Thursday, April 19, 2007

being the bigger person

Well, here is a picture of the flowers that I sent out for the girls grandfather.I must say that doing the right thing is not easy.

Yesterday my former mother in law made a few uncalled for comments, but I just let them go. I knew that she was hurting and I did not want to add fuel to the fire.

Today I spoke with my former mother in again. I got the name and addy of the church, so that I could send out the flowers. I also asked her to please send each of the girls a copy of whatever the funeral home puts out. She said that she would also get a newspaper clipping for the girl's. Today's conversation was much nicer.

I keep asking myself why I am being so nice and why do I even care. I guess I am trying to do the right thing, with out exposing the children to their sperm donor. I am trying to be a better person.

I do hope that one day when the girls are older that they will look back and learn a lesson from me. I want them to learn that they can still be kind and care with out opening themselves up to more pain and hurt. I want them to know that doing the right thing is not easy, but it is the right thing.

I know that I am continuing to grow up. I know this because if this had happened years ago I would have not been so nice. I would not have even told the girls or cared. The moment I decided to put away all of the anger is the moment that I grew up just a little bit more.

Rusty tells me all the time that I am a better person then he is. I do not think that I better I just know that we are different. We are different in the ways that we deal with things that matter.

So the flowers have been sent and I will mail some cards out this afternoon. Now I need to focus on my family and what still needs to be done here. Tomorrow is Ambers first yard sale day, so I am going to try to help her get some stuff done today.

 

12 comments:

louiseb411 said...

Sometimes its easier just to try and move on and never stoop to others levels...if that makes sense! Hope Ambers sale goes well  Love Louise xx

lisa41076 said...

Kelli, I think your girls will learn alot from you because you are an awesome person, Good luck to Amber with her yard sale !!!!!!!!! Hugs Lisa

jules19642001 said...

what a beautiful entry Kelli. I am sure your girls will learn your lovely, beaiutiful ways and will grow up as caring and compassionate as you. Thank you for being there for me recently, love jules xxxxx
http://journals.aol.co.uk/jules19642001/Itsmylife/

plieck30 said...

The flowers are very pretty. Hope the sale goes well. Paula

hugsdoodlewacky said...

(((((((((((((((HUGSTOYOU))))))))))))))you are doing such a good job.You know what is best for your girls and they are already learning the ways of your doing.Have a nice day.I have to get ready to go to work.Yuk.lol.But I am glad I have one.

deshelestraci said...

Great advice!  It's hard but you win in the end.
Traci

ukgal36 said...

A very classy act...
Lyn

hsauls said...

My children have a non-relationship with their paternal grandmother. If she dies, I'm not sure my kids would be told. If she dies... I'm not sure I'd send flowers because there would be no one there to know who my kids were. The last thing she did for them was send a $25 check to help with school supplies four years ago. The check bounced. Their father's uncle emails me occasionally... he's the only one in that family that really gives a damn about my boys. At first I pushed the kids toward a relationship with their grandmother... but her life is caught up in drugs and stuff that is just too much of a risk for them. Forgive... and you will be forgiven... to forgive is to set a prisoner free and realize that the prisoner was you. I know this stuff. I believe this stuff... but like you, I can't expose my children to any more pain or rejection...
God bless!
heather

seraphoflove9001 said...

What a wonderful person you are! You never cease to amaze me! The flowers are beautiful. You did good. :o) Good luck with the yard sale. ;o)
Lisa

helmswondermom said...

The flowers are beautiful, and you did do the right and proper thing -- neither too much, nor too little.
Lori

lurkynat said...

Dear Kelli
oh yes they will learn alot from you then..but hey theyare already learning a ton form you now! very pretty flowers and I agree with you.
hugs,nat

gehi6 said...

I think these sentiments are so right.  Anger is our enemy if it is allowed to rule. Everybody feels anger.  That's a part of the human condition.  It is just how you handle the anger that makes the difference, I think.   Gerry