Wednesday, May 31, 2006

here today

My parents are arriving today, and while I should be thrilled all I am is tired. I woke up with this throbbing pain by my ear! So I know my ass will be dragging later on today.

Yesterday I got both of the cars cleaned out, and I actually enjoyed it. I was able to clean and get a little bit of a tan. I actually have some color now!

I am going to spend the rest of the day just picking up the house, and maybe catch a nap.

Tuesday, May 30, 2006

parents arrive tomorrow

  Well my parents will be here tomorrow! I am not sure if I am excited or scared.

I am excited that they are coming and I am looking forward to seeing them. I am looking forward to talking with them and just sitting down with them.

I am scared because I have never been able to do anything right. Yes, I was the fuck up child! So, I don't know what they will think of my new life.

Once I left home I never looked back. I knew that I was the biggest fuck up from the men I chose to having children at 19.

Now I have a wonderful husband, a home, 2 cars, a truck, and a life that I would not want to change. I wonder if they will find something to look down on.

I am also scared because I know that this will most likely be the last time I will see my father alive.

Anyway, I think I am ready for them to come in. I got most of the house cleaned, my dads oxygen will be here today, and Rusty is out getting the wheel chair.

My parents are coming in for Amber's 16th birthday. I still can't believe that Amber is going to 16. For the most part Amber is great child. Maybe I did something right after all. LOL

Sunday, May 28, 2006

busy few days

Well lets see. Yesterday was such a long day for us! The yard sale went great and the youth group made almost $700!

Amber and I had to leave the yard sale a few times to go do our duties. I got to carry the Marine Corps flag and Amber carried the Navy flag. The we rode around the lake with huge American flags.

I must admit that we pissed a few people off because we always had someone blocking the roads so that we could all stay together. Not to mention that all of those bikes make a lot of noise!

it was a lot of fun and I am so glad that I went and did it.

One of our friends mentioned today that his dad is a morticians! I think that is cool. I so want to go see how they embalm a body. Our friend said he has actually gotten paid to dress dead people! I so want to try it! Something else new for me to try.

Today I just tried to clean but I did not get that far. I decided that spending time with my friends was more important.

I told Rusty that I was going to go put flowers out on his parents grave, and I asked him if he wanted to go with me. I was very shocked when he said that he did want to go. It was very hard for Rusty. This was the first time he has seen his parents grave since they died. Rusty just knelt down, brushed some grass from the stone and started placing the flowers.

Next year I am going to buy some more flags and place them on the graves of all the people in same row as Rusty's parents.

There were a few groups out there that did adopt a section, and they placed flags and those graves. It looked so nice to see all of those flags waving in the wind.

I am going to go do nothing for the rest of the night.


Friday, May 26, 2006

slow day

So Rusty asked me this morning if I was going to make him breakfast. I just laughed and opened the pizza box! Rusty did not see the humor, but he did eat the left over pizza!

There is nothing that I want to do today. I just cannot find the energy to do anything. So here I sit.

This weekend is Memorial day weekend and we are going to be very busy. Nikki is at the river with some friends so she will not be back until Monday. Amber and I are going to go work the church yard sale, and Rusty....well he just going to be busy. He will be going out to the cemetery to place flowers on graves and then he will be there for the service. Rusty will also be working the bike rally.

Some how I got drafted into carrying the marine corps flag. HMMM me on the back of a Harley Davidson carrying a flag. LOL Yes that is right I get to be the skinny chick on the back of a bike, and the guy driving the bike will most likely be fat! My girl friend said that she wants a picture of this. I guess I will be the trophy skinny chick.

Rusty finally took Ryan to get his hair cut. I guess he did not the mow hawk that I gave Ryan the last time I cut his hair.

I still have not spoken to my parents, and right now that lack of stress is good.

I am going to go start sorting stuff for the yard sale.

For all of my U.K. readers here is a link as to what Memorial Day is.

Thursday, May 25, 2006

are we dirty?

While the children were at youth group last night, Rusty and I cleaned out Ryans room.We took out two huge bags of broken toys and trash. Then we took out one huge bag of toys and clothes to donate. I never even knew that he had so much crap!

Half of the garage is packed with stuff to go to the church yard sale this weekend. I was just amazed at how much crap we had in the house! Last night I was wondering if we were the only people who have this much crap! LOL I must say that it feels so good to just get rid of stuff.

Today I am going to start going through the garage. I know there is more stuff in the garage that we do not need.

Yesterday was a good day for me. I turned off the phones and just did what I needed to do. No stress for me.

I told Rusty yesterday that once my dad dies I am going to ask my mom if she would mind if I took some of my childhood stuff. I am not sure where I am going to put it, but I want some of my toys and other items. Rusty was like whatever, he is so easy going most of the time.

We have ordered Ambers cedar chest. So that should be here very soon. I am going to give Amber all of her baby pictures, and all of the little things that I saved. I am hoping that she really likes the cedar chest!

So I am going to get dressed and start my day. I hope everyone has a great day!

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

butter is in the computer

 So we ended up adopting this dog named butter. We knew that Butter was a pit mix, but we were unsure as to what he was mixed with. Today wile I was surfing I came across the picture above. I asked Rusty to come over and I asked him how butter got in the computer. Then I showed Rusty the picture. The picture above is not our dog, but it looks so much like butter! So we now know that Butter is a pit/blue heeler mix.

I have taken a break from dealing with everything.

I tried to go work in the yard, but it is just way to hot. So I think I am going to do some laundry and watch so t.v.


Tuesday, May 23, 2006


  I am telling everyone that I just want to cry. I was happy earlier day, but since then it has gone down hill.

I had called a friends dad yesterday to see if he knew anyone who could help my parents out, but he told me no. Then after I talked to the people who lived across the street from my parents..... Let me get my thoughts together. So my friends dad and his cousin show up at my parents house. My dad was less then nice about having someone else take care of the yard.

I got this guys number anyway and gave him a call. I just keep kicking myself. The house is in worse shape then my mom is telling me. The lawn guy, Ed, told me that the gutters are clogged and it does not look like the back yard has been touch in a long time. My friends father, Willie, told Ed that my father would have never let the house look like that.

Now my parents are mad at me because I have hired someone to take care of the yard and the outside of the house. All my mom kept saying was "We don't need the help, I can mow the yard with one arm" So my parents are mad, and that really hurts me. I am trying to help them out, I am trying to do the right thing and they are slapping me in face because of it.

Rusty keeps telling me that they are not mad at me, they are probably embarrassed. I know that my dad has pride on the line, but man, all I want to do is help.

Rusty just asked me to myself in their shoes. He said how would I feel if I was no longer able to take care of my family. I reminded him that when I was really down and out, my parents told me to go live on welfare and threw me out. Should I return the favor and just say that this is pay back for what they did to me?

It seems that I have grown as a person. I am trying to help the people who do nothing for me, when I needed them the most. I guess that makes me the better person?

All I do know is that I am sick of trying to do the right thing and then getting shit on because of it.

My dad got so pissed off at Rusty earlier today because we would not book them a hotel room. I don't know why that can't stay here. They were going to have the master bed room and a private bath. I just could not argue anymore so I went and booked them a room. I have no fight left.


one less thing

Well, I am just so happy right now! I found someone to go cut my parents grass. I know that sounds like a little thing, but that is one less thing on my mind right now.

The people who live across the street from parents are going to start mowing the lawn for me. I offered to pay them, but they would not hear of it. I am so happy that my mom will have one less thing to worry about.

Today I had to go clean the children's bathroom. It was so gross! I got so sick of seeing all of the girls stuff everywhere that I started throwing away stuff! I could not believe how much crap they had collected in the bathroom! LOL I must say that it feel awesome to really CLEAN stuff out. The next room to get a good going through will be Ryan's.

I am not up to much else today. I like having these slow day's with not to much to do.

Monday, May 22, 2006

pay back

We have a great group of friends. For me to even say that is an understatement! Anyway Our friends Ray and Sonja called today to see what Amber wanted for her birthday. I suggested the normal stuff such as clothes and shoes. She will be 16 after all.

Oh NO Ray and Sonja would like to get Amber a to go phone! That's right they want to buy Amber a cell phone. I told them to go a  head and do it.

Rusty just looked at me and told that this pay back for all of the things I have done to his children. "Mrs. Kelli can we have your quilts? Mrs. Kelli can we eat ice cream for dinner? Mrs. Kelli can we..." I always give in because they are not MY children. So I guess this is payback for spoiling their children. That's o.k.

Tonight we are going out to dinner with some friends. I am starting to like being able to go out and have a nice dinner with adult friends. No more of cutting up someone elses food or cleaning up a mess.

I talked to my mother yesterday and she is not holding up good. My mom just broke down crying. I wish I could take some of the stress of of her.

When I see my sister again I am going to give her a piece of my mind. I found out that my sister is not helping my mom at all. So yesterday my mom had to mow the yard, and clean the rain gutters. Rusty and I are so mad! What the hell? My sister can drop her child off, but not help mom wash the dishes?

Rusty and I are talking about paying someone to go clean her house and to cut her grass.

I am just so happy that they will be here in just a few weeks.

I need to get some sewing done, so I hope everyone has a great day!

Sunday, May 21, 2006

good day


There really is not to much going on today. We spent the day doing yard work since we have rain on the way.

My girlfriend sent me these saying in an e mail and I thought I would share them.

  You might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:   It  never occurred to
> you to be Offended by the phrase, "One nation, under  God."

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if:  You've never protested about seeing
> The 10 Commandments posted in  public  places.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  still say "Christmas" instead Of
> "Winter Festival."

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  bow your head when someone prays.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  stand and place
> your hand over Your heart when   they  play the National
> Anthem.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  treat Viet  Nam vets with Great
> respect, and always have.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You've  never burned an American flag.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  know what you believe and you
> Aren't afraid to say so, no matter who is listening.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You  respect your elders and expect
> Your kids to do the same.

>     You  might be a TRUE AMERICAN if: You'd  give your last dollar to a
> Friend.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

hair day

So I sold Ryan's computer today for $50.00. I bought this computer for him for Christmas and he has never used it. It was just a little kids computer and I was hoping that it would help him, but if you never turn the thing on then it cant help. Anyway after talking with Rusty, we decided to sell it.

So anyway, I took the money and went and got mine and Nikki's hair trimmed. Then I went and got my eyebrows waxed. I just love having play money! I do still need to take Amber to get her hair trimmed.

Tonight Rusty and I are going out with some friends. It will be nice to get away for a few hours.

I almost have everything done in the garden. I have the tomatoes, cantaloupe, watermelon, corn and sun flowers in. On Sunday I am going to try to get the pumpkins in. I hope that everything does good this year. It has gotten so hot so quick that I am afraid that everything will die.

Thursday, May 18, 2006

one step closer

The girls are going to get their passports today! I am just so excited for them! They are one step closer to Nicaragua!

I told Rusty last night that I am almost jealous of the girls. They are going to doing more then I ever got to do as a child! Then he reminded me that I DID get to travel through Europe and see countries that do not even exist any more. O.k. he won that argument.

Last night we moved all of the furniture out of our living room, since the new sofa should be here today. ( new to us... some friends are giving us theirs) Anyway, Rusty was complaining that we paid $400 for the sofa's 7 years ago, and that there is nothing wrong with them. Once we got them to the curb he took a good look at them and changed his mind. There were no threads left on this sofa and we had to keep them covered! Now that the new sofa is coming he is happy.

I think that I live with a family of pigs! When we moved the sofa's we found so much trash! Am I the only mom that is scared to see what is under the sofa? Does everyone else vacuum under their sofa everyday?

OH! So last night there was a knock at the door and some guy asked us if we were giving away the sofa's! He said that they had no furniture so they would be happy to take our sofa's. Rusty told him to take them. I think that Rusty was happy to help someone else out.

I will chat with everyone later!

Wednesday, May 17, 2006


I went to Nikki's school today to help out. I was standing in the classroom looking at all the children. This one girl caught my eye. She reminded me of ME when I was that age.

No one would talk to her. Long natural curls, and no body.

It was not until after high school that I finally got my curls under control, got boob's and one day I woke up 20 pounds lighter.

So we head over to this room that we are suppose to be setting up and I walk up to this girl and ask her if she would help me out. Her name is Rebecca and she is the class "geek". Anyway, we worked on different project's together and she is a really nice girl.

Right before I was leaving Nikki came up to say good bye and asked me what I thought of Rebecca.

Nikki has no clue what it is like to be the out cast. Everything Nikki tries she has success at. Nikki does not know failure. Nikki has a ton of friends, so she will never know what it is like to be alone in a room full of people.

Anyway, I feel for Rebecca and all the girls like her. I know that one day that are going to be knock outs and I hope that they over look all the people who use to over look them!


There is a reason that I live in southern California. It is called sun and heat! My husband tells me that I must have been born on the sun since I have this love affair with heat!

I made a huge mistake yesterday. I was out working in the garden and I did not put on any sunscreen so no my back is burnt. So today I will wear a shirt while I am outside working. LOL

I am going up to Nikki's school today to help set up for something. ( I am not sure what we are setting up for) I was told however that I will be micro managing a bunch of 7th graders, since they are the ones who are suppose to be doing the work.

Yesterday Rusty and I took the bottom off this bird cage. So today I am going to get it sunk into the ground and plant some vining Jasmine in it. I know that it will smell great next year.

Our new sofa comes tomorrow! Well o.k. it is new to us and in much better shape then ours! So tonight we have to move our old furniture out. I am scared to see what is under the furniture!

I hope everyone has a great day!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

camera issue

Well good morning everyone! I must be really dumb or my camera is not working good. I am going to say that the camera is not working! For some reason it will not let me load any of the pictures that I have taken!

HMMMM..... could it be because it has been dropped more times then I can count? Could it be because I often forget to charge the batteries?

The final pieces of our fence our going up right now. Finally the dogs will able to run in the back yard.

I am going to go spend the day in the garden. I really need to get my pumpkins in!

I hope everyone has a great day!


Sunday, May 14, 2006

mothers day

Well happy mothers day to all the moms out there! I am not sure what we are going to do today, but I am just looking forward to a day of doing nothing!

We had a bbq last night and it sure was nice to get together with our friends. I got to sit and rock baby Jack most of the night. There is nothing like rocking a new baby.

*side note* Renee asked me who baby Jack was. Baby Jack is a miracle baby. Our friend Jacinda was so sick the entire pregnancy. She threw up for eight months, was put in the hospital a few times and then would not turn when it was time to be born. So Jacinda ended up having a c section. Baby Jack was born at 35 weeks and is very healthy!

So yesterday I went to some yard sales. I just love going to yard sales. Anyway, I was at this one yard sale and I scored some Pyrex. So I was sitting in this old chair waiting for my friend to finish her shopping when I discovered that the chair I can sitting in was so comfy. The guy sold it to me for $10! I love this chair and it is even kinda funky, just the way I like things.

I am going to go get some coffee and chill for the day!

Friday, May 12, 2006

great day!

Well I had just an awesome day! I got up this morning, had some coffee and a smoke and hit the ground running!

I had to go to the feed store and buy some special food for our dog butter. I am happy that he liked it since it was expensive! While we were at the feed store one of the workers there showed Ryan the baby chickens. So now Ryan thinks we should get some chickens. Let me think....... NO!

Then I took Ryan out to lunch. No I did not go to jack in box, and yes I kept the food down!

Then it was off to get some sod. We so needed to replace some of the grass. Then when I got home some men had started working on our fence! I was so happy since they were not suppose to come until Monday!

Tonight I just cleaned up around the house and chilled. It felt so good to get out in the sunshine and fresh air!

OH! Rusty bought me  a new razor phone and it is really cool. I must admit that I have not figured out how to work it yet. I think I launch the space shuttle with it, but I am not sure what button to push yet.

Last year I was introduced to a gal, who was still in Iraq. We e mail back and forth and when she came back to the states we even talked a few times. Then I lost her number and e mail addy. Well, she called tonight! She is now stationed at Camp Pendleton and she is coming up for a cook out! Life is so funny and I am very excited to meet her.

Baby Jack will be coming to his first cook out tomorrow. I can't wait to see him! I will have to post a picture for all of my lurkers who know Jack's dad! LOL ****NOTE: all of my lurkers should really post instead of e mailing me. My journal looks so unread!****

OH!!!! Last night was my last night at work! Petition season is over! I am so happy. Now I can get back on a normal schedule!

Thursday, May 11, 2006

I can stand!

I just spent a day 1/2 in bed because I had food poisoning! I will never eat at Jack in the box again. The cramping was so bad that I could not even stand up! Food poisoning hurts.

I feel much better today, well that was until I saw the condition of the house. Man the house is trashed! It will take me a week to clean what took them a day to trash.

I hope no one else ever gets food poisoning!

Monday, May 8, 2006

free bed


So I posted on craigs list today that I had a free king size water bed. Man some people are so stupid! People e mailed me questions like  " do you have sheets for the bed? are you sure you want to get rid of it?" I swear some people just.......

O.K. I am in my happy place now.

Ambers dance teacher is on my last nerve and I am so ready to just smack her. Amber comes home today and tells me that she has practice on her birthday and the rest of the weekend! I told no she does not! I am not paying all of that money to fly my parents out here just she can spend the whole weekend at school.

This is Ambers last and only chance to see her grandfather before he dies and she is just going to have to move on with out my child.

I got some work done in the yard and Rusty got some of the sprinkles replaced. So the yard is starting to look good.

I am going to take the bird cage that I bought last summer and plant some vine that smells real good in it. I know by next summer the plant will be so big and smell so good!

I am have some running around to do, so I will chat with everyone later.

Sunday, May 7, 2006

another day

   So yesterday on my way home from work I heard a song that reminded me of my father. I so wanted to call Rusty and talk to him, But he was in bed.

So this morning, I told him that I wanted to talk to him last night, but that I did not want to wake. Rusty asked what was going on.

I told him that a few things hit me last night. One of them was the fact that my father will never see the girls get married. My father will never hold his first great grand child.

Poor Rusty just looked at me and then gave me a hug and he started crying. He said that he knew just how I felt!

I am so consumed in my own self pity that I did not think that Rusty might still be hurting. How shallow of me.

I now know that Rusty is wrong. Knowing someone is going to die is not that easy, because it gives you time to think. I will be happy to see my father, but I know that it will also break my heart.

I am going to go to bed and get some sleep. I have another long day tomorrow.

Friday, May 5, 2006

red velvet

O.K. I am shocked how many people did not know what a red velvet cake was. So here is a picture of it. I was told that it was a southern dish, however there is no real history on this cake. I must say that this cake is good and that everyone should try it. For my friends in the u.k. I am not sure how to convert the measurements. I do know that here in the states you can actually buy a red velvet cake mix. anyway here is a link just in case anyone would like to try to make it on their own!

Work is going to be very busy for the few day's but then it will slow way down. I am so happy about that! There is so much that I need to get done before my parents come!

I just realized something today. My father will never see his granddaughters get married or even hold one of their children. That really makes me sad.

Everyone around here has been good lately. Maybe it is just because I have been here much or maybe its because.... whatever the reason I am glad that life is going smooth right now.

I need to get some sleep, so I will chat with everyone later!

Thursday, May 4, 2006

not much

Well there has not been to much going on here. I must say that it has been nice not to have any new drama.

I have been working on getting the flowers and vegi's planted. I am so glad that this year I can finally have a semi nice back yard! All of the flowers that I am planting are native to California, so they will handle the drought and heat well. Best of all they will be here next year! I am also planting corn, pumpkins, raspberry, and blackberries! Yum!!!!

I have a red velvet cake in the oven. I am taking it into work for one of the girls at work. It smells so good!

I am going to go put away the stacks of laundry that just can't seem to put themselves away!


Tuesday, May 2, 2006

good mom

I got these pictures in an e mail called mom of the year! I would love to shake her hand. I just love the way she is sitting there drinking her drink and watching everyone go by.

We found out over the weekend that Nikki had once again set up a my space account. Once we found it, she would not give us the pass word to the account, she did however let us read all the post.

So, after Nikki went to bed we started calling all of her friends parents and let me say that they were less then happy with what there children were doing on line. I cannot believe some of these post. One of the fathers I spoke with was a career sailor and one of the post I read him think the sailors language was very good! Another gal I called, I told her that I need to talk to her mom about throwing a surprise for Nikki. When the mom got on the phone and I explained who I was and I was calling....well this girl was not happy that cord less phones were invented!

So we figure if Nikki would not give us the pass word, well then we will just call everyone and they will think twice before posting on Nikki's my space account.

Yesterday was so nice and warm. I just love it when it nice outside and I am able to be outside. Amber and I went for a bike ride, and I worked on cleaning out the garage. If it is nice today I am going to work on getting some weeds pulled so that I can get some flowers planted.

I got a huge surprise on Sunday. I was at work and one of my co works set a package on my desk for me. I came back into the office and there it was! Inside the box was a pair of dragonfly earrings! They were so beautiful! I asked where she found them and she said  " my jewelry box". I wanted to cry! That was just so sweet.

I am going to go start my day. I hope everyone has a great day.