So today was much of the same. Get up, go pee, grab a cup of coffee, let the dogs out and feed all of the cats. Then I check all of my e mails, clean up around the house, and do whatever for the rest of the day.
Today I attempted to make that damn dog bed. The directions were still in Greek, and by the time I got done with with it, it did not look like the picture and I had pieces left over. I threw the whole damn thing away.
The kittens were very playful today so I took them outside while I pulled some weeds in the flower bed.
I did sew a few more pet quilts. I did not make dinner, I just told everyone to eat left overs.
Ryan had math home work tonight. 90% of it was wrong. I just left it. I am sick of beating my head against brick wall. The teachers are paid to teach him, not me.
Amber asked me if I picked her up some photo albums that she had asked for. I told her no.
Amber then said " why do you even bother to get dressed when you do not leave the house for weeks on end?" Good question. Why bother?
I am in such a rut. I do the same shit everyday. I have no adult conversation during the day. By the time Rusty gets home he is so tired that eats something, plays a computer game and then goes to bed.
Tonight I had to wonder what could we talk about? Rusty does not want to hear about my day. He does not care that I cleaned the bathroom and took the kittens out to play. Why bother?
I know, I know. I am so very lucky to be married to a man that does not care what I do. I know that I am blessed to not have to work. I know, I know I know.
I guess I am just wondering when my life will stop revolving around my children. I so want to start living my life. I have been a mom since I was 19 and I am ready to go find a life that does not revolve around my children. Yes I am being greedy. But that is what I want.
Oh well the Tylenol p.m. is starting to kick in. and Lord knows that tomorrow I will get up and be mom all over again.