I talked to the shrink

This has been one very crazy weekend. I had my shrink on the phone all weekend. Yes everyone I have a shrink. My shrink is Dimitri and since he is our friend I don't have to pay him! LOL Free is a good price.

Issue number one. When I was going through a box I came across a small photo album. When I opened the album there were pictures of my late in laws. My heart just sank. Memorial Day is coming up. Every Memorial Day I go and put flowers and pictures on their grave. I have done for I think four years now. I do not want to do it anymore. I know that Rusty and Rusty's brother have said thank you to me for doing it, but I just don't want to do it any more. So my issue was.... does that make me a bad person for not going and leaving the grave un attended? Am I wrong to no long want to do what Rusty and his brother should be doing?

I was told no that I was not a bad person and that I have done it longer then most people would have. I was also told Rusty and Rysty's brother may never go to the grave, it all depends on them and if there was ever any closure.

I told Rusty about mine and Dimitris conversation. Rusty said I think I will go this year. I told Rusty that I would go with him and support him, but that I would not do it for him any more.

Issue number two. Nikki. Yes Betty may seem to have everything together and Nikki is very driven, however Nikki has said something more then once that scares me.

I have come to term's with Nikki wanting to join the service. I don't like it and I can't stop it. More then once I have asked Nikki why she would want to be a Chaplin assistance instead of be the chaplain or using her engineering degree.

The answer is the same. If I am the Chaplin assistance then I get to carry a gun.

At this point I walk away. I do know enough to know that I don't know enough.

I said to Dimitri " let me ask you a question as my friend and not my shrink. Do enjoy killing people?"

The was no and that there is no glory in taking another humans life.

Then I explained the whole Nikki thing to Dimitri. I was told that t.v. movies, and even the marines make war sound great, but it is not. Dimitri could not answer my question on the whole gun thing. He did say that he would sit down and talk to her and see where she is coming from.

Yesterday Rusty Nikki and I went down to the church and we met with the youth pastor and the mother from hell.... the boyfriends mom.

Now I have been supportive, for the most part I have bit my lip, and I am so done with this bitch.

We get into this room to talk about everything. O.K. I know this will be hard to believe, but I sat there and listen to this lady run my daughter down.

Nikki finally hit rock bottom. Nikki stood up and just let loose on this lady. Now in my mind I high fiving Rusty. That is my girl! I am so proud of Nikki for finally standing up for herself.

Once Nikki was done unloading on this bitch, she grabbed Rusty's hand and pulled him out of the room.

Once Nikki and Rusty left, it was my turn. I very calmly said in front of the youth pastor "I have bent over backwards for nikki and Chris. I even offered to take your son in when you kicked him out." Then I left.\

Nikki said that she is so done. I am glad! I just wish that she did not have to hit rock bottom to get done.

Well Rusty and I are running off to Vegas this weekend! Some of our friends from Il. are flying into Vegas, so we are going to drive out there and see them. Vegas is only about 4 hours from here, so that is not to bad.

O.K. so today we are going to Jacksonville Fl. I have never been there but I wish I could go visit it. To be very truthful I have never been to Fl!

So Heather and Sherry pack you bags we are coming to get you.

http://www.visitjacksonville.com/

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Up and moving...but not so fast

Well the kittens have had their breakfast and they are now sleeping. Amber and Ryan are still sleeping, and Rusty is at work. Right now I would normally be cleaning something, but my hips are killing me today!

I checked the weather report and we are not getting any rain soon, so i do not know why my hips hurt so bad.

When I was giving birth to Nikki my hips popped out of place. The doctor was kind enough to leave them out until after Nikki was born. Now they pop out of place all the time and I swear I have arthritis in them.

Yesterday Amber took Ryan up to the pool. They were gone for a few hours and then when they walked in the door and Amber had this strange look on her face. Amber said "Well mom I now understand you a little bit better. When I walk into a room and see staring at Ryan what the "what the F*** look and your face and breathing very deeply."

O.K. now Amber has my attention. I said "What happened?"

Amber said "I put sunscreen on Ryans hands and told him to rub it in. So he rubbed his hands together and then said "is this good?"

I just laughed at her. For once someone else was in my shoes. I reminded Amber that you have to say rub this on your legs, now on your chest, now on your arms......

Yesterday I asked Nikki if she still planned on going to the Navel academy to get her engineering degree.\

Nikki said "Yes, nothing has changed there. I want to get my engineering degree, then go into the Navy with the Marine option, and then I want to go to the mission field."

I asked Nikki if she had found a summer job yet. Nikki told me no, but that she wants to talk to some contractors and see if any of them would take her under their wing and teacher everything they know. I think this is a good idea.

I heard from one of the marines yesterday and he said that everyone out there is doing good. I was so glad to hear that.

I finished the blanket for Lewis and he should be leaving with in a few weeks. Lewis is happy that he will be with his twin.

\

So today we are going to Essexville, Michigan. So Michelle pack your bags and leave the winter clothes there!

Here is a memory that you guys will laugh at, but I still to this day not find funny. I was little. Maybe 3 or 4? For whatever reason my parents took us to Michigan. It was so cold there!

Now I don't remember this part of the story so according to my mom, I wanted to go see the ducks. So my father took me outside to see the ducks. My mom was watching from the hotel window.

I do remember be surround by ducks.

I do not remember this, but according to my dad a duck made it's noise and it scared me so bad that I jumped in the lake or pond. My dad went in after me.

I remember my dad handing me to my mom, but that is it. To this day I hate ducks and they scare me. When I take the children down to the lake to fed the ducks I stay away from the water.

Why? I don;t know. I know how to swim now, but man I am still scared of ducks!

Michelle are you ready to go? I could not find the link to your journal, so please e mail it to me and I will add it.

Wow you live in a small town!

http://journals.aol.com/eeofficemgr/michelles-rantings/

http://www.essexvillemichigan.com/

Why I do what I do

The photo challenge for this week was "sacred". I thought about this and came up a good entry for this. Then I found out that the challenge was changed.

I am going to post about sacred anyway.

The above pictures are sacred to me. Not so much the pictures but the pets in the pictures. No I do not worship my pets, but I do love.

The dog in the picture is butter and he was going to be put down when we pulled him from the pound. We were told that he was no suitable for adoption and all of this other horrible stuff.

Butter is the best dog ever!

The next picture is of the babies sleeping. I know that you can't see the kittens but they are doing great. Note that the kittens are sleeping on my homemade quilts, and true baby blankets.In the picture there is even a cloth diaper that I used on my own children.

A few years back I said that I wanted to try something new and that I wanted to work with animals. Little did I know that idea would grow and grow. Now I am quilting and fostering.

To me this is sacred. Fostering keeps me very grounded and it reminds me that animals depend on us for everything. Think about this. If everyone else said that someone will do it then nothing would get done. If there were not volunteers out there willing to foster these animals then they would die before their life began or the shelter would kill them.

To me helping to save a life is very sacred.

I do not treat these kittens as just common animals. As you can tell they sleep on our blankets. I hold them when they cry, I feed them when they are hungry, and most of all I love them.

I will sit and rock these kittens and tell them that it is o.k. to be scared. I would be scared to is I was their size, my mother is gone, I can't see and I have no idea what is going on.

To me an animals life is very sacred. Please watch the following video.  I can't load it to my journal,so just click on the link.

http://brightlion.com/InHope/InHope_en.aspx

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Family the ties that bind and gag

I believe this quote come from Erma Bombecks last book. I am not a huge reader, but I have read everyone of her books and I laughed my ass while doing it. Erma wrote a book called families the ties that bind and sometimes gag.

Well that is where I am today. Yesterday I was so tired and all I wanted to do was take a nap. The kittens had been up the night before and my ass was worn out!

**** SIDE NOTE**** Lyn it is o.k. that you do not like cat's. Just think how boring this world would be if we all liked the same things! LOL

Now we need to flash back to time before Rusty was born. Rusty's parents met some other guys and they swore that they would always take care of each other. Uncle Bill and Uncle Dale were like fathers to Rusty and his brother Andy.

Now we are back to the present day. Did I mention that my ass was worn out yesterday? So I was laying down when Rusty calls me. I answer the phone and Rusty say's "I gave my Uncle Bill your phone number and he should be calling you".

Fine. I was just about to fall asleep when Uncle Bill called me. Now I have talked to this man on the phone before but I have never met him. From what everyone tells me Bill is strange, but then again so am I. Anyway, Bill starts asking me questions about Ryan and I answer them. Then Bill starts asking me about Andy.

Red flag alert there! If you mention Andy that vein in Rusty's head start's to bulge. I just came out and asked Bill what he was trying to get at. I also very strongly suggested to Bill that he stay out of Rusty and Andy's relationship or lack there of.

Bill goes on to tell me that Andy's son has Autism. Now the vein in my head is bulging. Andy and I got into a pissing contest via e mail about how Rusty and I raise our children and about having a handi cap child. Now all of sudden we find out that Andy's son has Austism?

****side note**** Andy lives in the UK and none of the relatives back here in the "colonies" even knew this child was born until Rusty's dad died and by then this child was something like a year old. If I had to guess I would say Rusty has not seen his brother in 12 years and has never met Andy's son.

So why now? Why is Uncle Bill calling us? Why is he speaking with Andy about these things? Or did Andy contact Bill? Why not just let sleeping dogs be.

This morning Rusty and I were outside were having our coffee and smoking when Rusty brought this subject up. Rusty has mixed feelings about all of this.

I just laughed and said well my family is no better then your's. We do not have a skeleton in the closet, we have the whole damn grave yard!

I got some sleep last night, so I am feeling better today. I have to take nikki to wall mart to get some stuff, and then Nikki will be gone for a few days. Nikki is going dirt biking out in the desert. That sounds like fun to me!

I also have to get some more nipples for the kittens bottles because one of the older cats ate the nipple off and then drank all of the kittens formula. I guess it wont hurt them, but now I have one bottle and two mouths!

Here is a very true fact about me. I can't read a map. If you give me a map we will all be looking for blue and red roads. So with that said. On this installment of road trip we are going to New Jersey.

I picked everyone up here in California so now I am going in order as the comments were posted.

Michelle, send the children to your ex's and pack you bags, and your pets! We are now joining us on the rv.

Here is all of Michelle's info and the link to her town!

http://i208.photobucket.com/albums/bb146/miloangelo/quote.jpg

 

http://parkridgenj.com/

 

 

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shhhh the babies are sleeping

 

These are the two new foster babies that we got in yesterday. They are just so sweet. The top on is nutmeg and the bottom one is twist. I am so blessed.

Also, yesterday I took down a stack of quilts and a lady at the shelter gave me a stack of material. I was so happy to see that material. Now I can make another quilt for another marine.

George is about on my last nerve. I think it might be miscommunication, but I am so done right now.

So we let George borrow one of our cars, so she could go do some running around to get the stuff ready for her to get her truck.

Well tonight we are suppose to meet her at the dealership, so that we can drive the car home.

George just called me and asked why Rusty wanted her to call him before she left base to come up here. I told her that I did not know. Then George say's "No one is driving the truck off the lot but me. I do not want anyone sitting next me. I am scared enough to drive a stick and don't need anyone else making me nervous." I said, "well I have to go the kittens are crying".

Rusty then calls me. I told him the conversation. Rusty says" the reason I need to know is because I have to go to the house and get Amber, so that Amber can drive the car back. You are going out tonight, so someone has to be with the kittens. I need to know what time frame I am looking at, so I can make sure that everything is covered."

Rusty has said the same thing. We are done dealing with George over this truck issue. We offered to teach her how to drive a stick, and get out of first gear while on a hill. She said no that she would figure it out. She borrows our car, and then thinks that Rusty wants to drive her truck? Whatever. I am going to tell George to go park our car in the dirt lot by the dealership and that we will pick it up later.

Why do I bother?

Well today I got to drive a Jaguar. You know I thought it would be so cool to drive a brand new Jaguar, but it was very uncomfortable and now my back hurts. LOL

Lisa said that she had to work today, so we are now driving to San Mateo California, to go kid nap her from work! So Lisa you will not have to work with the troll today! LOL

Here is the link to Lisa's journal and the link for her city.

Lisa's journal is private, so here is the link but I am sorry if you cant read it.

http://journals.aol.com/lisa41076/LisasPlaceofthoughtsandramblings/

http://www.cityofsanmateo.org/index.html

Sorry for not commenting a lot today. The babies are keeping my busy!

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start the road trip.

O.K. today is the start of our road trip. This map does not show where I live, but I am in between San Diego and Palm Springs.

I live a little town called Lake Elsinore. Lake Elsinore is very full of history, and we have a lot to do here. Yes, we have a lake, the mountain, and we are not that far from the ocean. About 5 years ago we even got snow!

My first stop is for Pam in Long Beach. I love going to Long Beach! I always have so much fun there. We go to the Aquarium of the Pacific and we then we go to Bubba Gumps for lunch. I could spend hours walking around Long Beach. Oh and the queen Mary is there. Just a word of warning. If you spend the night on the Queen Mary and you decide to have crazy sex try not to make to much noise. The walls are paper thin.

Then we are off to get Betty up in Laguna Beach. To be honest, I have never been there. So Betty you are going to have to take me sight seeing when we get there!

Now I want everyone to keep in mind that only did I steal this rv, but that I am driving on a suspended license! So watch out.

Lisa up in San Mateo, we will be picking you up tomorrow!

Here are the links to Pam and Betty's journal, and a link to the home page for their home town. This way everyone can see where we live.

Lake Elsinore: http://www.usacitiesonline.com/cacountylakeelsinore.htm

Pam in Long Beach:

http://journals.aol.com/lanurseprn/TimesofMyLifeOneNursesStory/

http://www.ci.long-beach.ca.us/

Betty in Lagua Beach

http://journals.aol.com/lv2trnscrb/kodas-corgi-tales/

http://www.lagunabeachcity.net/

 

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we are not beavers

This weekend was so very uneventful and I loved it.

George made a play list of ocean sounds. So we did our usual nude tanning while listening to the sound of the ocean. We even had a nice little breeze, so it was as close to the beach as we were going to get.

Then we all decided to go hike out to the falls. I was so happy when I could see water from the road! We had so much fun just walking around the falls and in the pool.

George and I tried to build a damn, but we did not to much luck with that one! I said to George " I guess we are not beavers". Oh wait! Are we dumber then the average beaver?

Our children are off school this week. I am thinking that it might not be to bad this year. Now that Amber can drive, she can do the running around for me. I know the girls want to go to the pool, so I need to go get a pool pass, and then I can turn all of them loose at the pool.

Can you believe that I actually bit my lip this weekend. When I say I bit my lip what I guess I am trying to say is that I did not speak my mind.

George is in the process of buying a new truck. I just don't think that she thought this all the way through. The truck payment is going to be half of her monthly pay. Then she still has to get insurance on it. Gas is $3.60 here. I so see it reaching $4.00 a gallon by summer. But I kept my mouth shut.

To be honest Rusty and I talked to George a few months ago. We try ed very hard to convince her to save up her money and pay cash for something. But she will not be the first young person to make this mistake.

Then this weekend Lewis brought his soon to be wife out here for a visit. She is a senior in high school. This gal is very nice and we all liked her, but I just wanted to shake her!

This gal is the same age as Amber and I can't picture Amber getting married as soon as she graduates from high school.

I got married right out of high school and I still feel like I missed outon so much. While everyone else was having fun and going to college, I was married and had a child on the way.

Anyway. I did not grab her and shake her. I just said nothing.

Today I have some stuff to do around here and then I need to go get the pool pass, and I have some sewing to get done. I am really hoping for a nice slow day.

Rusty is going to a cigar social after work, so it will be just me and the children for dinner. I am thinking something quick and easy.

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pimp my room

Well today is Ryan's birthday. Our baby is 13! So after much debating as to what to get Ryan, we decided to pimp his room.

Yesterday I found one of those gamer chairs and it was on clearance! Then I found this bedding set. It has tanks and helicopters, so he will like that. Then the girls bought him some Hannah Montana posters..... I guess the boy needed some pin ups.

I am not going to let Ryan go into his room until after we have dinner and cake. Then he will be so shocked.

Today I have some running around to do and then the usual stuff. It looks like it is gong to be a nice day, so I will be happy to get outside for a while.

I told Rusty that one the first I am going to go get my eye exam and get new glasses and contacts. I want some colored contacts but I also want some cat eye contact. Rusty just said what ever. I think it will be a good way to freak people out.

Well I need to hit the ground running.

 

 

 

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ask and you shall recieve.

Well tomorrow is Ryans birthday. He will be 13! I am not sure if I am ready to have 3 teenagers in the house. But ready or not here it comes.

Amber is now hating school. I guess some girls are really picking on her and one of her so called friends have started joining these girls.

Amber is picked on because she is 5'9" and is still as skinny as a rail. Amber is picked on because she talks to the "retarded" children and does not let people pick on them. Amber is picked on because she does not hang out with the cool kids and does not wear brand name clothes.

I however give Amber credit. Amber talks to the "retarded" children because she has a brother who is "retarded". Amber buys clothes that she can afford and those do not come with fancy labels.

Nikki is bitching because I volutold her to help my property manger do some work. Nikki does not have a job yet, so she does not know what it is to work for money. She is going to find out this week. Nikki is also mad because I am making her put half of the money towards her trips.

I do not blame Nikki for being upset. Once she turns 16 and gets a job she will realize what it is like to have money and how hard you have to work for it and how far it does not go. Nikki just has not gotten that life lesson yet. Amber on the other happy to work, and not have to pay taxes on it! Amber has learned that lesson.

Ryan and I went rounds and rounds this morning. Rusty finally told me to stop beating a dead horse

Every morning I have to look Ryan over and make sure that he has on nice clothes. This morning his socks did not match and he had holes in his jeans. I sent him back up to change. He comes down in pj  bottoms. I sent him back up to change, and this time I followed. Ryan finally put on a pair of shorts.

I go through this every morning. Iwas so hoping that age would change this but I cant look at his birth age. His mental age is about 8 or 9, so I guess he is acting his age.

Today I am going to finish up some laundry and then I have some running around to do. I still need to go buy a cake mix, so I can make Ryan a birthday cake. I still have no idea what to get Ryan for his birthday. What do you get a kid that plays with nothing? I did get him a new bedding set. It has helicopters on it so I am sure that he will like it. However I know that no kid wants new bedding for his birthday.

Oh well, it is time for me to hit the ground running.

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going to voicemail

Yesterday was demo day. I was so happy to see everything some together! These fine young men tore everything down in 6 hours! It had taken a regular crew 3 day's.

It was so nice to see these young men come out and support the veterans. I don't think they all volunteered, but they all had a good time.

I kept them wired on Monster and I fed them, so what more could they ask for.

Amber and Nikki volunteered to come out and help and they both did an awesome job. Amber was on camera duty and Nikki .....well she got shoved out of her job.

Nikki was in there sweeping and the marines would always take her broom from her. Then Nikki got a tile scrapper and the marines took that from her. I found out later in the day that one of the marines who was in charge told told the other marines that if they saw Nikki working that they would get in trouble.

We had one older gentlemen show and no one knew who he was. this gentlemen showed up with his tools and just started working. So I went up and introduced myself. It turns out that someone down at base sent him the e mail about what we were doing and he wanted to come out and help, since he was a retired marine.

Today I am still sore and I have a ton of house work to get done. I was lazy all weekend and gone yesterday, so everything has piled up for 4 days now.

I have managed to get our entry way, the living room, and one bathroom cleaned. The laundry is started, and there is still a ton of other stuff to do.

Today I am sending most of my calls to voice mail. I just have so much that I need to get done. I told Rusty that I would actually cook dinner for him, since he has not had a home cooked meal since last Wednesday.

I need to get busy and I am still sore from yesterday. Here is the link to photobucket account that I set up for demo day. So if you would like to see Americas finest at work go check it out.

http://s29.photobucket.com/albums/c287/noonmom/vfwpost1508/

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no more support

These are our girls. On the left is Nikki and she is the one who wants to be a missionary.

On the right is Amber and this entry is about her.

Yesterday I got a call back from the back district attorneys office.

No they will not extend her child support and insurance past 18.

Yes I can take my ex back to court and try to get the order on my own, and they would enforce the order.

However in order to take my ex back to court I would have to find him in order to serve him.

I run the chance of the judge telling us no or he could lower our support.

I run the change of my ex actually showing up in court. If this man does show up in court I will once again have to face a convicted abuser. I will have to put the children in hiding.

I know that Rusty and some of the other marines would go to court with me, and that I would be safe from him.

Rusty and I talked about all of our options. We have decided to let sleeping dogs lie. Rusty has always said that the girls would know who their true dad was because is the one that supports them and is there for them.

When Amber turns 18 (June 1) she is going to ask for a buy out on her child support. That means that any back support that is owed to her will go straight to her and not to me.

It also means that Amber will have no insurance. Amber can't get public aid because she is not pregnant, homeless or in rehab. We will figure something out.

For what ever reason, Nikki's support also goes down when Amber turns 18. Nikki will be getting a whole $30 a week for child support. What the heck am I suppose to do with $30 a week?

Well my day is calling me.

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road trip!

O.K. so people liked my idea of stealing an rv.

Lets all take a road trip. Here are the rules.

I get the r.v. and we start here in southern California.

You can bring you pet, but no hubby or children.

So e mail you city and how many pets you have. Then I will start mapping out the road trip.

I will give everyone a week to sign up for the road trip.

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what the heck

Why in the heck can't I add images this morning? I spent a lot of time looking for the right one!

Anyway......

I am not a good mom. I read all the comments saying that I am a good mom. Heck no I am not!

I have been raising children since I was 19. I am so done raising children. I want to walk away from everything. I want to steal an rv, load up my animals and my hubby and just leave. I will buy those one time use cell phones so I can call the children and then they can't call back!

So I guess I should back up and tell everyone what happened last night.

I found out last night that Amber has not ben paying on her trip.

What?

So now Rusty and I have to come up with the extra money to pay her trip off.

I still need to go wash my shoes because I put my foot so far up her ass.

Then Nikki got mad at me because I would not let her eat ice cream for dinner. Oh give me a break. I let her eat it for breakfast, so what more does this child want from me?

At least they did not bitch about dinner. Yes I know that vegans do not eat anything with a head. However the children do like fish and Rusty can't stand it, so I cook it while he is out of town.

Amber called me from school this morning and asked if she could come home. She said that she is not in the mood to deal with mean people? What? I told her no she could not come home and that there are mean people everywhere..... get over it!

Oh will some please come steal my identity.

On a good note.

I have another baby blanket to make this weekend. A very dear friend is taking in a family members new born baby. This women gives new meaning to going above and beyond the call of duty. She has two grown son's and then at 47 she had a set of twins. Now at 56 she is starting over again. This lady did curse me and said that I am not to old to have more children.

Oh no I can't. I did not like 2 a.m. feeding when I was 19, I sure do not want to do them at 37.

I am finally seeing the fruit of my labor. I have 20 marines coming up to help us do demo on Monday. I have food coming in from all over, and I think everyone is happy on that front.

I actually can't wait to for Monday to come. I so want to see all of this come together. I so need to swing a sledge hammer and destroy something.

Oh my am I happy about this? I have to admit that I miss this line of work. Shhh..... don't tell anyone. Maybe I should give up my day job and go back to the corporate world. Oh wait, my day time job sucks anyway!

Well, I have a lot of donations to pick up, and letter to print off. Life goes on.

 

Listen to your mother

If I say I told you so to my children .... does that make me a bad parent?

For the last few weeks I have been trying to get Ambers butt in gear and get a hold of this summer camp that she wants to work at. Finally Amber said well I am waiting for Sam to give me the information. That set me into a tail spin.

You are waiting on some GUY to help you. Oh no she is not! So I started pointing Amber in the right direction and started telling her who to contact. It turns out that Sam's scout master told Amber to drop his name and sure enough they called last night! Amber is so thrilled. Amber is so close to getting this job. She should have listened to me weeks ago!

I want Amber to get this job for several reasons. One is because Amber is so tied to my apron strings that sometimes I want to scream. I want Amber to get this job so she can get a small taste of what it is like to be living on her own. I want Amber to get this job because by the end of summer she could have her trip to Egypt paid off. I want Amber to get this job, so that I can finally have one child out of the house even if it is only for a little while.

I only wish Nikki would listen to me when it come to Physco mom. Last night something happened at youth group and Nikki came home crying. I still do not know what happened. I have talked to Nikki's other mom about this, but she won't say anything unless Nikki say's something to her. I suggested to Nikki that she talk to her other mom, but Nikki said no.

I did find out last night that is getting closer to going to Fiji. Deb, Nikki's other mom, said that they are almost 100% certain that they will be leading the trip. I told Deb that we will see how it goes. If the money appears then Nikki will go. Some how, some way if it is meant for her to go to Fiji the money will come.

I never knew that raising a missionary was going to be so hard. I never knew that watching my child go to these countries would break my hart. I so wish I could go with her.

I am however fully prepared to have to grab my passport to watch her get married and to see my grandchildren. I know that Nikki will meet her future husband while on the mission field.

Ryan turns 13 on the 20th! Will everyone please have pity on me. I will have three teenagers in the house! Rusty and I think that we are going to get Ryan one of those gamers chairs. We just can't think of what else to get him. He does not play with toy's. He does play with his play station 2. Ryan can ride a bike, but he does not ride the one he has. Oh my brain hurts.

Yesterday I got the bathrooms scrubbed down. I am talking about toothbrush and bleach scrubbed down. They look so nice.

Today I need to do a scrub down on the kitchen, go deliver some Easter baskets to a family I adopted, and go deliver some sponsorship letter's for Nikki.

Rusty is out of town until Sunday, so I will not be actually cooking this weekend! Three cheers for me. We always go straight vegan when Rusty is gone. I may swing by the store and pick up some fish. Rusty does not like fish so I can only cook it while he is gone. Shark sounds good right now. We will see.

 

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money

On my list of must do's today is cleaning our bathroom. This has become such a time consuming chore that I dread doing it. I love my garden tub but it is so hard to clean. I hate cleaning the shower because I can never get all the hard water spots off the shower doors. Oh well so goes my life.

So the last time we moved I got rid of Ryans bed. It was old and nasty and I thought this would be a good time to get him a new one.

So before the marines left one of them asked me if I wanted a new full size bed. At first I said no, but then Amber said that she wanted it. So I took it.

Now I had to find a frame for it. Amber has been bugging me for weeks to go buy her a frame. I kept on telling her to wait. I had been asking everyone I knew if they had a frame. Finally Lyn said that they had one and that I could have it! Score!

So yesterday we gave Ryan, Ambers old bed.... it was only a year old. Then I helped Amber set up her bed. I know I saved so much money by just waiting for the right time.

Yesterday I explained to Amber that sometimes you have to wait and talk to people. I went on to explain that Lyn had the frame and that she was so happy to get it out of her storage shed. I think a light bulb went on in Ambers head.

Yesterday Nikki got her first sponsor check and she was so happy! It really gave Nikki a boost!

Two of the marines call me yesterday. Between the two marines that I spoke with they have seen everyone that we know. I am happy to report that they are all doing well.

I got a notice from the county that our child support records are now on line. So I logged in and took a look. Then I got out my handy dandy calculator and did some figuring. Can you believe that I am only getting $37.50 a week per child, and that does not include any of his back payments? I contacted the DA's office and I am waiting to hear back from them. I am going to ask that sperm donor continue to pay child support on Amber and carry medical as long as she is in college. I am also going to ask that the children get a raise to a whole $60 a week. I do not know if I will get it, but it is worth a shot.

All of the marines that were going to come down and help us do demo can't. So now I am scrambling trying to find some marines. Yesterday I called the base Sgt.Major and he is also going to put the word out that we need marines for demo. I just know that the marines will not let us down.

Well I need to get to cleaning, and then I can finish my list of a million other things that need to be done.

 

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our town

So this is my home town in spring. All of the poppies are in bloom and the hills look like they are on fire.

I live in southern California but I live inland. The poppies only bloom one time a year and I just love walking through the fields.

I found out yesterday that the post got the demo permit, so now we are waiting on a demo date. I also found out yesterday that the marines that were suppose to come up and do demo can't.

So I call a friend who is a SgtMajor..... for my Navy friends CMC..... she said that she does not have any spare marines, but that she would put the word out to all of the other SgtMajors base wide. I just know that the marines will come through for us.

I had called our local trash company and asked if they would donate some dumpster's, and they said yes. So yesterday one of the other guys called me and he had followed up with the trash company. When he called me back to say that they were indeed going to donate the dumpsters I said "Well I told you so. They are called boobs and you can get a lot done with them". This guy just laughed nd said "yes but you have a nice ass". Guys are all perverts, but hey if I can get stuff done by having a nice ass then well ......o.k.

Today I do have several phone calls to make and then I am going to spend the day doing stuff around here. Nothing to exciting. I do have one more quilt to sew for a marine that is leaving in April and I have all the material so I just need to get busy and get it done.

I am not sure what this flower is but it is scattered in with the poppies.

Last night I watched this new show on WE call high school confidential. It was so good. I guess it really caught my attention because I do have two girls in high school.

One of my other favorite shows called the secret lives of women starts again in April. I can't wait to see that!

Amber just called me and asked me to call her out of school. I guess the under classmen have testing today so for her classes she is just going to be sitting around. I told Amber that I would do that if she agreed to help me out around here. So Amber is on her way home. I know I know. I am such a bad mom.

 

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a nice weekend

So over the weekend I just spent it here at the house. I stayed away from the computer and the phone.

Over the weekend I did get some sewing done. I made a skirt for George, and some pet quilts.

Then I actually took the time to sort through my material and get it all organized. Man that was a task, but it so needed to be done.

I did some cleaning out as well. I would like to know how we get so much junk. It just amazes me that we have so much stuff.

I also helped Rusty clean out his truck and put new seat covers on. I really enjoyed spending the time with Rusty, even if we did just clean out his truck.

One of our friends stopped by. He was riding his new Harley. I was so excited when he pulled up. First of all I have not seen him in a long time. For the record he is the other half of the twins that are serving in Iraq. Anyway I had to go for a ride on his new bike. I leaned forward and said " you know there is no better accessory for a girl then some hot guy driving her around on a Harley." He just smiled. It was so nice to hit the road yesterday. I love riding on motor cycles, but I would never own one.

Today it is back to reality. I can't stay locked up anymore.

I have to print some stuff off the computer, call and see if some permits have been pulled, and figure out when we start demo. I need to get all of this done this morning so that way I can call the marines and let them know when we need them.

Once we have that date locked on I will need to call and get the dumpster's, and start getting our food donations brought in.

Oh One of the other post was kind enough to donate us 10 cases of water! That is such a huge help for us. Also Starbucks is donating all of our coffee! I love my Starbucks.

I never really knew that much about construction, but man I am now learning a lot. I never knew so many permits had to pulled or that we would need an asbestos report just to take thing to the dump.

I am glad that I have decided to stick to my word and to still help because I am learning so much about construction.

Before we moved I was cleaning out my closet and I almost threw out my steel toed shoes. For some reason I decided to keep them, and now I am glad that I did. I am going to need them!

Now you may be asking yourself why in the world would I own a pair of steel toed shoes. Through out the years I have worked odd jobs just to make ends meet. I have done everything from construction clean up to unloading trucks by hand. I have just about done it all. So several years ago I invested in a pair of steel toes just to protect my feet. Life is so odd sometimes.

Well my day is calling me and I just know that soon my phone will start ringing, so I better get busy now but the real rat race begins.

 

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please take the knife out of my back

This day has sucked big time. I want someone to pull the knife out of my back. I am so mad that I am listening to lil Kim shut up bitch. Now before you go to you tube and look this video up beware their is a warning label on this song.

I knew that I was going to have a lot of running around to do today, so I got up early so that I could some work done around here.

My first phone call was to Deb. I needed to drop some stuff off at the church for the yard sale next week. I ended up chatting with Deb via e mail. I let her know about the drop off and that I was not going to be able to help with the yard sale next week because Rusty was going to be out of town on business. In my e mail I said " is there ANY other parents that can help?" Well I guess not since she begged me to come and told me to bring Ryan with me.

O.K. I do not mind helping my children, but I did not give birth to all the children going on this trip. I have never asked for gas money as I am running around picking stuff up. I do not want to bring Ryan because I hate listening to children whine. (I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm bored.) Not only do I hate listening to it I put a stop to it and then Ryan will sit there and pout. It is just more hassle then it is worth. Anyway, am I the only mom who can give up a Saturday to help their child?

Then I get a phone call that the momma bangle had her babies! I was so excited. Then everything went down hill from there.

I found out that one of them was an albino, and I said that I wanted that one. Well now it seems that I can't have it until she talks to her husband. Excuse me bitch you told me that I could have pick of the litter. Did I not just give you $6000 worth of cats?

Then I find out that the kitten I want has a problem with its paw. So I call the vets that originally rescued the animals. O.K. I got an appointment to bring the kittens in to get them looked at. Now the lady say's that she does not want to take them in because she is scared that the vet will take them from her.

Take them forwhat? They are not breeders and they sure as hell do not want bottle feeders. I have no idea if the appointment was kept or not.

What I do know is that I will never again will help this lady rescue cats again. She says that she wants what is best for the cats but then does not want to take the kittens in for a check up? I am so done.

Then I go and and do some running around picking some stuff up for the yard sale. I swing by the vfw to talk to Rusty and I get hit with more bad news. It seems that all of my time and effort in getting donations was a waste of time. The insurance company is not going to let us expand.

O.K. so you mean to tell me that all the work I did was for nothing? I was getting ready to go get a storage unit to put all the new stuff in, but now..... Hell no.

I was asked to handle all non money donations. Fine I can do that. And now to find out that none of it will even be able to be used? Are you kidding me?

I know this is really no ones fault. But why was I asked to do something before everything was finalized.

This will be the third time that I have been screwed or hurt by the vfw. Mark my words NEVER AGAIN. The ONLY reason I got involved this time was because Rusty asked me to. Never again.

So here I sit. I will do what Creasers wife said. ( be above reproach) I will bite my tongue and smile. Inside I will be cursing everyone.

I am beginning to think that I should start to not keep my word. I am thinking that instead of people screwing me I am going to start screwing them.

Well Amber should be home soon and she wants to go to half price day at the Salvation Army. I know how cheap can we be, but hey something's never change.

The video below is rated g. I so can relate to this song.

 

 

 

 

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lesson learned

I found this graphic this morning and fell in love with it! I own three black cats so.....

So this morning I had to go into Ryans room to get something. I never go into Ryan's room, because Autistic children hate having their things touched.

There on the floor is a picture of me and someone I once knew. The photo was an 8x10 of us on her wedding day. It must have fallen out of the box that is on a shelf in Ryans closet. The photo was torn in half because it had been run over by the closet doors.

I just picked it up and threw it away. No emotions at all. While I was cleaning up I thought about how I just tossed the picture.

That was when it hit me. The gal that was in the picture with me use to be a friend. Now I do not even know where she is. I have not seen her since 1993. That picture was from my past. That picture was from a time in my life when I was in a very bad marriage and just wanted to stop living.

I will not miss the picture. My children will not mis the picture..... if they even know it existed at all.

I have come a long way. I know that I am not the same person I was back then. I now know that it is time for me to go through more pictures and get rid of them.

Our property manager Tim called and said that he had work for the girls. Some time this week the girls are going to go help him clean out his garage and get things ready for an estate sale. Tim said he finally getting around to selling his mom's stuff.

Now Amber is excited about this. Amber knows that Tim pays well and that he pays cash.

Amber is taking econ this year so she is really learning about money and the economy. Amber said that she wish's Tim would have steady work for her.

I told Amber to be patient. That this could be her foot in the door to some real steady side work. I also suggested to Amber that she talk with Tim about cleaning out the houses that other people have moved out of, or anything that he might need done.

Now the wheels in Ambers head are turning. Amber figured out that she is made more money by pulling a toilet then she did working 2 days at her "job". Amber has learned that she does not have to pay taxes on cash.

Finally somethig is starting to sink into her head.

Yesterday I went and got Nikki's sponsorship letters copied, and I even mailed a few of them for her.

Everyone says Nikki has my drive, but I know Nikki got everything else from my dad.

Nikki can have a full plate of things to do and yet she gets it all done. I swear this child never sleeps. I know as a baby she never did!

After Nikki got done with softball she came home and started filling out more letters and has a huge stack to pass out!

Watch out world Nikki is on a mission and she wont be stopped.

Well, the laundry is calling me, and I have to go to the store, so I better get moving.

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the phone is not ringing

Yesterday I thought I was going to scream. My cell phone did nothing but ring. I was trying to make calls and then someone would beep in.

I was standing at the sink eating dinner at 7 p.m. and people were still calling me. I finally just turned my phone off. For the record I did turn it back on today.

So far today it has not been that bad. I should have known that by volunteering my phone would be ringing like crazy.

Today I went and got my car registered. I did not go down to base. I just called them and asked for an extension. I can't see wasting gas just for one little thing.

I also had to go get copies made for Nikki and run a few other errands.

I am going to spend the rest of the day just doing some stuff around here. I have been running around like crazy and not really taking care of my family.

I keep hearing that it is important to eat dinner as a family. I was even criticized for because we don't eat dinner together. This person said to me " well how are you going to know what your children are up to and when do you spend quality time with them?" My answer was less then nice.\

Then this morning I heard on the radio that the average family only eats together once a week. Heck we do not even do that! Like I said earlier I was eating a taco while standing in front of the kitchen sink.

So that got me to thinking, which is never a good thing. If we wait until everyone is home to eat dinner we might not be eating dinner until 9 p.m.

Am I the only mom that has children going in a million different directions and a husband who works crazy hours? I am strange because we don't eat together, or is our family becoming the norm?

Oh crap could our family be normal? I will have to change that. Sorry I was just thinking while I am typing.

 

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mean people suck

Yesterday at 2:30 in the morning Rusty got a phone call to tell him that our vfw post was on fire. Rusty and I went back to sleep and then Rusty went down there at first day light.

Now the reason we went back to sleep was because there was nothing we could do about it at 2:30 in the morning. All we would be doing would be in the way.

I must say that our local fire department did an awesome job. They were able to save all of our pictures and other priceless stuff.

99% of the post is gone. Gone, all because some one wanted to start a fire. Yes it was arson.

So I went and took a bunch of pictures and Rusty asked me to do something that I hate to do. He asked me to go back to my job in the corporate world and start getting donations. Yes I am good at it, but man I sometimes hate doing it.

I called the marines and they are going to come tare down the building. I called the Navy sea bee's and they are going to come help rebuild.

I have to laugh about talking to the Navy. I am not a Navy wife, I am a marine wife. I don't understand Navy terms. The command master chief (Highest you can go as an enlisted person) was just awesome. Not only did he tell me who talk to, but he also told me that if no one volunteers to come us that he will voluntold them. So I wonder if the cmc will be happy to hear that the guy I was suppose to talk to has not returned my phone call yet?

My girlfriend Lyn called and asked what she can do to help. I told her our first need is to get a ton of food, water and Gatorade donated. We will have a lot of hungry and thirsty marines and sailors to take care of. So Lyn got a pallet of each donated!

Who needs extreme home makeovers..... the vfw has me! I am going to do my best to get this place up and running. I do not go down to the vfw very often, but this place is very important to my husband and my marines. Therefore it is important to me.

Tomorrow I have to go todmv and then go down to base. I am going to call base and see if I can fax some paper work into them. With the price of gas I am trying to drive as little as possible.

Well may day is calling me. I have laundry to do, a kitchen to clean, a car to go get and a ton of phone calls to make. I swear right now I am wishing for one of those dull days.

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i was not arrested

I was trying so hard to get arrested on Friday! I guess I should back up to Thursday and tell everyone why I was trying to get arrested.

Thursday. The local animal shelter is just a disgrace. So I was not shocked when the small dog part of the shelter caught on fire. However I horrified to find out that the employees did not even try to help the animals.

The total loss was about 20 dogs and 15 exotic cats! All of them burned alive.

Soon after everyone found out my phone started ringing of the hook. A bunch of local rescue group ended up getting together and we went down to the shelter to start pulling the animals. Then we all stood outside the shelter and started stopping people from placing their animals in the shelter.

I was really hoping to get arrested on national t.v. while I was taking peoples pets before they could turn them into the shelter.

Saturday I went to help with Nikkis yard sale, so that the children could raise money for the mission trip. For it being such a crappy day the children did very well. Nikki has raised enough money for her deposit. Now Nikki just has to pass out her sponsorship letters.

Someone donated a ton of Halloween make up. So Nikki and her friend were sent to sort through it and pull out what they could use for the mission trips. This will come in so handy when they dress up like clowns or do face painting.

I was asked if I would bring the make up home and sort it all out for the children. So yesterday I spent about two hours opening up make up and putting together little kits. It really was not that hard it was just time consuming. I will be doing a few more of these kit over the next few weeks. At least I can do it while I am watching t.v. or something.

Amber had a little taste of success this weekend. Out property manager offered me $100 if I would pull the toilet and replace the wax ring..... the toilet was leaking. Anyway, I took the $100 anyone can pull a toilet. It is so easy. Instead of me pulling it I told Amber that if she did it I would give her the $100. So one of the marines walked her through pulling a toilet. Amber was so proud of herself! I am proud of Amber.

Amber is my child that so wants to try new things but is so scared of failing that she will shy away.

Amber wants to go work at this summer camp. So last night we were talking about it and Amber said "well am has not gotten me the information yet". That right there sent me into a tail spin.

I very calmly said "Amber the last thing you need is to be waiting on guy to help you do something. Don't depend on someone that has let you down in the past." So Amber and I got on the Internet and we found some phone numbers and today she will need to make some phone calls.

George an I had a big falling out this weekend. The strange thing is we did not say a word to each other. George had volunteered to help me fill 6 Easter baskets and she said that she would help sort the make up. She did neither. Then George goes out and buys a bunch of stuff to make a baby quilt, and she said "I just know that you can make a cute baby blanket out off all of this stuff. The gal is having a little boy." Then George tells me that she is talking to another guy, so when George's boyfriend asked me about it I told him the truth.

George also asked me if I was getting paid to make up all of these kits. I told her no, that I am doing it because Deb asked me to do it, and it will benefit my child as well as the rest of the mission team. George was silent.

I asked Rusty about all of this. Rusty said that I need to remember that George is only 20. I don't feel that is an excuse. If you give your word then you should follow through. I won't lie for anyone, and she knows that. Rusty also said that maybe George never had friends that would do stuff for her just by her asking.

I guess the part that hurts is that I took her word, but I now know that her word means nothing. That is a shame.

Oh my head hurts.

Well, I have a lot to get done today. I was so busy most of the weekend, so I have a lot of catching up to do.

 

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