Monday, August 13, 2007


My question: cuz I'm nosey, Why does your mom favor your sister over you?  Is that one over the top?  Too nosey?  I am scared to hit send.  

O.K. trac you asked so grab a drink and let me tell you a story.

My sister had always thought that she was adopted, but she had no proof.

When I was in high school I had found a series of stuff that did not make sense to me but I just tucked everything into the back of my mind and left it there.

I took Amber back to Chicago when she was about 6 weeks old. This was the first time my family had ever seen her. So everyone was over.

Out of the blue my sister says to me I wish I knew who my father was.

I just gave her that smile. A smile that says I know something that you don't.

When we were alone my sister finally asked me what I knew. So I told her. I said " have you ever checked your bumper book? If you look at the inscription that nana Mcmahan wrote on it, it says on your first Christmas with us. Look at my birth certificate. Under mothers  name it says Hann not young. Go look in the bottom drawer of moms dresser. There is a blue clutch purse with a telegram in it and it says congratulations on your marriage....Don Hann."

I swear I could see smoke because now her wheels are turning.

Over the next year she damn near beet one of our grandmother up to find out who Don Hann was. Then she got into a fist fight with our dad over going to meet Don Hann. My sister even went to court to see if she could get the adoption records unsealed. The judge told her no.

Finally she went and met this guy. My sister said that is was very strange and that she would not see him again.

Fast forward a few years and I am going through a nasty custody divorce. I asked my mom if she had any of these issues when she divorced Don. My mom slipped up and said that Don was not my sisters father, so they did not have these issues.

I have tucked that information into the back of my mind and i will release the information when my mom dies. That way there will be no one left living that could help my sister.

My mother once told me that the only reason she gave birth to me is because my father wanted a child.

I believe that my mom treats me like shit out of guilt over my sister and the fact that she never really wanted me.

Since before I was born my mom and dad set out to keep this secret. Who is my sisters real dad?

I do not know who he is and I do not care. My father was good to her.

I do know that my mothers web of lies almost got untangled when I started talking about all I did know.

My mother has always treated my sister better and I think it was to try to make her think that everything was great.

If you were not reading my journal last year you should check out this entry. I know that are a lot of mistakes in this entry..... I was so pissed off when I wrote it! LOL

On to another subject. Nikki and Amber had to go up to the school this morning. Amber is registered for school and Nikki will register on Friday.

I now have to go find some softball cleats so that Nikki can try out for softball tomorrow.

I will get to more questions tomorrow!



deshelestraci said...

I kind of cut to the chase don't I?!  None of these, who would you have dinner with questions.  Wow.  I'm so sorry for all the hurt that your mom put on you.  That is crazy to try to keep secrets that she knew would come out some day.  I can't imagine.

louiseb411 said...

What a tangled web.Still ahvent thought of a question yet lol  Louise xx

lisa41076 said...

Awwwww Kelli I am so sorry your mom hurt you, you are such an awesome person I hate to think that you were hurt before by your mom, my dad always favored my brother to me, it hurt :( Hugs to you Lisa

rdautumnsage said...

I can relate in more ways than I wish I didn't.....I was the first born but I wasn't a boy so that crashed my mom's plans to trap my stepfather while she was still with her first husband. (Yep stepdad was really my real dad we won't go there). So when my brother came along he could do no wrong. My mom wouldn't protect me while I was being abused by the stepdad, so at 16 I left home and haven't been back since. Years later she got my phone # from my brother and would call on my birthday to ask if this was the year I was going to get saved (She was a pentecostal minister), then she would procede to hang up before you picked up the phone. I give her credit for one thing and one thing only I was born......Hang in there hon, I don't blame you for the way your feeling right now about your mother and sister. (Hugs) Indigo

cgtperkins said...

You have endured so much through your life, and Im sure we only know half of it. I think these things have made you such a strong and loving person. You are such a good mother, and you are also good to those you dont know. Im so glad that things have worked out with you as a mom!!! God bless you!!

plieck30 said...

I've always pondered a reason like this in my family but don't know anything for sure and guess I'll never know since so many are dead. Paula

kirstiepop13 said...

Thank you so much for leaving me a comment in my journal i really appreciate it. I put your journal on alert i'll be back.


lifes2odd said...

Wow Kelli, I am so sorry you've had to live with all of this. Your life has been much, much harder than I ever knew about. I'm so, so sorry.
Big J-Land group hug to you. You'll be in my prayers.

hsauls said...

OHHHH.... that's a deep dark family secret! You gotta love the intrigue! Ours was that my father's father was gay... and run out of town when my dad was a young boy. Nobody ever knew what happened to him until about three years ago, my uncle Bruce, who I was working for at the time, tracked him down via private investigator. He had died in 1999 but his partner - lifetime - 40something years - sent us a package of momentos from his life.... newspaper clippings and old drivers license and such. I photocopied every single thing. They aren't worth a dime but it was a piece of my history that had been missing. I was so relieved to know what happened.

nay0114 said...

WOW... you're just like me. I carry my sister's secret of who the father of her third child is. You don't know how many times I have wanted to tell him, but it's not my place. I have begged my sister to tell him and let him know once and for all, but she still can't do it. He was a married man, but his wife is dead now, but they have two children adopted and this is his only bioson. There are millions of dollars at hand, but that's not the reason I want him to know. I just want him to know for his own peace of mind. He thought his dad died when he was very little. It's just not right and it makes me mad because my nephew and his wife struggle with money all the time. They have two small children and would have ten if they could afford it. The thing is they can afford it, but just don't know it. There is property in my nephew's name that he has no clue of and a huge mansion built on it. But here I sit saying nothing. I guess I'll burn in hell for carrying my sister's secret, but she's my sister. If she doesn't tell before she dies, I will tell him after.
I will go read your old entry I wasn't reading your journal back then.

I'm adopted and nobody told me until I was 18yo. The only reason I got told was because my biosister was looking for me and she was really close. Word got to my mother that she was asking questions and my mother finally told me only because she was afraid this girl would come up to me on the street. It would be kinda hard not to figure it out since we are look alike siblings. So I understand both ends of the stick and it's still not easy.

Take care, Chrissie

nay0114 said...

Well heck nevermind, I did read it. I didn't realize I been reading you that long. Time flies when you're having fun.
Take care, Chrissie

amyrangei said...

My God, I am sorry but I do not like your mother!!!  I could never treat my kids like that!!  You have every single right to feel like you do!!

seraphoflove9001 said...

I feel that it's your mothers loss to chose not to visit you and her grandchildren. Sad. I also feel that thats why you're such a great mom! You're raising you children different then how you were raised. You're a very strong woman and I admire that in you.

lanurseprn said...

I'm sorry your Mom didn't treat you well. So sad what people do to each other. I think every family has some secret hiding in the closet.

nellieenglsh said...

Well that is an interesting thing.  Families are always stranger than friends!

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))))I am sorry you and your Mom didnt have a good reltionship,that is so sad.