Monday, September 25, 2006

so sorry

I must say that I am sorry to my husband. I hurt his feeling by what I wrote yesterday.

Rusty does not want me to work if we do not need the money.

Rusty does also feel trapped and frustrated as well. I was so wrong not to really ask Rusty how he was feeling. So we talked today.

I am so selfish to not think of him. Rusty's only son will never do the things that a "normal" son and father do. Rusty will go on a boy scouting trip with Ryan, he will never watch him play football, or watch him get married. He will never watch Ryan chase his dream. How hard that must be Rusty.

Please do not think that I slamming Rusty. I love him more then anyone knows. I should have asked Rusty what he was really feeling, and not just assuming.

With all of that said.

I got our bedroom and bathroom scrubbed down, so now I am going to go finish so sewing.

Elle is coming in tomorrow so I am so happy. I can't wait to see her. There is never a dull moment when she is around.

Oh and I promise to do my 15 minutes of de cluttering.

6 comments:

rtgilmore34 said...

When are they going on the boy scouting trip???  Ryan's dreams may be just really small ones, that aren't too hard to achieve.  I wouldn't worry too much about the football thing, sports ain't all that.  Although I do love World Cup Soccer, LOL.  Anyway, Ryan might get married, who knows???  Some bitch in the supermarket the other day told me that she has several kids with autism.  I told her my son has Asperger's and you know what she said????  Get this... she said I should get him sterilized ASAP to prevent him from reproducing!!  You know what I told her?  I told her to walk away from me as fast as she could before smashed her face in.  On that note:

"So do not worry, saying, `What shall we eat?' or `What shall we drink?' or `What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
                                             Matthew 6:31-34

I haven't turned into a bible-thumper.  I just really love this scripture and wanted to print it here today.
---------Love ya's,  Renee

cgtperkins said...

Aw sounds like you two have a great relationship. Im sure everything will work out great with Ryan, just try and enjoy the small things that he will get to do! One small thing can often be the equal to a million huge things!!!! Have a great day
Carrie

lifes2odd said...

Well, you didn't exactly say anything mean.

Sounds like you got a lot done today! Cleaning counts just as much as decluttering, so does cooking, errands and anything else thats work that has to be done! Martha :-)

seraphoflove9001 said...

aaaawwwww, hon....you were just talking in your journal, like a sounding board. :o) You didn't say anything mean. It sounds like the two of you have a great relationship.
Lisa

lv2trnscrb said...

hugs to you; the emotions of all you struggle with are so evident in your entry;emai me if you ever need to talk

betty

zoepaul6968 said...

You know its ok hun,we all do that,i should know i upset paul on a daily basis,not meaning to really,i just open my mouth and rubbish comes out,its ok im sure Rusty understands you more than you think and hes a happy man xxzoexx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/zoepaul6968/DomesticAbuse/