... I am so thankful that I blew the tire out and that the problem is now fixed. Once again karma has a grip on my life.

Well Ishould get to be since I have to be up in a few hours.

Thursday, March 2, 2006

what I want

What I want to do is sit here and bitch about being stuck at home all weekend. Friday night the girls leave for winter camp, and Rusty has to host a dinner for some scholarship winners. I would like to go with Rusty, but then there will be no one here to keep Ryan. So I will be stuck at home on a Friday night.

Saturday Rusty is going to be gone all day, so once again it will be just Ryan and I.

No more bitching! I think I am going to take this opportunity to get some sewing done. I need to get Butter a neck scarf made, and then I am going to work on some baby quilts. I am determined to take this time and make it productive.


I have a care package ready to mail to Kevin. This will be the first one, so now the count down has begun. Kevin only has 11 more months to go!

Well I need to get busy and get some things done around here before I leave for work.

Wednesday, March 1, 2006

silent drill team

We had to go to base today and as we entered the gate I noticed that the drill will be performing this Friday!

I took the children to see them last year, but it rained so the drill team did not perform. I am just hoping that the storm that is suppose to hit on Friday will hold off ! I have wanted to see the drill team for so long!

I am just so cold! For some reason I am chilled right down to the bone. I so hate winter.

I think I am going to go snuggle up with a cup of tea.