Saturday, April 28, 2007

alone and disappointed

Well my day started at 5 a.m. this morning. Both of the girls had their yard sale, the boys played golf, and I am just worn out.

Amber had a good yard sale but the lady that said she was going to put up the signs never did, so I think she could have done better. Oh well that is life.

Amber had prom tonight. Amber has really hurt and disappointed me. I guess I should explain.

I never went to prom. I was the fat and ugly girl in school. Anyway, I wanted to do all of the prom stuff with Amber. I wanted to help her pick out her dress. I was not even asked to go. I wanted to help her do her hair. Amber wanted to pay someone to do it. I wanted to help her put on her make up. Amber asked this gal Lisa to do her make up. I guess I should be happy that I was allowed to put Ambers necklace on.

I know this sounds stupid, but I want to be there for every part of Ambers big night, and I was not any part of it.

Lisa saw me crying and said "If I had a daughter I would feel the same way"

I just looked at her and said " you have no idea why I am crying." and I just walked away.

Lisa came up behind me and asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I just told her no. I figured making her feel bad would not help the situation at all.

Tonight I hope that Ambers hair goes flat, and that she is so hot that all of her make up runs off. I hope that she eats before pictures and then looks fat for her pictures. I hope that she breaks a heal and gets a flat tire.

Everyone left to go get some dinner. I am glad to be alone.

Here are some things that I have learned today:

1. Go put up your own yard sale signs

2. never expect to much from your children.

3. no matter how loud you turn the music up, your sorrows will still be there.

4. no matter how much you do for your children, they will never care.

O.K. now I need to list some positive things.

1. I found some hippy clothes

2. I have a full bottle wine that is calling my name

3. I have a husband who does care about me

18 comments:

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwwww Kelli I'm sorry you got your feelings hurt ((((((((( Kelli)))))))))))) Hugs to you Lisa

deshelestraci said...

I am so sorry for you.  It is no fun to get your feelings hurt like that.  And all that you do for your kids...
Traci

helmswondermom said...

{{{Kelly}}}
So sorry that she didn't involve you at least a little bit!  Pour yourself a glass of that wine, pop in a favorite video and put your feet up.  Tomorrow don't do anything for anyone that you don't have to do, and have a "me" day.
Lori

helmswondermom said...

P.S.  She did look nice, though, and Sam looks very bashful!
Lori

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU)))))))))))))))))I am so sorry your feelings were hurt.This was your moment to be with your daughter.I can understand,because,my Mom and my Sister was both with me,helping me with my makeup and my dress and things.

seraphoflove9001 said...

{{{Kelli}}} I can honestly say that I have one girl and all of her proms were taken from me by her step mother. :o( I never went to any of my proms either because I was too shy and was never asked to go. I do have a few pictures but thats all. She looks very beautiful! :o) IT's funny...when I was high school, I was considered a hippy too! :o) My kids and my husband call me a "beatnick!" LOL I like it! :o) Because thats me! :o) I'll never change for no one! :o) Hugs hon!
Lisa

plieck30 said...

Well you're not fat and ugly now (doubt you were then by the way you look now) so get dressed sexy next Saturday night and tell that hubby no golfing tonight babe. Go dancing and show it off. Paula

nightmaremom said...

I'm sorry your day did not go as planned, but I disagree about children not caring.. sometimes they don't show it and sometimes it just takes longer but they do know how much you've done and I know they care.
Hugs to you
d

bgilmore725 said...

They're kids... not fully matured adults... they don't realize how it hurts the parents when they do these things. I don't think it's intentional to hurt us. I think when we try to live vicariously through our kids, we will end up hurt and disappointed. Maybe it's different with girls, but with my son, he explained to me early on (in middle school) that he needed me to not be around him as much as when he was in elementary school. He was kind about it, but he made it clear that he needed some space, and my husband agreed that I should back off from getting involved in his social life. I did. It hurt at first (he was my only child), but by the time he got to high school, I was well on my way to letting him have his own life with his friends, and by the time he went to college, I was well adjusted. I had finally learned to let go of my child. This is an important fact of life. It seems the less I did for him, the better our relationship was. He's 28 years old now. But, like you said, you gained insight from the experience: you have a husband who loves you and understands you. He's your forever friend. Our kids will grow up and move away, they'll get married and cling to their own spouses. Our husbands won't (unless, divorce, you know?). I hope tomorrow things will be better for you and her. Bea

kamdghwmw said...

baby, I love you far more thanI can ever show you. I know you have been dissappointed and I cannot fix that. But I love you far more than I can ever show you. You are the best person I know, and I can only hope that one day the kids see what I see in you. You are the love of my life and I am looking forward to loving you for the rest of my life...............I LOVE YOU KELLI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

louiseb411 said...

Oh Kelli, teenagers don't have much perception when it comes to their parents feelings. As I have said before in a couple of years she will come back to you. She looks so pretty by the way and I hope she has a great time. Hope you enjoyed your wine and that Rusty gave you a big hug   Louise xx

hsauls said...

This book that I'm reading - Love is a choice - talks about how we transfer all of our hopes and disappointments from childhood onto our children and that's how dysfunction continues from generation to generation. I didn't get to the go to prom either. In 11th grade I was dating a boy who was 25 and he wouldn't go... too old... and in 12th grade I had just gotten married two weeks before prom... and was three months pregnant... so... I feel you on the prom thing. Ryan's first prom was last weekend since he dropped out of school and I didn't know he was even doing it until after the fact. Cody decided that prom was too expensive and said he'd do it his senior year. I think we need to hold a second chance prom for girls like us... but with my luck... I'd still have a hard time getting a date...
Hope the wine helped!
*Hugs*
heather

springangel235 said...

What beautiful photos of your lovely daughter...she looks very pretty for her prom.  I understand your feelings...and your list.  I've felt the same way at times..
Hope you have a lovely week ahead...doing my catching up...got to keep moving...many hugs and love,
Joyce

ukgal36 said...

Kids!
please let today be better for you.... glad you vented..;-)
Lyn

jules19642001 said...

Amber is really beautiful, you must be so proud of her. Its hard when they dont want to involve you in plans, especially for special occassions. I am told they come back to mums later on in life and you become friends. I cant wait for the day to happen with Natalie. .................Jules xxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/

gehi6 said...

I am sorry you were disappointed, but my sister Linda and I have often laughed at how we had to learn to step lightly when it came to interfering with our strong willed daughters.  We each only have one daughter, and they are very bright and accomplished young women and will let us know in a hurry if we have said or done anything out of the way.  Last night my daughter told me I was not pronouncing vegan right (and I wasn't) so I stood corrected, but she said she was very proud of me for going vegan!  I was so in love with her prom that I have scanned a photo and am looking for an excuse to post it on line.  (I never got asked to a prom either)  Your daughter looks very lovely in her photo. I love the picture. But believe me, you are not alone in feeling stung over a daughter's reaction when she is asserting her right to be independent!  The more independent she can be the more she will free you to find new adventures and people to care about, too.  You will see!  Gerry  

lurkynat said...

Dearest Kelli
sigh...
....Gee I'm really sorry Kelli :(
Yeah sometimes theset eens an really break our hearts.. parents (me too) want to still be close... it's almost liek there is a kid in the teen, but there is also an adult who is grossly immature and inexperienced and does not have any common sense , nor diplomacy, and this person is driven to upset theri mother! It's liek they wake up and think" hummm! What can I do to upset Mom today???"
hang in there Kelli!
hugs , yours truly,
nat

acoward15 said...

I'm not sure that I would count hippy clothes as a positive thing!
http://journals.aol.co.uk/acoward15/andy-the-bastard