Saturday, December 31, 2005

so not a good day

 Well today was both good and bad. I got up this morning and I was feeling fine and I was ready to go get everything done. The for some reason my stomach started turning and I was laying on the bed in pain. A little bit of pepto and I was fine. I was fine until we got into the truck and Rusty hit the first bump. I don't know what is wrong, but man I hurt. And let me tell you that moving boxes did not help at all.

For once the weather man was right and it rained. On top of the rain it was windy that trucks were pulling over because they could not deal with the rain! It was an awesome day for moving! NOT.

Anyway we were able to sort through a lot of stuff, and everyone's piles are now marked. Then we were informed that one of Rusty's Aunts is being a royal pain. She is demanding to sleep in my mother in laws old room, and she is demanding to go through all of the stuff and take what is "hers". Well that pissed Rusty off.

We will have to make another trip up there on Tuesday to finish sorting, and hope that this Aunt does not go through everyone's else stuff. Oh the Joy's of family. I thank God that I am not the only one with a messed up family.

One good thing did happen and that was that I got to see a rainbow! I have not seen one of them in a long time.


So here some lessons that I have learned this year. I learned these lessons the hard way, and no they do not teach these lessons in school.

1. Miserable people are just; they are miserable and they want to pull you into under their rain cloud. The best way to deal with them is to smile and say something positive.

2. you can count your friend on one hand.

3. There is life after a heart attack.

4. Relatives come out of the wood work when they want something, but friend are there no matter what.

5. If you stand up for something that you believe in be prepared to be criticized by people who have never stood for anything.

6. Travel whenever you can

7. You are right where you should because of all of the choice you have made. Your life is no one else's fault.


I hope everyone has great new year. I know that we are looking forward to a much better year.

Friday, December 30, 2005

a little time to chill

I think that I need to give up on setting goals of things that I would like to get done. LOL.

So Rusty and I had to take a load of stuff to the dump and we are sitting there waiting for a spot to open up when I notice this mirror in the back of someone's truck. I jumped out and went over and asked the people if I could have the mirror since they were just going to throw it away. So they gave it to me. Can you believe that a worker at the dump told us that we were not allowed to do that! O.K. so you would rather see items go into a land fill instead of being used? I don't get it, but I did get a mirror out of the deal.

Well we get to spend our new years eve going through more of Rusty's mothers stuff. On this trip up we will be going through the clothes. Joy is going to keep a few pieces of clothing and then the rest is for Rusty and I to sort through. We have decided to give the everyday clothes to lady we know who has a daughter with c.p.. Then we are going to keep a few nice outfits to just put away for future generation. The rest we are going to take to the women's shelter. We saw a news paper article a while back and dress clothes was on the list of items that they needed. I am just very glad to see the items go to a good place. I know my mother in law would not mind us doing that.

Happy new year to us. We get to drive for two hours just to load up the truck and come back. To top it all off it is suppose to rain.

We also found out that the ashes are ready to be picked up. So we have to make yet another trip up there since they will be closed on Saturday.

Rusty went out to shoot pool with the guys. I am happy that he has found an out let for his stress. I wish that I could do more for him, but....

I know that the last few days have been really slow around here. Pot is still in the safe, Ambers hole is no longer bleeding and it is healing. Nikki is still trying to believe that little boys are nice, and Ryan? Well he is still in his own little world and does not often stays there.

I will chat with everyone later

up way to early

 I have no idea what is up with me! I actually went to bed before mid night. The first dream I had was where I was wrapping Christmas gift in the living room, and then someone broke in our home through our bedroom window. First of all we do not have a window in our bedroom and second of all Rusty would have pulled a gun on him. Anyway back to the dream. Then the guy told Ryan that if he told him where I was that he would not shoot him. That woke me aright up.

So I finally get back to sleep and I had another really bad dream. I don't remember what that dream was about, but I am up now.

So anyway, My big idea about cleaning the house was just that an idea. I started to run the vacuum, and then discovered that it finally gave up the ghost. So I had to go buy a new one. By the time I did finally get the house vacuumed Rusty came home with a shelving unit for the garage.

So it was off to the garage to start clearing a spot where the shelves were going to go. Well, once I got all of the stuff moved I needed to vacuum out there. One thing lead to another and I ended up cleaning the garage in stead of the house.

I had Rusty help me drag all of my material in the house. I started going through it last night and I need to finish sorting it all out. Once I am done with that I am going to put it on the shelves in the garage. We are going to need all the room we can find in the back room to put more boxes from my mother in laws place.

Well I am off to sort material and I am hoping to get in a good nap today. Sorry there is nothing more exciting to report.

Thursday, December 29, 2005


Well good morning everyone!

Let's see.... Rusty is up and gone for the day, Ryan is playing with one of his many helicopter, And I am still sucking down coffee!

I have a lot that I should do today, but nothing that I want to do. I do need to find out what happened to all the "stuff" that use to be in the living room. We put everything in a box when we put up the Christmas decorations, but now we cant find anything! I think that everything got thrown out. Oh well, less I have to clean!

Talk to everyone later.

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

to cold for me

 Man I am so bummed that it is cold and windy here. Maybe I am just spoiled? No that could not be it!

So anyway I went shopping today I scored some awesome material and some other stuff, so now I can start making Christmas gifts for next year.

So Rusty and I have not had a ying yang moment today! LOL Actually when I got home from shopping he put his arms around me and told me that he missed me. I swear to you that I am married to the most awesome man.

I don't think I mentioned this yet. My dad really liked his Christmas gift. I found this book that he had been looking for, for 15 years! So on Christmas my mom said that when my dad opened it up he just clung it to his chest. At first she could not tell if he was having a heart attack or just happy. He was just happy.

Rusty also talked to my dad on Christmas and he made the comment that my dad does not sound good. Well he is very slowly being eaten away be cancer anbd infections, so how is he suppose to sound? At least he not on oxygen and drugs through an i.v. any more. Any way, Rusty asked me if I wanted to go home and visit my dad. I told Rusty not right now, because it is just not a good time.

Between Christmas, and paying for all of the stuff for his mothers cremation .... well we just need to build up our savings again.

I do hope that I get to see my father before he dies. And when he does die I hope that Rusty has some really strong shoulders because the girls and I are going to need them to lean on.

One thing I have learned with helping Rusty is that I now know what to do. Let me explain. I know how to get a dd214, where to take the form. what the government will and will not pay for.

Maybe I am suppose to be going through this so that I can help someone else get through this. I am sure that I will some how be able to use this knowledge to help others.

Well I need to go make dinner. I am trying to use up all of the stuff in out freezer before we go shopping again. So for the next few nights our dinners will be a little bit strange. Tonight I am frying up one cube steak, some hash browns, I rolled some hotdogs in a crescent rolls. If you have not tried the hot dogs in a crescent roll you have to try them! They are good and children love them!

Just as a side note that I thought of. On the subject of helping people. Can you imagine how many people who could all help if we just did one nice thing everyday for someone that we do not even know? Any way that is just something to think about.

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

I do not understand

So...hmm how do I start? O.K. here it goes. Rusty is so different from me! Today I told him that he was definitely my ying!

Rusty can not understand why I want to finish pulling up the carpet in our sink area? Well maybe because I hate the carpet? The asked Rusty to go buy me some sealer for the cement. Well that went over like a ton of bricks!

Then I told Rusty that I wanted to go look for a new mirror for the hall way bathroom. After going to three stores and not finding anything close to what I was looking for he told me to get in the truck because we were going home.

Then I asked him to go buy some purple metallic paint so that I could finish painting the bird cage. Well you guessed the answer to that. NO!

I just don't understand why he does not seem to like me projects.? LOL

oh well what can I say, I am the one who adds spice to his life.

So my vacuum finally gave up today. I swear to you that I go thro more vacuums than any women I know. I must get a new vacuum every year. Anyway, Rusty comes home and I am using the shop vac. to clean the carpets. Once again he gave me the dear in the head lights look. Well what was I suppose to use? If he would let me get rid of all the carpet we would not have this issue.

I am going to spend the night sewing some simple quilts. We know a lady who said that he church could really use some baby blankets. Well I can sew that! I love doing nice things for other people. It really makes me feel good. I must say that 99% of the time I never see the end results of my kindness, but that is o.k.

Today I must say that I am so glad that Rusty and I are so different. I keep him wondering and he keeps me grounded? Well as much as he can.


what to do?

Man did sleep good last night! So now I am bright eyed and bushy tailed. So what should I do first? Put away the china? Do laundry? sweep and mop? LOL So much energy, but non of this sounds good to me. I want to do something fun!

Well I hope everyone has an awesome morning, I am off to clean something!

Monday, December 26, 2005

everything is done

Well I got all of the Christmas stuff boxed and put away for another year. I usually leave it until new years, but for some reason I just wanted it all put away.

I would like to know who took our sunshine. It was so cold and nasty here today. My gosh it did not get above 60 degrees all day. I live in southern California and I want my warm weather and sunshine! LOL

Rusty has to go to the doctors in the morning. This appointment is for his shoulder. He threw it out when he had his heart attack and it has not worked the same since. There really was not to much that they could do for because he was on blood thinners. So now that he is off the blood thinners the have to try to figure the best to do about it.

I want to try to do some sewing in the morning.

Well I am going to go get in the shower and use all of the hot water before the children can. I know that is mean, but hey They are up until God's know when anyway.


Sunday, December 25, 2005

we made it

This little message is people who think that I should change or ask permission before doing shit that I want to. with that said...

Christmas was so awesome this year. We may have went a little over but hell there is only one Christmas 2005!

Ryan looks so cool in his marine outfit. Ryan said that the chicks will dig him because he is so handsome. Well... o.k. that is true.

Nikki has been lost her room most of the day. Between setting up the computer and loading all of the sim's she has not had much time for anything else. Some how she did find time to watch a video on her personal dvd player. Nikki was so shocked that we got her a new computer. Rusty and I talked about it, and she has worked really hard this year so she deserves it.

Amber got everything tinkerbell! I swear Amber really think that she is tinkerbell. Amber is so happy t she got a new stereo that has a remote. So now she can sit across the room and work the stereo without leaving the computer. I swear she is so lazy. Amber also got her lettermen coat. I am so proud of the way that Amber has turned her life around! I am so proud that she will be lettering in something.

Rusty had an awesome Christmas. He loved the bike that my parents bought him. I have video of Rusty opening his quilt. I thought he was going to cry. I am so glad that he loved the quilt. I sewed the quilt with a lot of love and let me tell you that it is so hard to sew for someone that is home 24/7! Rusty also got some videos, a new watch, and his nice sit down dinner.

I am so glad that Rusty had an awesome Christmas. Rusty has had a bad year, between his heart attacks and having to make the arrangements for his mother; he really needed something positive. I am just glad that my shoulders are big enough for him to lean on because no one else has really been there for him. oh sure friend have called or stopped by, but.....well I am just glad that Rusty can lean on me.

As for me. Lets see... I got a new dragon fly pin and some dragon fly earrings. Some new p.j.'s and some new quilting supplies. I finally got a copy of the sound of music! That is my all time favorite movie.

I am just so glad that my family had a great Christmas.

Rusty tried out his new bike today. He was able to ride about a 1/4 of a mile. I kept telling Rusty to take it slow, but he would not listen to me. I know that it is going to take Rusty time to work up to a full blow work out. I know that Rusty thinks he is just fine, but I still worry and I worry a lot.

So today some of our friends stopped by today. One of the asked me if I heard what our frien Linda did? I was like what are you talking about? It seems that Linda has given up her family and just walked away. She is living with some guy who lives up the mountains. I thought good for her! Linda played by all of the rules. Got married in white and could really wear white. Raised 3 boys, hell she even home schooled them. She tought quilting, and did what ever her husband asked. Even when her family shit on her she just stayed positive. I guess she had finally had enough. I give her credit for staying as long as she did. Who am I to judge?

santa is gone



Well santa just left. For  the girls he left personal dvd players, and for Ryan he left a touch screen computer. He even stuffed all of the stockings!

I forgot to mention this. Our friend Tony is in Italy, and this year he played santa. He said that he did fine until a little asked santa to bring her dad home from Iraq! Poor girl.

I hope that the three families that we bought for this year have a great Christmas.

Good Night everyone, and Merry Christmas

Saturday, December 24, 2005

bad mommy

Well I am such a bad mommy that it is not funny....o.k. maybe it is a little funny.

Yesterday the girls were rough housing so much that I finally got sick of telling them to stop. So I finally said to myself well they will either stop or kill each other.

Then Rusty came home and joined in on the games. Rusty ended up chasing Amber down the hall and out the front door. So Rusty locked the door and walked away.

Amber stood there for like 10 minutes ringing the door bell and yelling before she realized that she could climb in the window.

So on her way in the window Nikki starts to close the window on Amber and causes her to fall on one of my light houses. So now Amber is laying on the floor screaming.

I just walked past her and went to get some wrapping paper. I yelled that is what you get for rough housing, and walked past her with wrapping paper under both arms.

About 10 minutes later Rusty comes into the bedroom and starts grabbing first aid stuff. It seems that When amber fell on the light house the sharp pointy part went into her leg and she was REALLY hurt. Amber was on the living room floor screaming and bleed ing all over the floor and I just walked away.

The hole in her leg would not require stitches however it bled forever and she is really sore today. ......I am such a bad mommy!

Well everything is ready for Santa to come tonight. I even have a lot of stuff done for tomorrow. The green beans are snapped, the pineapple is cut up, and the chocolate chip muffins for breakfast are done. Rusty is going to cut the ham up later and that will be one less thing that I will have to do on Christmas day.

As part of Rusty's Christmas gift this year I broke out his grandfathers china so that we can have "the formal dinner that Rusty has wanted". Let me tell you that is a pain in the ass! Dig through all of the china and find what we need. then we have to wash it all by hand. Lets not forget the water and wine goblets, and the cloth napkins. All in all I guess I can suck it up for one day to give Rusty something that he has never had. A true no shit sit down formal dinner.

Check out this song. Right now it is on my must listen list. The song is called if you dont want to love me.

Friday, December 23, 2005


Well we said that we would sort through all of my mother in laws stuff after the holidays. Well Christmas is almost here and we had not really gone through the stuff that is here.

So today I got up and got busy. Can you believe that I found wedge wood? and spode? I had no idea of the value until I looked it up on the Internet. So we set everything of value a side and we are going to take it to some dealers. We are not looking at real big buck, but we will make a little bit of money off of the stuff. Hell if we can just get back all of the money we spent on gas, u hauls and the storage unit I would be happy.

When I die I am leaving NOTHING for our family to sort through. I do not want our children to have to choose what to keep and what to get rid of. I would just rather get rid of all of it and sleep on the floor.

I just hope that my parents are better organized then my mother in law was.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

not to much going on

Well we finally got the direct t.v. hooked up in our room. It is so nice to go there and escape! I just love sitting in there with my knitting!

I finished up all of my shopping today! I am finally done. The tree is packed and my parents gifts have not arrived yet.

While we were cleaning out some of my mother in law's stuff her friend gave me some socks. She said that my mother in law had bought them for me for Christmas. Well the other day I opened them up and they are so nice. Now I know that they are are just socks, but these socks are so comfy! I told Rusty that I am going to order some more of them. I checked out the web sight and the sights motto is " life is to short for matching socks!"

We have been debating about what to do with a lot of my mother in laws stuff. I think that I am going to have a yard sale with all of the little items and put the profit towards the girls trip. Then what ever is left I will take to the good will.

Last week I was talking with a friend, and she said that since they adopted a baby she not gotten anything new for herself. This is not a huge deal for her, but she said that she would like to go buy herself something pretty. So I sat down and knitted her a scarf. Today I took that and a necklace up to her work. She was so shocked. I whispered in her ear that mom's need pretty stuff too! She just laughed.

Well I am off to do some knitting!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

for everything....


I really believe that something happens for a reason and that people come into your life for a reason.

last month I ordered a coat and a sweatshirt with her high school logo on them . I even had her name put on them well..... here it is a few days before Christmas and I was starting to get worried that they would not be in.

The lady called me today and I went and met her. She was so sweet and she kept saying that she was sorry that it took her so long to get the items to me. Her mother had a brain tumor removed and then she had a stroke, and with Christmas.... That was when I stopped her. I told her what has been going on with us.

I took her hand and told her that everything will be o.k. and that she needs to take a step back. I should know, I was just there.

Strange how life works.

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

catching up


Well over the last few day's a lot has been going on. So let me snuggle down so we can catch up.

I am finally making headway on cleaning up the house. I keep telling myself that I need to get this done before more of my mother in laws stuff shows up in our already crowed house. Today I went through our bedroom and just cleaned like there was no tomorrow. I even cleaned out my clothes and shoes! I guess I needed an excuse to do that.

Well the girls will not be going to Africa, instead they are going to Nicaragua! Rusty and I are so excited for them! The trip is going to cost us about $3,000 for both of the girls. That will include everything except passports, and shots. All of the girls who are going on the trip will be hitting the thrift stores to buy some clothes. The girls must dress in the same style as the girls down there are. No belly shirts and no really short shorts. They will be wearing skirts and dresses. Then I was told that when they leave to come home that the girls will all of their clothes for there for the people. I think that is so cool. Well after the first of the year I will need to get back to work, so I can make the money to send the girls. We can afford to do this, but I don't want to take the money out of the budget.

Rusty and I bought a t.v. with a dvd player built in. The other night I was just so worn out and I told Rusty that all I wanted to do was crawl into bed with a cup of chai tea and watch some t.v. So we now have a t.v. in our room.

Today is Rusty's birthday and he is 38 years young! We went out to lunch with some of our friend's and then we just hung out with them for a little bit. While we were gone the children made Rusty a ginger bread house for his birthday. He was so shocked!

I realized today that we have gotten more sympathy cards then we did Christmas cards.

To my great surprise the picture on my i.d. card turned out good.

I think that I am done catching everyone up!

Right now I am so thankful that we have friends who care.

Monday, December 19, 2005

getting it done

Life is so good! Yesterday I was just so over whelmed by everything that still has to be done. So I broke it all down into small task and now I am almost done with everything.

Today we have to go get new i.d. cards. I should do my hair and everything, but all i.d. pictures look bad.

I am going to make some more candy today. Yesterday I made root beer and fire. So Now I am trying to figure out what flavor to make today.

Any way I am off to attempt to get dressed and do my hair so that I can still take a bad picture! LOL

right now I am so thankful that we have have gotten through yet another storm.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

good morning


Well, I am up bright and early. I have to pick Amber up from a sleep over, but I so want to be in a nice warm bed sleeping.

Well, I wrapped all of the gifts last night. I was worried that Ryan would not have as much as the girls did and it turns out that I was wrong. It was Amber who does not have enough to open! I try to give them the same number of gifts, but...... oh well

Kevin was so great yesterday. He took Nikki and Ryan out to see a movie. I was able to finish Rustys quilt, so now all I have to do is tie it off! I have put so much time into this quilt and I hope that he really likes it.

We have gone through all of my mothers in law Christmas stuff. So the rest we are going to let some other people go through and then we are going to give it to good will. I am just amazed at how much crap my mother in law had.

Oh well on to a better subject. I am getting really excited about Christmas. Today I am going to tie off Rusty's quilt and make some candy! I have not made candy in a few years so I figured that I would do it this year.

I must admit that I feel very over whelm this year. Our house is a mess and to top it all off we have my mother in laws stuff in our back room. I just feel like the walls are closing in on me. Well I should get off my butt and start cleaning. I will talk to everyone later.

Friday, December 16, 2005

o.k. day


Well today we went through some of my mother in laws stuff. It was not as bad as we thought it was going to be.

We mainly went through the stuff in the garage and just loaded up Rusty's truck with a lot of crates. When we got back here we went through most of them. We ended up getting mostly Christmas stuff and some with pictures in them. Anyway. we only saved a few Christmas and the rest is going to good will.

I am still in shock at much crap my mother in law had. oh well

Rusty had a good day. Rusty was able to laugh a little and I even saw him smile once or twice today. So for me that is great news. I can't stand seeing Rusty so hurt.

I gave Kevin the quilt that I made him for Christmas. He really liked and I am so happy. I told him to take it to Iraq and that if the quilt does not make it back then I will just have to make him another one.

I found out today that our friend Ray did not get selected for first sgt. So I guess we will be going to his retirement ceremony. Ray really wanted to stay in, because he truly loves leading marines, but..... well........ oh I don't know. I feel for him. I know how hard it is to have to give up something that you love doing.

Anyway, I am off to bed. Right now I am so thankful that Rusty had a good day.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

lets see


I got up with the children this morning, so that Rusty could sleep in. So I got myself a cup of coffee and I have a little bit of time to write.

Last night we delivered Christmas to family. Now I had never met this family before I was just told that they had nothing. I talked to the mom on the phone several times and found out what the children would like for Christmas. This gal is a single mom of four who does not get wel fare because she wants to do everything for her children.

So I bought them some air mattress, blankets and some pillows. Then I got each of the children 2 gifts. Then when I asked the mom if they had a tree, she told me that they have nothing. So we got them a fake tree, so ornaments and some lights. I also got the mom a few gifts.

Well, last night when we went by the mom was still in L.A. at a job interview, so I knocked on the door and asked the children if they needed some holiday cheer. The children smiled and said yes. So I told them to come outside. It was there that they saw Rusty unloading the car. The smiles that we saw from the children was so priceless. They just knew that there would be no Christmas this year and........ Well it was just a good thing for us to do.

When the mom said that they had nothing she meant that they had nothing. There was no furniture in the living room. In the dining room there was a small t.v. sitting on a t.v. tray and that was it. I just cried once we got in the car to leave. We are so blessed.

Today I am going to spend a little bit of time cleaning up the house, but I really need to get some sewing done. Christmas is coming and I still have two blankets to finish.

Yesterday Rusty took the day off from dealing with everything. So today we need to get back to sorting out a few things, and trying to get a hold of a copy of her dd214. We have a lot left to do, and it is just so hard to handle everything right before Christmas.

I am off to get some stuff done.

Right now I am so Thankful that we have a furniture and that were able to bring some joy to another family.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

doing o.k.


Yesterday went o.k. for us. We had to go make a few arrangements. There was no life insurance, so.... well we are making it.

The lady in charge of the will, Joy, is being a lot nicer to us. On Monday night she was not so nice, but now that she is finding out how hard her job, she is being a lot nicer.

It seems that Joy must pay to ship everything that was left to all the relatives. Well that is getting expensive and she is now wondering how she is going to do it all. Sounds like her problem.

Leslie left me her car. So Rusty and I are going to park it and then let Amber drive it when she is able to.

Anyway on Friday Rusty and I are going to start going through all of Leslie's stuff. We are thinking about getting a u haul and just storing everything until after Christmas.

On a brighter note. A friend brought us over a Christmas tree today. So it is starting to look like Christmas around here.

Someone came by today and got the presents for the military family that we adopted. Tonight we are going to go take Christmas to another family, and then I am going to start wrapping all of our gifts.

I found out yesterday that Kevin will not be spending Christmas with us. He has to take leave before he leaves for Iraq, so he is going to go home. I am going to miss him, however I totally understand.

well I need to get busy and get moving.

Monday, December 12, 2005

good/bad day

Today started out real good. I took Rascle to the beauty shop and I even found her a new coat and a bone. I have not given her the bone yet since it is not Christmas. Yes for anyone who does not know Rascle is our dog.

Then I went to Ross and I found a perfect sweater for someone and then I even found a sweater for me and to my surprise I even found a pair of jeans that fit!

Then I hit the 99 cent store and bought some things. I then picked up rascle from the beauty shop and we came home.

What I have not told anyone is that we adopted two families this year for Christmas. Well tonight the girls and I were wrapping the presents for the one of the families. After all of that was done Rusty and I were going to go get our own Christmas tree and let the children decorate it.

The phone rang, so Rusty answered it. Then Rusty started screaming, and he threw the phone. I picked the phone up and found a nurse on the other end telling Rusty that his mom had just died.

We went up to the hospital and talked to the doctors. Rusty's mom went in for a regular surgery, and a blood clot broke loose and killed her. We were able to view the body. I have never really seen a dead person. I have been to funerals, but the bodies always look good.

Leslie was white and blue, her eyes were still open a little and her mouth was open. Rusty just knelt down next to her and closed her eyes and started to cry. What was I to do? I just leaned over him and hugged him.

What am I suppose to say? Both of my parents are still a live. Both of his are dead. Rusty did get a hold of his brother in England, but we don't think that he will be coming back here. So I guess Rusty is on his own. I will be there for him, but all of this is on Rusty now.

We have a copy of Leslies will so in the morning we will be heading up there to start taking care of everything. Our friend Ray is going to help us get the flag and to get the government to take care of all the final expenses.

I am worried about Rusty. Rusty just got his blood pressure medicine lowered and I hope that this does not put to much stress on him. The doctors say that his heart is strong, but I still don't want Rusty under any stress.

I have decided not to take any of the children to funeral. I feel that it would be to much for them and I don't want them to remember December as a bad month,but rather a time to celebrate. our friend Kevin said that he would come up at a moment's notice, so I am going to ask him to stay with the children on the day of the funeral.

Rusty did decided to donate all of Leslies organs. I was so happy to hear that. This way someone may have a chance at life.

Ray and one of his buddies are going to come up here and get all of the stuff that we had bought for this military family. I so wanted to have it all wrapped, and we were going to deliver all of the stuff on Saturday. Ray told me not worry about it. He said that he will buy all the wrapping paper and get all of his female marines together and they will wrap and deliver Christmas to the family for us.

The other family we are going to have to find the time. This family has NOTHING, not even bed's. So we had gone out and bought them some air mattress, and bedding. We bought the children some toys, we got them a tree and all of the trimmings. We even stuffed stockings for them! We really wanted to spread some holiday cheer this year.

My mom said that we still need to do that. I guess I just need to find the time.

I need to get some sleep. I know that I have a long week ahead of me. I need to find something to say to Rusty. All I keep saying is lean on me because my shoulders are strong.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

mixed feelings

Well we finally got a response from the V.A. They have decided that Rusty is 100% disabled! It took them long enough. LOL I am just so glad that we finally got an answer. After all Rusty had high blood pressure for 5 years while on active duty and they did nothing about it. Uncontrolled high blood preasure is the leading cause of heart attacks. Three cheers for Rusty.

I found out yesterday that our friend Kevin is leaving for Iraq sooner then he thought. I am so sad for him. I will miss him so much. I just pray for his safe return. Rusty does not understand my sorrow because he says " Kevin is a marine and marines go to war. That is their job" Well that does not make me feel any better!

As of today I will be unemployed. This does not break Rusty's heart at all. I on the other hand I kinda liked working, and having some extra change. Petitions should start up after the first of the year, so there will be work again after the holiday's.

I am off to get some stuff done around here before I go to work.

Friday, December 9, 2005

good morning

Good morning everyone. I must say that life around here has been really slow, but that is o.k. because I know that it is going to get crazy again.

Last night at work I was calling on voter cards. If someone is born outside of the United States we must ask them again if they are citizen's. Well last night I called a couple that was born in Iraq. When I asked them if they were citizen's the gentlemen said " Yes we are u.s. citizens! We are very proud to be here and to be an American". HMMM .... I wonder why more people who were born here don't feel that way?

The other day I went to the vet's office that took in the kitten I found. They said that the kitten is doing great! I am so happy to hear that. I did not think that it was going to make it. I need to stop by another day because the lady that has the kitten was not working. I also made up some pet quilts for the vet's office. The ladies were so jazzed just looking at the quilts.

Did I ever mention that I make quilts for pets/ I save up all of my scrap material and my scrap batting and that is what I use. Sometimes I take them to the animal shelter, and sometimes I give them to my friend who works at a vets office. I guess it is just a little way to give back.

have a great day everyone!

it's late

Well it is late and I just got home from work. So I thought that I would check my e mail. One of my friends sent me this e mail and thought that you guys might find it funny.

A Christmas Story

'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my ass for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season
  Good night all!

Thursday, December 8, 2005

another busy day

Yesterday was crazy and it looks like today is going to be just as bad.

The other day I went against what I said about not taking Ryan anywhere. Nikki had asked me to make a quilt for someone, so I was just going to run to wal mart. While we were there Ryan told the lady that was cutting the material that "My dad takes me to casinos". I was so floored! Rusty was just as shocked.

So yesterday I had a lot of stuff to do and so did Rusty, but Rusty took Ryan with him. No shock to me Ryan was perfect for Rusty. Oh well.

I have to work tonight. But before I can go to work I have to go get a few more signitures, so that I can do a turn in. Well crap, I just called the hot line and the petition that I have been working on is ending! This sucks! I was really hoping to be able to make some more money before Christmas. I guess not.

So I guess I am going to go hit it hard today and make as much as can before I have to go to work. anyway

Rusty got a call yesterday that the post had been raided and was being shut down. So he went down there to find out what was going on. It turns out that the A.T.F. (alchol, tabacco, and firearms) was there to raid the place. It turns out that the slot machines were illegal. Well duh! gambling is regulated in California! Anyway, the slots were taken and all of the books were gone over with a fine tooth comb.

I got a phone call from Nikki's school yesterday. It seem's that she has made honor roll again. I am so proud at how well Nikki has been doing.

I will chat with everyone later.

Tuesday, December 6, 2005


Years ago when I was in high school I had the oppertunity to travel through Europe. I had a blast and I got to see things that I will never see again. I saw the wall when Germany had and east and west. I saw countries that do not even exesit anymore. I even got to see the house where the sound of music was filmed. It was the time of my life.

I said that when I had children that I want them to take advantage of any opportunity to travel. Now they have the opportunity to go to Africa. I told the girls that we would go to the meeting about the trip. The girls will be going with the youth group from church.

I so want them to go! I am willing to work my ass off to get them there. What an opportunity! I must admit that one hand I am jazzed for them, but on the other hand I am sad. Sad because Africa was on my list of things to see before I die, and my children will see it before I do!

So we have about a week until we get all of the details. I just so hope that we can swing it!


Monday, December 5, 2005

good day

Finally after 6 months of being able to do nothing, the doctor cleared Rusty to start doing stuff. He still has to take it slow and he must stop when he starts to feel tired.

We are back to coning the ears again. The doctor said there is still a lot of wax in the ear. I am just in shock at how much stuff has been crammed into one ear drum. Oh well, at least he is hearing again.

Rusty had to get a flu and a phnomonia shot today! He is so not feeling good right now. My poor baby!

I did go out and work for a little bit today. It felt good to get out and work. I should be ashamed of myself for wanting to work and to get out of the house..... Well the last few weeks have just proved to me that I need to take a break from being a house wife and that I need to do something else.

I am so thankful that Rusty is now almost in the clear.

big day

Well, Rusty is off to the doctors. I do hope that all goes well for him. I am so amazed at how much he has recovered already, but I am really hoping that the doctor says that he can start with some exercise. Rusty said to me the day that his jeans are getting tight and he so wants to be able to exercise because he does not want to buy bigger clothes. I do blame him.

Well I am off to get some stuff done around here, and then when Rusty gets home I am going to go chase some signatures. Oh I realized this first thing this morning. Once again by standing by my morals I am loosing out. My boss asked me if I wanted to come over and work this morning. i said " let me go to my happy place for a minute. No I cant work at your house and be around Lisa" That's Right the person who gave me speed is still living at my bosses house. She cant work in the office, but he is not wiling to give up a free piece of ass. So, I am loosing hours because I refuse to be around people who use drugs. Oh well signatures pay more.

I will talk to everyone later


I cannot believe how cold it is here! I live in southern California and I demand that whoever stole are nice weather to bring it back! Brrrrrrr

I now know that I am defenitly on the wrong side my job. Tonight my boss was writing checks for over $1000 to just about everyone! There is a bonus going on , so people are really cashing in. I swear I am going to go get some signitures. I wont hit the bonus, but heck a little extra before Christmas wont hurt!

Well, goodnight everyone. Actually it is morning here, but I have not been to bed yet.

Saturday, December 3, 2005

can you believe?

Well it happened today. I was at wal mart with Sara and there I was alone in the aisle Sara and HAZEL! Can you believe it? I had the chance to kick the ever loving shit out of her and really put her pace maker to the test. But I just acted like I did not see her and I kept walking.

So what does that say about me? I am a wimp? I am better then she is? I think that I just cant give negative people any more of my energy.

off to bed. good night everyone

just thought I would share

Several years ago we were on welfare, and around Christmas we got to fill out this form as to what our children would like for Christmas. This was the year that Amber was i love with madaline. My mother and I looked everywhere for Madline stuff and we could not find it. So I put on Ambers card that she would like a madaline doll.

Nikki got a lot of gifts from the person that pulled her name off the angel tree. Amber only got one gift, but inside the box was a madaline doll! I just cried. Amber got her Christmas wish.

I just finished wrapping the gifts for the little girls that I pulled off the angel tree. I hope that on Christmas her parents have the same joy that I had. I hope.


Well Rusty had a bad night last night. He was yelling in his sleep and then he punched me in the arm! It still hurts. I usually wake him up when he starts yelling but for some reason I did not wake him up last night.

Anyway, I am going to go shopping with my friend Sara today. Both of us adopted a child off the tree at wal mart, we have to finish up with some of the little gifts and then get them turned in. I hope the little girl that I adopted has an awesome Christmas.

Anyway, I am off to get some stuff done before I leave to go shopping.

I am so thankful that we are able to help other people out this year.

Friday, December 2, 2005

still standing

After a string of bad day's I am still standing. I sometimes wonder how I get through everything?

Rusty has to go get blood drawn first thing in the morning because he has a doctors appointment on Monday. We are hoping for nothing but good news. Rusty will have had his heart attack 5 months almost to the day. We are really hoping that the doctor will release him to start doing anything! Rusty really wants top start working out again. I know that once he does start working out again that it is going to be very slow going, however everyone has to start somewhere.

As I was walking out the door to go to work the mail man handed me a package from a friend back east. It was a black persons nativity scene. I have been looking for one for a long time and I am so glad to finally have one! LOL For those of you who don't know I collect nativity scenes. However my family thinks that I have to many. I think we just need a bigger house.

Amber had a dance competition tonight, and Rusty said that she did awesome. ( I was at work) I could not believe that Rusty forgot to take the video camera! Oh well so goes life.

Jacinda called me last night, and she is having a boy! Jacinda has been very sick and she was told that the baby is very small. I am just hoping and praying that both Jacinda and the baby will come through this just fine. If something happened to either of them Jason would lose it.

Well I am off to bed.........zzzzzzzz