Friday, August 31, 2007

here is my notice

I am giving Rusty my two week notice. I no longer want to be the mom or a house wife.

1. I got up this morning to find out that my children sucked down a gallon of chocolate milk. That is fine, except I told them that they had to leave me one glass. I did not even get that! So I said " whoever drank the last glass milk..... I hope you go into a diabetic coma"

2. I made Ryan breakfast and then went to get dressed. What in the hell was I thinking? I come back in 15 minutes and he had not touched his food. I guess that is my fault. What was I thinking that Ryan would actually remember to eat. So now he is running late and I hade to say every 30 seconds Ryan put food in your mouth, chew and swallow.

3. I go to have my first smoke of the morning. One to find out that someone smoked my last one. I told everyone in the smoke " I hope the person who smoked my last smoke dies of lung cancer.

4. We are getting some bottle feeders in this afternoon. So I went and got the crate out. Once I got it cleaned and fresh blankets in it, fluffy and George went in there and would not get out. I had to crawl into the crate to get them out!

5. I tried to use the vacuum today. That's right I tried. I blew up another vac! we only have carpet in two rooms and I managed to blow up a vac in record breaking time!

6. I went to make a cake and some how and some way all of my spatulas are gone! What in hell is that about?

7. I have not been able to log on for two days because someone reset something on the computer.

8. I have only had sex once this week! I swear I am going to rape my husband tonight.

I swear I need a funny looking smoke.

 

17 comments:

amyrangei said...

You never fail to crack me up!  Hope your day ends better than it began.

plieck30 said...

Maybe they are using your spatulas to stir paint. Painting the garage, you think? You won't know what to do when empty nest syndrome hits you. You're so funny. Paula

eilenbug said...

It's the same here!  The male species isn't evolved enough to be here....Luv your journal. Howdy from Austin -- journals.aol.com/eilenbug/austinsky

julydarby said...

*HUGS*
Don't hurt anyone.... *smile*.... but if you do, give us all the gory details!
heather

lifes2odd said...

Well, hope the weekend is better than today!

mpnaz58 said...

I am so sorry about your situation...but thats part of the job.  Don't say you don't work or have a job, you have the hardest, least paid, overworked, thankless job in the world...being a mom!!  My kids used to do that all the time...eat everything in sight, then there'd be nothing left for tomorrow!!  You need some down time, girl...you're sounding stressed!  Or maybe you just need some sexual release!!
xoxo ~Myra

lisa41076 said...

Awwwww Kelli, hope things get better, Hugs Lisa

louiseb411 said...

Oh dear, sounds like my live, throw a strop and go out for the day. Louise xx

springangel235 said...

I do hope things get better...for you!  Many hugs and love,
Joyce

deshelestraci said...

Just remember as Dr Phil says you teach others how to treat you.  Get mad and let them know it isn't going to work that way anymore!  
I hope things get better this weekend!
Traci

seraphoflove9001 said...

I don't blame you one bit!
Lisa

rdautumnsage said...

One of my pet peeves is finding out Doc smoked my last cigarette. I don't have a problem with him smoking my cigs. Just DON'T take the last one. My revenge, he can't find the coffee in the morning to make his coffee, which I intentionally didn't make. He can't get through the morning without coffee, I can't get through it without that first smoke. Even! Close.......Tell the kids your not bringing any more chocolate milk into the house, until they either apologize or better yet replace it themselves. Pickles crate has to remain free at all times. She is frightened as all heck with thunderstorms ( a by product of surviving Katrina). I'm constantly removing fur balls (cats) out. They have the entire house, why they insist on her crate is beyond me. So yeah, I'm feeling you hon!!! What you need is a (((Hug))) and a vacation. How about that craftman house. It would be wonderful to take that over by yourself. Love Ya Indigo

lanurseprn said...

It definitely wasn't a good day for you! I hope today (Sat) is better!
Pam

loverobin32 said...

OMG I LOVE IT!!!! Not all the problems you had to encounter but how you put it out there like you did!! I almost pee my pants laughing so hard!!! I have went through more vaccum cleaners in my life than clothes..I blow every single one I buy up or for some reason they just stop sucking..its magic!! Your spatulas are missing and my forks are missing...I am the only one here...did the fork bandit come while I was sleeping or did they get up in the middle of the night and dance right out the door? Who knows, all I know is they are gone. As far as the sex part...yeah I know the feeling...well actually I am beginning to forget the feeling cause its been that long. I swear the Army just doesnt pay enough to make up for that lose! Huggggs, Robin

gehi6 said...

Good grief.  I know about vacuums blowing up, but not about smokes.  And as for sex, it might be a thing of the distant past.  But I do have to laugh at your mini-rages as conducive to making me laugh as opposed to a major one scaring me to death.  Households can get hectic when kids are young!  Gerry

nay0114 said...

My God girl thats a list. Hope things get better soon. I hate those kinda weeks.
Take care, Chrissie

sunnyside46 said...

wow
you really have had a day!
Marti